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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to consider a date with a man who is sectioned under the MH act

416 replies

babypickles · 03/04/2026 14:50

Am I being unreasonable to arrange a date with a guy who is currently sectioned in a mental health facility?

I first met him at a support group and I joined a group WhatsApp. We have been talking for a few months on WhatsApp now (privately) and he is so warm, open and supportive we really get on like a house on fire.

He recently told me he had feelings and would love the opportunity to date me. I wouldn’t say he’s my type in terms of physical appearance but his persona is appealing to me. He is very emotionally available.

Am I being delusional ?

OP posts:
Eudaimonia11 · 03/04/2026 15:36

Definitely delusional, Jesus Christ!

It did make me chuckle though, the image of MN hanging around outside hospitals and homeless shelters in the hope of getting a date. I know the apps are pretty rubbish but surely things aren’t that dire that we need to target the vulnerable?!

Original poster
babypickles · 03/04/2026 15:29

EwwSprouts · 03/04/2026 14:54

Please ask MN to move this to the mental health board. You will get more responses from people who have partnered those with MH issues. AIBU can be harsh.

Harsh and totally ignorant/judgey it seems.

Thanks for the heads up re the MH forum.

OP posts:
ThatLilacTiger · 03/04/2026 15:29

Um, can he consent?

Dimpledaisies · 03/04/2026 15:08

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This has been deleted by MNHQ.

Original poster
babypickles · 03/04/2026 15:03

Orangemintcream · 03/04/2026 14:58

Well I imagine you’ll wait for him to be released and a bit better first ?

I obviously can’t speak for him but someone vulnerable and unwell probably will need to take it very slowly - perhaps you could meet up as a friend first ?

Yes that’s how it would be.

He is in the process of assessment etc and will be moving into his own place in the next few months.

I am mindful that he is vulnerable and that’s my main concern.

OP posts:
x2boys · 03/04/2026 15:00

I wouldn't date him whilst he is still currently detained under the MHA as clearly hes still unwell
Maybe when hes been discharged and.hes stable you can think about it.

Orangemintcream · 03/04/2026 14:58

Well I imagine you’ll wait for him to be released and a bit better first ?

I obviously can’t speak for him but someone vulnerable and unwell probably will need to take it very slowly - perhaps you could meet up as a friend first ?

Bimblebombles · 03/04/2026 14:56

Mental health conditions of that severity are very often relapsing conditions. Think about what the future would look like. Also he is vulnerable and possibly irrational / delusional right now. Not the best point to insert yourself into his life.

Unnomdeplume · 03/04/2026 14:54

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EwwSprouts · 03/04/2026 14:54

Please ask MN to move this to the mental health board. You will get more responses from people who have partnered those with MH issues. AIBU can be harsh.

LifeIsShambolic · 03/04/2026 14:53

Yes, completely delusional.

AmberTigerEyes · 03/04/2026 14:53

He is a vulnerable person that cannot consent to a relationship. You would be preying on him.

Unnomdeplume · 03/04/2026 14:52

🥱 I doubt this is real

🚩🚩🚩 Here's a few of these, if it is real- you can have them

Hobnobswantshernameback · 03/04/2026 14:52

Yeh crack on hun
you do you boo
🙄

HarlanCobenDogshit · 03/04/2026 14:52

Maybe give him space to recover first?

Locutus2000 · 03/04/2026 14:51

What responses are you hoping for here?