AIBU to consider a date with a man who is sectioned under the MH act

Don't you aspire to more, in a partner?
I'm slightly amazed by this

While I believe everyone deserves a normal life and a chance, for him to be sanctioned it means his condition is incredibly serious. If things develop, you are not just signing up for good looks and personality- you sign up for his diagnosis too, the potential of relapse, and consequences of his illness.

Are you prepared to accept this? Are you looking for long-term relationship in which case all of the above and future plans needs to be considered? If his condition doesn’t fit your future, you are putting your time, energy and potentially heart on the line for something doomed. If you want some fun, and you feel safe, then it may not matter.

I understand, the guilt of saying no and feeling bad. But it is your life. I chatted to someone once who was very secretive about his health and was saying he wouldn’t disclose until after a 3rd date. I explained that if his health condition didn’t align with what I want for myself, then it wouldn’t matter if he told me now or after 10 days - I would walk, and so I prefer not to waste my time. He was still in rehab after having a brain tumour. Despite my sympathies - I declined a date - I cannot deal with this in a new relationship. He told me to fuck off, that I am a bitch etc. I made the right decision.

What I mean is only you know what you want, and if what you want is this date.

No, these conditions tend to be relapsing remitting. He may get better for a bit but then he'll relapse again. Financially, emotionally, practically - all would be very difficult.

The threshold to be involuntarily sectioned is extremely high. He will have to be very sure to be an imminent risk to himself or others.

If he has agreed to inpatient treatment rather than being involuntarily sectioned he is still likely to be very vulnerable. I wouldnt consider it for his sake as well as yours. If it doesnt go well then he isnt likely to be in a mental state to handle the rejection.

I thought this was the case too.

To the posters saying 'I dated someone with mental health problems' - that is not in any way similar to being on a current section under the Mental Health Act.

OP it's pretty standard for support groups to have boundaries around no relationships between group members.

This is what I was alluding to, what ElizabethReed said. It is tragic for the unwell person and debilitating for those left behind. I would not go there at all.

No, I'm not confused. It is generally not considered appropriate to date within a support group, probably to protect vulnerable people who wouldn't be there if they didn't need support.

This particular circumstance shows a particularly vulnerable man who @babypickles created a thread about dating him, but then isn't dating him and seems to be ignoring advice not to date a man who is sectioned especially as she has children so can't see relationships being encouraged in this support group..

Is he single? Does he have baggage like kids, divorce etc, do you think he’ll relapse based on what he has been sectioned for?

I went on a date with a man once Who announced somewhere between the main course and desert that he was in therapy and receiving help with his mental health and the psychiatrist had made it very clear that he should not be dating for a good 12 months whilst in therapy
So I did the decent thing and stepped back
Within six months, he’d married somebody
And within 12 months he had unalived himself.
it turns out these psychiatrists know what they’re talking about

I personally would say don't go there. I hot involved with a lovely man who had mental health isdues. I met him when he was well, but in just over two years he had 2 long episodes of being unwell. It was heart breaking. It nearly broke me. It didn't end well. When he was well it was wonderful. Nearly 5 years after it ended I am still not back to the true me.

Well you need to act like a decent mother, put them first, and forget all about this man.

You seem to be arguing with everyone who says no or not until he's out and healed enough. Not sure why you posted tbh.

Be friends. It's not a good time to be starting a new relationship, he needs to be focusing on his recovery, new relationships, even great ones can be very overwhelming and destabilising. You can reassess things for you both in a few months when things have hopefully settled a bit..

I met my DP in a support group. There was no rules about relationships at all.

Are you getting support group confused with group therapy? They are totally different.

Since dating people you meet in a support group is fairly unethical, you don't need to hurt anyone's feeling by telling him that you don't think it would be appropriate under those circumstances.

He is so unwell he has been sectioned. Is this a joke post? Obviously you dont date him.

Please tell me you don't have children op

Agree 100% i often use terms like crazy, insane, fruit loop after acting like an absolute nutcase. I also have bipolar and bpd and some of the things I've done are completely batshit crazy and I'm the first to admit it.

It’s not about being harsh about people with mental health struggles, it’s about being aware how unwell you need to meet the criteria for detention under the mental health act (risk to self or to others or from others ie very vulnerable- normally very very depressed and risk to self or psychosis) It’s one thing supporting an existing friend or partner through this and another starting dating. He’s leave has to be approved for him to even leave escorted and will be for set times/areas. You could keep lightly in touch and see what happens later

Emotionally available or emotionally unstable more like. No, do not date someone who is currently sectioned. Unless you want to turn your life into a living hell.