AIBU to consider a date with a man who is sectioned under the MH act

What responses were you hoping to get from here

I would be careful to take care of yourself, if you get involved with someone so vulnerable you can end up feeling responsible for them and their decisions. I hope he gets well and it all works out for you both.

I think the reason people keep saying the same things is because of jusy how risky this is to you and to him and his recovery.

And I know youre saying "just friends" for now. Thats not no, and may confuse things more than help him get genuinely well. Additionally, will you move on or wait for him. That could cause you long term unhappiness too.

https://www.rethink.org/advice-and-information/rights-laws-and-criminal-justice/mental-health-laws/mental-health-act/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=220626255&gclid=Cj0KCQjwkMjOBhC5ARIsADIdb3ciJTZXghV5vBe96XXbAqoJZReFW5ybUwSNqGknLqVvzZfSe0QPs8gaAk90EALw_wcB has good resources and advice on why and when someone may be sectioned so you can consider what this shows for his stability and decide for yourself how involved you want to be atm romantically or otherwise.

Good luck

I hope they’d just come back and say “hide the thread if you don’t wish to “keep repeating myself”

Is that grounds for thread deletions these days?

@babypickles putting aside all the other reasons why not….

do you accept that the fact you have children makes the very notion of what you started your that about…. An absolute non starter?

I would urge extreme caution. I have been hospitalised for m/h reasons several times (back in the 90s). My issues have never been of a psychotic nature, in other words I never lost touch with reality. The people I encountered who had been ‘Sectioned’ were either going through an extreme psychotic episode or a danger to themselves (risk of fatally self harming).

These patients are in a state of serious vulnerability, and very often do not think they should have been detained in this way. This can sometimes mean that they are very keen to talk about the unfairness of their detention. And, whilst I am sure that it can happen that patients have been sectioned without sufficient reason, it is not usual. I don’t know where this person stands in this regard, but the crisis must have had some severity for detention to be on the table.

For both of you, embarking on a romantic attachment would be a very bad idea. In your case, it is very possible (even probable) that their well-being of a precarious nature, requiring the right conditions to be present (meds, lifestyle, support). You need to think very carefully about your ability to support this; being involved with someone with these requirements has the potential to be emotionally draining, with situations that feel impossible to navigate. You may have that capacity. However, it is something you need to be 100% sure of in order to safeguard your own mental health.

In their case, romantic attachments are potentially very harmful indeed. Living with a mental illness can heighten the seeking of a partner for a variety of reasons, up to and including as a day to day support. That’s not to dismiss them, but adding the additional dimension of potentially rocky romantic scenarios could negatively impact their stability.

All this is to say please be very fully informed of such a situation. My personal opinion would be: don’t do it!! For both your sakes.

This.

From experience, sadly, this. I tried, knowing his history, but it simply wasn’t enough.

Please be careful OP. Take things slowly and get to know him properly. I’m sure he’s great and he could be worth it, but it won’t be easy.

Not sure what OP expected!

You are seriously delusional!

Run....

Nothing wrong with dating a person with MHP, just they're a bit needy so it can feel overwhelming if it becomes serious.

I was horrified by comments - nasty people...

@babypickles the timing doesn’t sound great for either of you. If you rush into it now it may lead to heartbreak, I’d wait until he’s more settled and secure.

How did he respond to that? It might be that he needs to cut this off now and reach out after hes left the facility and got back on his feet

If he comes across that way it could be that hes clinging to you for emotional connection to "save him"

If hes sectioned in a mental health facility hes been deemed legally unsafe to himself atm

You dont want him attaching to you when he isnt in the headspace to BE open warm and supportive. Its easy to present as that when your main connection is via digital communication where his only real experience of you is what you tell him about yourself.

Being sectioned makes him emotionally unavailable. If he is appearing as open warm and supportive with you then hes prioritising pursuing you over dealing with his issues and that not good. You wouldnt want his emotional stability to become reliant on you.

Honestly OP, walk away. My mother has a history of frequent sections. She has only been sectioned when she has been absolutely bat shit crazy and very unwell indeed. The bar for sectioning is very high. He needs time and space to recover and you (to be frank) could also be putting yourself at some risk.

I think you’re wise at the moment to remain as friends. Once he leaves the MH unit and moves into a new place it’s going to be very unsettling for him and he will require lots of support to get himself back on his feet. Navigating a new relationship at the same time will make that 1000x harder.

You also need to think of yourself too of course. From what I can gather you have had MH issues yourself and it wouldn’t be fair to you jumping into a relationship with someone who is going to be really vulnerable at the moment.

stay friends, set boundaries and things might naturally happen in future when is he well again xx

Unless you have also been or are at risk of being sectioned and could only ever date someone in the same shoes because no one else would understand you, then I agree with PPs that this wouldn’t be a good idea. Leaving everything else out, would you find it easy to break things off with him if you wanted to, knowing his sectioning was due to his MH following a loss?

So, I was at my worst mentally in 2010 and close to being sectioned. I suffered with psychotic depression and was pretty loopy, I started meds in August 2010 and met a bloke in October 2010. I was so scared to tell him about my mental health conditions as thought he would run a mile, and I couldn't blame him as it's a lot to take on. We ended up talking about it all a few months later and he was so supportive and helped me a lot! We're married now and have 2 beautiful daughters together. He is the love of my life and my absolute rock, he's helped me through some really dark and tough times and I've helped him as well. Just be open and honest with each other really! I hope he recovers soon

Yes, I wouldn’t be in a hurry to 100% believe the entire account of the circumstances around his sectioning given it’s entirely his view of the situation.

My relative who was sectioned is not deliberately untruthful about why she was sectioned, but she genuinely doesn’t believe she was a danger to herself or others, when in reality she was making death threats to multiple people. She doesn’t remember this. So, if she were telling anyone about her own mental health her story (even when talking to me) is full of non-truths (not lies, because she believes what she’s saying) and a stranger would have no way of knowing the reality.