To think this was not okay?

I work at a service station in the northwest.

To all those saying it’s fine, please do NOT leave you children for one second alone in these places. They’re dangerous.

The amount of horrific things that happen in these places is a regular occurrence.

It takes seconds to put a child into a car then it’s straight on the motorway.
CCTV is not perfect, ours is completely shite.

Its nothing like letting your child go to a park alone 🙄

We actually had to put metal sheeting on every toilet cubicle siding because perverts were drilling glory holes.

Men meet for sex daily in the showers and toilets.

I agree with you there TBH lots of random people passing through and a child sat there is ripe for the picking. I know the chances are exceptionally low but why risk it when the risk profile is higher - it's not a local place with people who tend to belong to the area and are not as anonymous, and it's definitely the type of environment weirdos target for all sorts. I'd have taken them in, but I would have left them in a similar scenario at a local shop where there would be far less people miles away from home milling about and passing through who could do something and just disappear off without trace, the opportunity is higher. It's about risk profile and whilst the activity of leaving a child that age for a few mins isn't hugely risky, the nature of the location increased that risk factor to a place where I wouldn't chance it. My law enforcement career might be speaking here.

Inappropriate to leave a small child anywhere where others have access to easy transport. I’d include bus and train stations. Too easy to pick them up and be off.

seems ok to me, but i think I was more liberal than many with my dc - my DD’s walked to school alone from 7&9

Not a chance for park or services x

For me it is why leave them outside at all? If he's worried the dog would be stolen, an 8yo is unlikely to be much deterrent, and if it did happen, dc would then blame themself forevermore. I generally try and avoid that kind of risk.

I would be more likely to send dc into the cafe for the drinks - an 8yo can bring back 2 cans of lemonade or whatever.

I trusted my husband instincts enough to be a parent with him so married or not if he felt it was ok i would have no issue

We dont parent exactly the same as we are not the same people

I didn't think you were drip feeding! It's hard to put everything into an OP. I just meant, when you posted that, I thought that was what would have made the difference for me.

I do very much get it, btw. My DD is only months older than yours (she's 9) and on the whole I think her other parent does sensible things, and even so, sometimes you do question it.

I think this.

An 8 yo is in no way competent to be in charge of a dog. Therefore there’s no point leaving the child with the tethered dog.

What on earth was the child going to do if someone came to steal the dog? Nothing. What would the child do if the dog had a moment and barked or snapped at someone or needed something? Also nothing.

So best to avoid the risk (even if small) of leaving the child as they’re serving no real purpose being outside.

And the dog can hardly be relied on to guard the child.

The chance of the child being kidnapped isn’t exactly huge but it’s nothing in a place like a service station.

So I think YANBU

Edit - just read back and it looks like there were two adults present - so definitely they were unreasonable! One adult should definitely have stayed outside with the dog, and the child could then have been with either one of them.

I think the main problem is there were alternatives. If I had a dog; was alone and another sick child to clean up in toilets, I might make decision that it would be best for 8 year old to wait outside with dog while I dealt with situation. Sensible child and risk weighed up.

I can’t understand logic of 2 adults leaving child with dog alone for no other reason than… actually can’t think of one? Why did they both need to be at cafe but son didn’t?

Unless the walk of life in question is kidnapping, I can't see how the different walks of life are relevant. I don't think there are whole sections of the population likely to do such a thing....

However, I probably wouldn't leave my 8 year old outside one alone. But to be unwilling to leave a 14 year old unsupervised for 5 minutes does seem worryingly over protective - young people do need to start to learn independence at some point.

OP, I don't think this is utterly awful of your ex, but now you have flagged it hopefully he will be a little more careful in future to avoid conflict.

Out of interest, how did you find out about t? I assume your son told you, but in what context? Was he worried about it?

Sex.

"Gender" is a social construct.

Your use of 'they' etc is confusing when you are talking about one person, either your ex or your child.

Just suggest to your ex that it was a bad idea and you don't want it to happen again.

Not in a million years would I do that. Never.

I don't know anyone that would leave their 8 year old alone outside a services but I don't know why. Now I think about it is actually a bit sad.

At some point, 8 year olds went from playing out dawn til dusk to being under constant watch from their parents. I was always about 3 miles away from home all day in the summer when I was 8 and incidents with children have decreased since then although they're more present in the press.

I wouldn’t like it at all ,
I know she would be “safe “ my dog would bite anyone if they tried to take my daughter but I still wouldn’t leave her alone with him at a service station

I think, reading this thread, I do see your point more than I did before - I think it's the fact he was with the dog that makes me feel more worried, because people are right in saying he might have struggled to respond if the dog had got into something with another dog.

And I think if he wasn't comfortable, it's fair to raise it, for sure. In fact, to me that's the main thing. In your OP you don't mention that, or how you raised the issue, but I think I'd be saying that more strongly. A child doesn't always have to justify why they feel uncomfortable: if they do, they do, and it's not fair.

You shouldn't do that.

I wouldn't leave an 8-year-old outside a services.

What did he say when you asked him about it?

No way on this planet I'd be comfortable with it. And ultimately in that situation I wouldn't care if DS' Dad thought I was over-reacting... I'm truly not comfortable. So I'd politely be pointing out how important it is to me, whether they agree or not, and asking to please not leave him alone again out of respect for my wishes. Just my opinion based on my own DC but I don't believe an 8 year old has enough cognitive function to appropriately problem solve the range of possible scenarios which could come up in that situation