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Original poster

AIBU to consider a date with a man who is sectioned under the MH act

416 replies

babypickles · 03/04/2026 14:50

Am I being unreasonable to arrange a date with a guy who is currently sectioned in a mental health facility?

I first met him at a support group and I joined a group WhatsApp. We have been talking for a few months on WhatsApp now (privately) and he is so warm, open and supportive we really get on like a house on fire.

He recently told me he had feelings and would love the opportunity to date me. I wouldn’t say he’s my type in terms of physical appearance but his persona is appealing to me. He is very emotionally available.

Am I being delusional ?

OP posts:
DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 15:00

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:58

But the op could have been referred.

Show quote history

Agree. If she’s been receiving mental health treatment, but there’s nothing in any of her posts to say she has. Perhaps she could clarify.

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:58

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:53

Of course it doesn’t - for him. But posters are now questioning whether OP herself has mental health problems and there’s no indication that she does. She clarified that she has never been sectioned but has had similar trauma to her friend so can relate to it.

Edited
Show quote history

But the op could have been referred.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:57

MissMoneyFairy · 04/04/2026 14:48

No, it doesn't, he's been on a section for a couple of months already and is still undergoing assessments, it doesn't sound like he is anywhere near ready for discharge yet, if he's not moving into his own flat for months. We don't know if he can leave without supervision or what section he is on or why. There will be art classes and therapy in the hospital as well.

Show quote history

I wasn’t referring to the man himself, but OP. Some posters are questioning whether OP has mental health problems. She clearly said in an update that she has never been sectioned but has suffered similar trauma to her friend so can relate to it.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:53

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:41

that doesn’t rule out a referral @DotAndCarryOne2

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Of course it doesn’t - for him. But posters are now questioning whether OP herself has mental health problems and there’s no indication that she does. She clarified that she has never been sectioned but has had similar trauma to her friend so can relate to it.

XenoBitch · 04/04/2026 14:52

x2boys · 04/04/2026 14:30

Sectioned patients are not always confined to the wards ,they are given periods of leave as their mental health starts to improve
Years ago in the mental health trust I used to work for there was a day hospital where both inpatients and out patients used to mix for activities
It closed down ,but there maybe other activities people with mental health issues csn access.

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Yes, we had one of those too which I used a few times. Was called an Acute Community Unit.
It closed down too. Only stayed open for a year.

Although OP said the group she goes to is run by volunteers, which suggests it is a charity sector run group... Mind or Rethink, as they both run groups in the community. And the art group I go to has someone there who is inpatient at the moment.

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:51

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MissMoneyFairy · 04/04/2026 14:48

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:41

that doesn’t rule out a referral @DotAndCarryOne2

Show quote history

No, it doesn't, he's been on a section for a couple of months already and is still undergoing assessments, it doesn't sound like he is anywhere near ready for discharge yet, if he's not moving into his own flat for months. We don't know if he can leave without supervision or what section he is on or why. There will be art classes and therapy in the hospital as well.

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:42

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:35

Great. Happy for you. Can we stop derailing OP’s thread now.

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Ok so….. what new light will you bring to the thread to keep it on track?

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:41

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:37

For the love of god read the updates. OP said it was an art therapy class - a support group in which she’s made some friends. This man is not confined to the hospital 24/7 and has joined the group. That’s how they met. It’s via WhatsApp from what OP says.

Show quote history

that doesn’t rule out a referral @DotAndCarryOne2

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:37

MissMoneyFairy · 04/04/2026 14:32

Was this an inpatient art therapy group, can anyone attend or is it by referral only.

For the love of god read the updates. OP said it was an art therapy class - a support group in which she’s made some friends. This man is not confined to the hospital 24/7 and has joined the group. That’s how they met. It’s via WhatsApp from what OP says.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:35

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:34

My point in a nutshell

No, absolutely no, no no no would I consider for one minute embarking on a romantic relationship with someone under a mental health order (or one in the past) because no way (none, zilch, nada) do I want to risk the possibility or inviting drama and mental health illness etc further down the line. No chance.

Show quote history

Great. Happy for you. Can we stop derailing OP’s thread now.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:35

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:31

So art therapy can help for those issues - which if the reason behind the op attending is one of them - all the more reason not to add yet more to her plate

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Add what to her plate ? Jesus wept, she’s suggesting nothing more than friendship. Are those with mental health problems not fit to have friends now ?

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:34

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:21

OK then. I give up. I’m at a loss to know what you’re saying because your point seems to be the safeguarding of the children. My point is that a breakdown can occur for a variety of reasons and doesn’t necessarily indicate that there will be any ongoing problems. Of course OP needs to take it slow and get to know him before jumping in. Which is what she’s said several times now, but clearly you haven’t read the updates.

Edited
Show quote history

My point in a nutshell

No, absolutely no, no no no would I consider for one minute embarking on a romantic relationship with someone under a mental health order (or one in the past) because no way (none, zilch, nada) do I want to risk the possibility or inviting drama and mental health illness etc further down the line. No chance.

MissMoneyFairy · 04/04/2026 14:32

Was this an inpatient art therapy group, can anyone attend or is it by referral only.

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:31

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:30

OP has provided many updates. One of them specifically said that it was a local support group through which she has made many friends and it’s not linked to mental health. Her friend has joined the art therapy class and that’s how they met. He’s not confined to the hospital and it may surprise you to know that art therapy can help with many things - general stress, respite from caring duties, recovery from cancer. It’s not just mental health.

Show quote history

So art therapy can help for those issues - which if the reason behind the op attending is one of them - all the more reason not to add yet more to her plate

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:30

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:23

arts therapy class would surely indicate that it’s for people seeking art as a form of therapy rather than just purely recreational. So perhaps the Op is suffering from mental health issues herself

Show quote history

OP has provided many updates. One of them specifically said that it was a local support group through which she has made many friends and it’s not linked to mental health. Her friend has joined the art therapy class and that’s how they met. He’s not confined to the hospital and it may surprise you to know that art therapy can help with many things - general stress, respite from caring duties, recovery from cancer. It’s not just mental health.

x2boys · 04/04/2026 14:30

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:00

So this was a recreational activity containing sectioned in patients and members of the general public?

or was the op receiving therapy herself?

Edited
Show quote history

Sectioned patients are not always confined to the wards ,they are given periods of leave as their mental health starts to improve
Years ago in the mental health trust I used to work for there was a day hospital where both inpatients and out patients used to mix for activities
It closed down ,but there maybe other activities people with mental health issues csn access.

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:23

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:18

Try reading OP’s updates and you’ll find out. It’s all there. OP says it was an art therapy class - a support group, and her friend isn’t confined to the hospital. Sections don’t mean straightjackets and padded cells.

Show quote history

arts therapy class would surely indicate that it’s for people seeking art as a form of therapy rather than just purely recreational. So perhaps the Op is suffering from mental health issues herself

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:22

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:21

OK then. I give up. I’m at a loss to know what you’re saying because your point seems to be the safeguarding of the children. My point is that a breakdown can occur for a variety of reasons and doesn’t necessarily indicate that there will be any ongoing problems. Of course OP needs to take it slow and get to know him before jumping in. Which is what she’s said several times now, but clearly you haven’t read the updates.

Edited
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Bizarre. Nothing to “give up”

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:21

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 13:58

I wouldn’t introduce the possibility of
someone in to the lives of my children only because I deem them dangerous for goodness sakes. My benchmark is somewhat higher than “is someone dangerous or not”

Show quote history

OK then. I give up. I’m at a loss to know what you’re saying because your point seems to be the safeguarding of the children. My point is that a breakdown can occur for a variety of reasons and doesn’t necessarily indicate that there will be any ongoing problems. Of course OP needs to take it slow and get to know him before jumping in. Which is what she’s said several times now, but clearly you haven’t read the updates.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 14:18

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:00

So this was a recreational activity containing sectioned in patients and members of the general public?

or was the op receiving therapy herself?

Edited
Show quote history

Try reading OP’s updates and you’ll find out. It’s all there. OP says it was an art therapy class - a support group, and her friend isn’t confined to the hospital. Sections don’t mean straightjackets and padded cells.

Original poster
babypickles · 04/04/2026 14:14

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:00

So this was a recreational activity containing sectioned in patients and members of the general public?

or was the op receiving therapy herself?

Edited
Show quote history

If you read my comments you will find out.

OP posts:
Skybluepinky · 04/04/2026 14:07

My cousin did, he spent his life in and out of the facility and also gained a drug addiction, and along the way, emptied their bank accounts. Ended up living on the streets for 5 years and died of an overdose, he loved her but had no interest in their children.

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 14:00

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 13:58

Which was not in a hospital setting. OP clarified upthread it was an art therapy session.

Show quote history

So this was a recreational activity containing sectioned in patients and members of the general public?

or was the op receiving therapy herself?

DotAndCarryOne2 · 04/04/2026 13:58

HortiGal · 04/04/2026 13:57

@DotAndCarryOne2 didn’t need to tell OP?
he’s currently an in patient having been sectioned and they met at a support group!!

Which was not in a hospital setting. OP clarified upthread it was an art therapy session.

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