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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to consider a date with a man who is sectioned under the MH act

416 replies

babypickles · 03/04/2026 14:50

Am I being unreasonable to arrange a date with a guy who is currently sectioned in a mental health facility?

I first met him at a support group and I joined a group WhatsApp. We have been talking for a few months on WhatsApp now (privately) and he is so warm, open and supportive we really get on like a house on fire.

He recently told me he had feelings and would love the opportunity to date me. I wouldn’t say he’s my type in terms of physical appearance but his persona is appealing to me. He is very emotionally available.

Am I being delusional ?

OP posts:
Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 21:43

XenoBitch · 06/04/2026 21:34

RTFT

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So no one used that word you put in quotes. Got it

XenoBitch · 06/04/2026 21:34

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 21:32

You put “loony” in quotes

did any poster use that word?

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RTFT

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 21:32

XenoBitch · 06/04/2026 21:29

@DotAndCarryOne2 has actually been very informative and measured on this thread.
She has been combatting the various misconceptions coming up about people in hospital, especially surrounding capacity.
I am really glad she is posting and sticking up for us "loony" people.

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You put “loony” in quotes

did any poster use that word?

XenoBitch · 06/04/2026 21:29

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 21:23

I asked a question
?

You have stormed on to the thread ridiculing / criticising / scalding who would have the audacity not to consider a romantic relationship with someone currently an inpatient due to being section because they don’t want to take the risk of it happening again - and their children being involved.

Show quote history

@DotAndCarryOne2 has actually been very informative and measured on this thread.
She has been combatting the various misconceptions coming up about people in hospital, especially surrounding capacity.
I am really glad she is posting and sticking up for us "loony" people.

XenoBitch · 06/04/2026 21:25

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 21:24

He’s an in patient so probably likely he would need to be accompanied too.

was your DP in your life before you were sectioned? Or did you meet him when you were under a section order and an inpatient?

Edited
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Before I was sectioned. But from the comments on this thread, I should be alone forever.

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 21:24

XenoBitch · 06/04/2026 21:22

I was allowed out on leave, but it was with my DP.
When I have been an informal patient, there were times I was only let out with staff from the ward.

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He’s an in patient so probably likely he would need to be accompanied too.

was your DP in your life before you were sectioned? Or did you meet him when you were under a section order and an inpatient?

JHound · 06/04/2026 21:24

You cannot be this desperate surely?

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 21:23

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 21:20

Possibility, not an automatic assumption. It depends on whether he’s approaching discharge because unaccompanied leave is part of the preparations for regaining independence. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone under section is a danger to others - there are many reasons for section and people do recover with support.

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I asked a question
?

You have stormed on to the thread ridiculing / criticising / scalding who would have the audacity not to consider a romantic relationship with someone currently an inpatient due to being section because they don’t want to take the risk of it happening again - and their children being involved.

XenoBitch · 06/04/2026 21:22

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 21:15

So yes… there is a possibility he wouldn’t be allowed out unaccompanied

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I was allowed out on leave, but it was with my DP.
When I have been an informal patient, there were times I was only let out with staff from the ward.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 21:20

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 21:15

So yes… there is a possibility he wouldn’t be allowed out unaccompanied

Show quote history

Possibility, not an automatic assumption. It depends on whether he’s approaching discharge because unaccompanied leave is part of the preparations for regaining independence. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone under section is a danger to others - there are many reasons for section and people do recover with support.

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 21:15

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 21:14

Guess again. There will have been a risk assessment, and whether he is allowed out accompanied or with supervision is the decision of the treating clinicians.

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So yes… there is a possibility he wouldn’t be allowed out unaccompanied

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 21:14

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 18:13

Guessing he’d have to be accompanied by a mental health care professional on any date if he’s an inpatient under a mental health sectioning?

Guess again. There will have been a risk assessment, and whether he is allowed out accompanied or with supervision is the decision of the treating clinicians.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 21:11

XenoBitch · 06/04/2026 20:53

Yes, this.

I unfollowed this thread but it kept popping up, and it is fucking awful to see that nothing has really changed on it.

OP still says she will just be friend with this man... and all the stereotyping of people with MH issues still keeps coming.

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I tried to unfollow it, but as you say, it kept cropping up. I’ve had over twenty years experience of working with the disabled as an outreach/support worker - a fair proportion of those had mental health issues of varying degrees. I never fail to be disgusted and disappointed by MN when it comes to attitudes towards those who suffer from mental health issues. Nowhere else have I seen such ignorant and downright ableist attitudes - words like ‘loopy’, nut job’ and ‘red flag’ bandied about by people who clearly have no idea what they’re talking about and no respect for those who do. Shameful and depressing.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 06/04/2026 20:55

Fucking hell. Some of you are really nasty people.

XenoBitch · 06/04/2026 20:53

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 20:52

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen such shameless ableism and incorrect stereotyping on MN. And that’s saying something.

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Yes, this.

I unfollowed this thread but it kept popping up, and it is fucking awful to see that nothing has really changed on it.

OP still says she will just be friend with this man... and all the stereotyping of people with MH issues still keeps coming.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 20:52

This reply has been deleted

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I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen such shameless ableism and incorrect stereotyping on MN. And that’s saying something.

XenoBitch · 06/04/2026 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I have been sectioned many times. I am under CMHT right now.

Can you please explain to me why I do not deserve love? Can you explain how I am not capable of relationships.

x2boys · 06/04/2026 20:51

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 19:41

Does he have unaccompanied leave? Or was that not covered?

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I have no idea but its common for patients to be granted leave as their mental health starts to improve and for periods of leave to be increased before discharge .

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 20:49

This reply has been deleted

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Utter bollocks.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 20:49

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 20:46

Posters are responding to the original op where it is very clear the op is indeed seriously considering embarking on a romantic relationship.

The fact she changes her mind doesn’t negate the fact that she was even considering it in the first place - hence posters making their points on the original OP

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Well they should read the updates then. That’s what they’re for.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 20:48

Fliesinmyeyes · 05/04/2026 12:47

Some of the responses here are astonishing. Here are some facts.

There is a huge difference between mental health and mental capacity. Somebody with mental health issues is deemed to have capacity unless they are assessed under the Mental Capacity Act and deemed not to.

Somebody sectioned under the MH Act is not necessarily in hospital. They may be being treated at home under a Community Treatment Order. Don't assume they are in a locked ward in a psychiatric hospital. (though some are)

There are far too many reasons for why people are sectioned, to be able to make an objective statement about their ability to conduct a relationship. Everybody is different. Response to treatment is different, reasons for the detention vary dramatically. There is no definitive answer to the OPs question, but the ignorance shown in some of the responses is frightening.
.
.

Absolutely this. Some of the responses are, and continue to be ignorant in the extreme. The difference between the MHA and the MCA and the difference between consent and capacity have been explained over and over, and still posters are ignoring the facts.

Cushionsplease · 06/04/2026 20:46

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 20:44

I hope so. OP has said over and over that she’s only considering friendship and to date nobody has bothered to read the updates because she’s still being lectured on the dangers of a romantic connection to someone with MH problems.

Show quote history

Posters are responding to the original op where it is very clear the op is indeed seriously considering embarking on a romantic relationship.

The fact she changes her mind doesn’t negate the fact that she was even considering it in the first place - hence posters making their points on the original OP

ExOptimist · 06/04/2026 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 20:44

Whatsnextforbea · 05/04/2026 07:25

Is that grounds for thread deletions these days?

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I hope so. OP has said over and over that she’s only considering friendship and to date nobody has bothered to read the updates because she’s still being lectured on the dangers of a romantic connection to someone with MH problems.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 20:42

Jollyhockeystickss · 06/04/2026 13:44

Because she can rescue him and make him all better! And its so wonderful to be needed, and he is just looking for someone to rescue him and here you are

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What an awful post. Try reading the updates. OP said quite a while back that they were going to be friends and nothing more for a while.