Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say no to grandparents' birthday plans on my weekend?

112 replies

3sausagedogs · 03/04/2026 16:36

My daughter turns 18 on Monday. Kids dad hasn’t seen his kids for about 6 years, but his parents see them every other weekend. His parents hate me because we’re not together. The birthday weekend is my weekend, but the grandmother went away last weekend so didn’t have the kids for her weekend. So she’s decided to book a restaurant, cakes, balloons etc for my Saturday night to take the kids out. I said no to my daughter, it’s not her weekend and we fell out about it. My daughter is working Sunday and out with her friends on Monday so I won’t see her then. Am I bring unreasonable by getting upset and saying no. I want to do the Saturday night and do cake, balloons etc for her birthday and I feel she’s ruining it and wrong to ask

OP posts:
Boomer55 · 03/04/2026 16:43

Listen to your daughter. Her birthday, her choice.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 03/04/2026 16:43

I said no to my daughter

So your (basically) 18 yr old daughter wants go? I think at this point it’s not up to you what she does. Although I’d agree that her grandmother is being rude to just arrange this.

we fell out about it

You and your daughter, or you and her grandmother?

IWantToRattleTheTreeOfWisdomsBog · 03/04/2026 16:42

Your daughter is an adult. Having a shared weekend agreement of a working woman is, quite frankly, bizarre.

She can decide for herself, neither you, nor her grandparents get to decide.

Smartiepants79 · 03/04/2026 16:42

You’re not wrong to be upset at the idea that you wouldn’t be the primary person celebrating your own child’s milestone birthday.
It’s poor behaviour from her grandparents. They’re lucky you’ve let them see her at all all these years.
Do I understand that DD wants to go though?? Why would she rather go out with grandparents than you to do essentially the same thing.

Brewtiful · 03/04/2026 16:41

Surely your daughter can make this decision?

Although I must say I'm amazed you've shared contact with his parents alternating weekends for so long and yet despite seeing them every other week she doesn't have any contact with her dad.

Dozer · 03/04/2026 16:40

Your DD’s grandmother (& ex’s mum) is U.

DD would be inconsiderate to prioritise seeing her grandparents over you on her birthday, if her GPs don’t treat you well.

Violetparis · 03/04/2026 16:39

Your daughter should decide.

ShetlandishMum · 03/04/2026 16:38

Daughter's choice but yes it's cheeky.

Sirzy · 03/04/2026 16:38

She is 18, surely the key is what does she want to do?

MakeMineStrong · 03/04/2026 16:38

Your daughter can decide! She’s 18!

Thehop · 03/04/2026 16:37

What does your daughter want to do

FionnulaTheCooler · 03/04/2026 16:36

What does your daughter want?