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AIBU to consider a date with a man who is sectioned under the MH act

416 replies

babypickles · 03/04/2026 14:50

Am I being unreasonable to arrange a date with a guy who is currently sectioned in a mental health facility?

I first met him at a support group and I joined a group WhatsApp. We have been talking for a few months on WhatsApp now (privately) and he is so warm, open and supportive we really get on like a house on fire.

He recently told me he had feelings and would love the opportunity to date me. I wouldn’t say he’s my type in terms of physical appearance but his persona is appealing to me. He is very emotionally available.

Am I being delusional ?

OP posts:
babypickles · 04/04/2026 13:06

RedToothBrush · 04/04/2026 13:03

I don't think anyone actually said that. I think you have totally taken something the wrong way and have massively overreacted in a way that makes me seriously raise my eyebrows.

Read the thread. They have said that.

if you bother to read my responses you will also see that I’m not a person who “overreacts”. I’ve taken many comments on board and stated on at least 5 separate occasions that I will only be pursuing anything on a “friends” only basis.

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 04/04/2026 13:03

babypickles · 04/04/2026 12:50

So you don’t think that there are comments made in this thread (or in general actually) that are rude ? Calling me loopy. Suggesting I’m some kind of “nut job” stalking mental facilities for a vulnerable partner. Calling me desperate, an unfit parent etc etc etc.

I don't think anyone actually said that. I think you have totally taken something the wrong way and have massively overreacted in a way that makes me seriously raise my eyebrows.

HortiGal · 04/04/2026 13:03

Just RTFT, Op you have children and I’m assuming some challenges yourself as you mention meeting him via a support group.
You really aren’t making good choices at all, your priority should be your own health and the welfare of your children.
Bringing a man who has been sectioned into your lives is not a good choice, leave him to get himself better and be clear you only see him as a friend.
Stay single and prioritise your family.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 13:02

x2boys · 04/04/2026 12:51

I used to be a mental health nurse nobody wants to force medication unless its absolutely necessary its distressing for everyone
I really cant imagine the covid vaccine being forced it woukd be illegal anyway.

Confiscating Easter eggs outside Tesco is a very long way from violating patients’ rights by forcibly administering a vaccine without consent, using a law that was never designed for that purpose.

x2boys · 04/04/2026 12:51

ElizabethReed · 04/04/2026 12:28

I’ve never looked at a conspiracy website in my life.

I did however work in a hospital during Covid and if you’re suggesting that the law wasn’t broken, you’re naive at best.
The law was being made up as it went aLong. Do you not remember Easter eggs being confiscated outside of tesco’s by the police?

I used to be a mental health nurse nobody wants to force medication unless its absolutely necessary its distressing for everyone
I really cant imagine the covid vaccine being forced it woukd be illegal anyway.

babypickles · 04/04/2026 12:50

RedToothBrush · 04/04/2026 12:46

Some people don't want to be honest with themselves. It's got nothing to do with rudeness.

So you don’t think that there are comments made in this thread (or in general actually) that are rude ? Calling me loopy. Suggesting I’m some kind of “nut job” stalking mental facilities for a vulnerable partner. Calling me desperate, an unfit parent etc etc etc.

OP posts:
babypickles · 04/04/2026 12:46

Tigerbalmshark · 04/04/2026 12:45

I didn’t suggest that you were. Just that it would be difficult to have anything more than friendship with him until he is out of hospital anyway.

Yeah sorry I was joking.

I’ve said a few times that I’m going to talk to him and remain as friends.

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 04/04/2026 12:46

babypickles · 04/04/2026 12:38

No.

Some people are just rude.

Some people don't want to be honest with themselves. It's got nothing to do with rudeness.

Tigerbalmshark · 04/04/2026 12:45

I didn’t suggest that you were. Just that it would be difficult to have anything more than friendship with him until he is out of hospital anyway.

babypickles · 04/04/2026 12:41

Tigerbalmshark · 04/04/2026 08:51

You can’t actually date him if he is currently under section, can you? How would that work when he can’t leave the ward? You could visit him as a friend, but it would be beyond grim to try to shag in his room or something (people do it but it is grim).

Visit him as a friend and if that goes well, start a relationship once he is out of hospital.

Don’t worry I’m not planning on busting into the ward and setting up an orgie with the inpatients.

OP posts:
TessSaysYes · 04/04/2026 12:38

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 07:17

Are you saying that having a MH problem makes you a lesser person somehow ?

I'm not
But being sectioned is crisis management.

babypickles · 04/04/2026 12:38

RedToothBrush · 04/04/2026 10:04

No.

This is people who understand that there's actually a bigger problem that has fuck all to do with being kind.

It's about a reality that you have to be in a good place to have a healthy relationship. Relationships which start with conversations like 'is it a good idea?' are usually not a good idea precisely because you have to ask the question.

Many here will have their own experiences of not being particularly mentally well and starting bad relationships because of that position because they are just happy for someone showing affection/taking time.

That's not stigma. That's recognising poor self esteem and decision making and crappy power dynamics.

He needs time and space on his own on his own terms. Then he will be in a much better position. The same probably applies to you too.

It's not about mental health and the stigma of mental health. It's about healthy decision making at the right time for the right reasons.

Considering dating someone in these circumstances is not healthy decision making at the right time for the right reasons.

No.

Some people are just rude.

OP posts:
WheretheFishesareFrightening · 04/04/2026 12:34

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 12:27

find it really sad that you’d rather be with someone that detracts from your life (accepting the kids point is personal and you may not see it that way) than be alone.

Nowhere have I said this. I prefer to think of it as accepting that we are all human and we all have our faults and issues. I’m with someone who enhances my life and accepts my many faults and foibles, just as I accept his. Nobody is perfect.

But why would you actively pursue someone that is going to bring a lot of baggage to your life? I love my DH and would stay with him if he was sectioned now, but I wouldn’t have got to the place of falling in love with him and building a life with him if that was to be a feature of our lives from the outset, and I’m not sure why anyone would.

ElizabethReed · 04/04/2026 12:28

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 12:24

They were not. The MHA does not cover this. Covid didn’t mean that medics were running around breaking the law whenever they liked to forcibly administer vaccines. Maybe leave the conspiracy theory websites alone for a bit.

I’ve never looked at a conspiracy website in my life.

I did however work in a hospital during Covid and if you’re suggesting that the law wasn’t broken, you’re naive at best.
The law was being made up as it went aLong. Do you not remember Easter eggs being confiscated outside of tesco’s by the police?

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 12:27

WheretheFishesareFrightening · 04/04/2026 10:10

He’s not perfect, but he doesn’t bring any drama or stress into my life and he enhances (or doesn’t change) any part of my life.

I find it really sad that you’d rather be with someone that detracts from your life (accepting the kids point is personal and you may not see it that way) than be alone.

find it really sad that you’d rather be with someone that detracts from your life (accepting the kids point is personal and you may not see it that way) than be alone.

Nowhere have I said this. I prefer to think of it as accepting that we are all human and we all have our faults and issues. I’m with someone who enhances my life and accepts my many faults and foibles, just as I accept his. Nobody is perfect.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 12:24

ElizabethReed · 04/04/2026 11:45

I would bet my last penny that it was though and that people were vaccinated against their will

They were not. The MHA does not cover this. Covid didn’t mean that medics were running around breaking the law whenever they liked to forcibly administer vaccines. Maybe leave the conspiracy theory websites alone for a bit.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 12:22

ElizabethReed · 04/04/2026 11:55

It absolutely was done to the elderly who had no idea what they were agreeing to.
So I’d have no doubt whatsoever that it was done to those on mental health ward so again didn’t realise what they would be agreeing to and I’m very pro vaccination so I don’t necessarily think it was a bad thing but it definitely happened
Which that makes you wonder what else happens?

No. It wasn’t. We’re talking about The Mental Health Act here. It gives clinicians the authority section a patient to administer essential treatment for their Mental Health Condition. It could not be used to forcibly administer Covid vaccinations because they are not a part of mental health treatment.

Whether or not a patient has the capacity to make their own decisions is determined by the Mental Capacity Act, and in those cases a clinician would be authorised to make a best interests decision, based on the individual.

Once again, you’re confusing capacity with consent when they are two entirely different issues. Just because someone is sectioned and on a ‘mental health ward’ doesn’t mean they lack the capacity to understand what’s happening to them, and they retain the right to refuse any treatment which does not relate to their mental health.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 12:04

ElizabethReed · 04/04/2026 10:19

As if they don’t go hand-in-hand 🙄

Maybe make sure you know what you’re talking about before you eye roll. Consent and capacity are two separate issues and are determined by two separate Acts of Parliament. Sections are issued for various reasons under the Mental Health Act for the protection of the person experiencing mental health issues and for the safety of others where appropriate. Where the person has refused treatment, they allow doctors to detain them as an inpatient and for necessary treatment to be administered. Consent is temporarily set aside for the purposes of medical treatment only. The person retains full consent in all other matters.

The MHA does not examine or assess the person’s capacity for consent - that is the purpose of the Mental Capacity Act, which allows for the assessment of a person’s mental capacity to make their own decisions. They are two distinctly different things. Even when it’s determined that a person has reduced capacity, for example due to the onset of Dementia, the law specifies that all decisions on their behalf must be taken at a suitable time for their optimum involvement.

So no. They do not go hand in hand.

ElizabethReed · 04/04/2026 11:55

XenoBitch · 04/04/2026 11:49

It wasn't though, because the MHA is strictly about MH disorders and the treatment for them.
If you are sectioned, you can refuse treatment for things that are not MH treatments.
You can also make decisions about relationships etc even if they might be unwise.

It absolutely was done to the elderly who had no idea what they were agreeing to.
So I’d have no doubt whatsoever that it was done to those on mental health ward so again didn’t realise what they would be agreeing to and I’m very pro vaccination so I don’t necessarily think it was a bad thing but it definitely happened
Which that makes you wonder what else happens?

XenoBitch · 04/04/2026 11:49

ElizabethReed · 04/04/2026 11:45

I would bet my last penny that it was though and that people were vaccinated against their will

It wasn't though, because the MHA is strictly about MH disorders and the treatment for them.
If you are sectioned, you can refuse treatment for things that are not MH treatments.
You can also make decisions about relationships etc even if they might be unwise.

BauhausOfEliott · 04/04/2026 11:48

If he is currently under section, he isn’t in the right state to be dating or making big relationship decisions. I’m not saying doesn’t have capacity - I’m sure he does. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for either of you.

ElizabethReed · 04/04/2026 11:45

XenoBitch · 04/04/2026 11:31

Yep, I remember reading about how the MHA could be used to force people to have the Covid vaccine. It could not.

I would bet my last penny that it was though and that people were vaccinated against their will

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 04/04/2026 11:36

Why has he been sectioned? If the reason is treatable then wait to see how he recovers. People who are sectioned are still human and if you like him explore this when he is recovered.

XenoBitch · 04/04/2026 11:31

Tigerbalmshark · 04/04/2026 11:28

You might not have capacity to make decisions about your MH but you can retain capacity to make other decisions (including other medical decisions). Really depends (and can fluctuate).

Yep, I remember reading about how the MHA could be used to force people to have the Covid vaccine. It could not.

Tigerbalmshark · 04/04/2026 11:28

ElizabethReed · 04/04/2026 10:19

As if they don’t go hand-in-hand 🙄

You might not have capacity to make decisions about your MH but you can retain capacity to make other decisions (including other medical decisions). Really depends (and can fluctuate).