AIBU to consider a date with a man who is sectioned under the MH act

Please watch season 6 episode 10 of sex and the city where Carrie does exactly this!

We don't all have to tiptoe around mental health issues and always have to be extremely serious about them. There can be irreverence.

A close family friend had to be sectioned a couple of decades ago because of her behaviour, some of which was actually very funny. It turned out that she has bipolar disorder and has been on medication ever since which enabled her to live a normal life and be very successful.

She herself refers to that period of her life as the time when she was a total loopy nutcase who had to be put in the loony bin and is happy for others to refer to when she was mad etc.
So taking an actual mentally ill person's lead, no I don't have a problem using that phrase.

I didn't imply that.

MN currently deluged by posters with suspect posts. That's all.

We’re talking about someone ill enough to be sectioned under the mental health act. Do you really think the term ‘loopy’ is appropriate ? How would you feel if that was applied to your partner, or a member of your family ? Most people struggle with mental health at some point in their lives and I would hope that they would not be thought of as ‘loopy’ for needing/seeking help.

Quite honestly, you'd be as loopy as him.

Taking away consent is nothing to do with capacity. They are two different things. I worked with the mental health act for over twenty years. Being sectioned absolutely does not mean you have no capacity to make your own decisions, but that the choice has been taken away from you for whatever reason that led to your sectioning.

FFS !!

It doesn’t automatically mean that. It can mean that, as someone who can return to a stable and supportive home life can be a candidate to do some recovery at home.

Do you have a thing about "saving" people? Because that never ends well.

How does being in Section 3 mean someone is less likely to have a strong support network?? 28 days goes really quickly. Some of that may have been unmedicated and then they may be trying out different medications and doses.

Walk away. You get one chance at life. Why purposely make it desperately hard?

Please read the mental health act. The act of sectioning someone is taking away their consent, that's why it's so scary to be sectioned (ask me how I know)

Trauma bonding never works out well. You admit you’re not even physically attracted to him but that you share trauma and he’s ’emotionally available’. He’s incredibly vulnerable and if you met at a support group, I’d hazard a guess you are too. Why even go there? You must see this is a disaster waiting to happen. Say he gets too much so you break it off, what would that do to his already fragile self esteem? Don’t do this.

My best friend has been sectioned under the MH act multiple times. I would be very wary of anyone choosing to date them while under an active section as it goes without saying they are vulnerable at that time.
When unwell boundaries get blurred and attachments can become unhealthy. I don't think it is a wise thing to do. A friendship with firm boundaries could potentially develop into more further down the line if he gets well and stable, but I don't think it would be the right thing to do now.

Quite honestly, I think people that suffer with MH issues are often 'nicer' people. They feel so much more than knobbers that can just shrug stuff off.

Nothing wrong with being friends and putting a year limit to see how things are then before changing it if you want to @babypickles

My DH was suffering horribly when I met him. He had dealt with some horrific stuff at work (job) then his Mum died and he couldn't bounce back. We talked and talked for hundreds of hours and totally bonded.

We've been together 24 years and he has never relapsed. He is a wonderful human being. I could see that in him when I met him and that the illness was a stinking wet heavy overcoat he was wearing only. Nothing to do with his soul or personality.

I didn't fix him. He did that himself.

I would be worried that you might start to feel responsible for his mental wellbeing. This adds a layer of pressure to the early days of a relationship. What if he starts to depend on you and you realise after a few weeks or months that you don’t want to pursue a long-term relationship? It feels fraught with danger for both of you

Please don’t. I did this once. The knock on effects lasted years. Please don’t.

Is he manic? My stepmum (before she met my dad) used to arrange dates with random men when she was inpatient. It was poor decision making from the mania. Don’t meet him til he’s stable.

I obviously don’t, especially as previously mentioned I have first hand experience with people who suffer from mental illness, have been sectioned, have been through psychosis……………….

Concentrate on getting yourself better. You'll end up taking on this man's problems because you'll see them as 'worse' than yours and that could make you even more unwell then you are now.

@UnnomdeplumeYes because people who are sectioned couldn’t possibly get on well with a ‘normal’ person, could they?! Being all mentally ill and all that 🥴🫪😵‍💫 My god the ignorance…..

Well said.

Someone would only be sectioned under MH act if they need urgent help and won’t go voluntarily to a psychiatric ward and they are a danger to themselves or others. It’s not something that is done lightly. My brother has been sectioned a few times. Would I date someone who had been sectioned? No.

Personally I think you could be a friend to someone who was sectioned, that you haven’t ruled out dating. But I don’t think you should date him now.

Dating is unsettling, you have to be able to end it with him at any point. If that was me I’d be worried that I could upset his recovery at this vulnerable time.

Because it sounds more like you’re referring to a prisoner and I wonder if you see the situations as the same.