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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to hope this heartbreaking story is a catalyst for change?

118 replies

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 12:06

I hope this awful story underlines the need for specialist support for parents with disabled children. I work in a special school and have seen the struggles may parent face when it’s school holidays.

https://www.doncasterfreepress.co.uk/news/people/nyla-bradshaw-no-suspicious-circumstances-say-police-amid-childminder-claims-6534937 www.doncasterfreepress.co.uk/news/people/nyla-bradshaw-no-suspicious-circumstances-say-police-amid-childminder-claims-6534937]]]]

Poor little girl and her family. And the childminder who I am sure is distraught. Just a really awful story and there are no winners or villains in it.

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 03/04/2026 13:23

Silverbirchleaf · 03/04/2026 12:47

The childminder was specifically asked not to take the child out, and the child is known to be an escape artist (even involving special measures put in the house)and yet the childminder still took her out. I know she would have never predicted the tragic consequences, but you still adhere to the parents wishes.

And what if the childminder didn't take her out and she escaped from the house?

It doesn't actually say that the childminder took her out. People are just making assumptions.

As others have said, there are a lot of missing details.

Shinyandnew1 · 03/04/2026 13:23

How do you know additional information but has no connection to the case?

If it was something like the mum told the childminder she had to stay inside the house and the childminder said, ‘I can’t do that, no’ but the mum left the child there anyway, then that’s a bit different. I haven’t read anything about the case though.

I can’t imagine any changes to childcare for pupils with SEN will be coming though it’s expensive and no government seems to want to spend any money on it.

2UNDR2 · 03/04/2026 13:22

I presume the additional information mentioned here is the screenshots of messages posted on the parents Facebook page between themselves and the childminder prior to the little girl being placed in her care.

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:22

JustCabbaggeLooking · 03/04/2026 13:18

You are posting in bad faith.

I am absolutely not posting in bad faith. If I was inclined to do so, I would never, ever use a tragedy involving a seven year old to do so.

OP posts:
homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:21

TMFF · 03/04/2026 13:18

So 'I know some additional information' was bollocks then?

No. I’m still lost.

So the ‘additional’ information I know is that the childminder told the mother she was out a lot with the children. That’s in the public domain but I don’t want to link to it because it’s via a fundraising for charity which I have donated to. I know the parents’ names are in the press but I still feel uneasy linking to something with their full names on which I’m sure you can understand.

However, it IS possible the mother said something like ‘she must be on reins if you go out with her’ or ‘you can’t go to X place’ or ‘she can’t go near Y.’ I’ve no way of knowing that. I’m not claiming anyone is blameless or that things couldn’t have been done differently.

What I am saying is that the situation came about because of lack of viable alternatives and it’s that I’d like to see change.

OP posts:
JustCabbaggeLooking · 03/04/2026 13:18

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:08

I think it’s perfectly appropriate to raise the struggles families of disabled children have accessing childcare. I didn’t start it as a torch and pitchfork thread.

You are posting in bad faith.

TMFF · 03/04/2026 13:18

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:15

No connection at all, I can assure you.

So 'I know some additional information' was bollocks then?

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:17

OneTimeThingToday · 03/04/2026 13:16

Fortunately, there is a multi agency investigation going on, which will hopefully lead to better options for disabled children, rather then burning the childminder at the stake.

Maybe schools for severe SEND should be open throughout the year... not for lessons, but as holiday clubs with properly trained care workers.

Ideally this would be what happens as a result.

I really hope so.

OP posts:
homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:17

@TMFF no. I’m not sounding difficult here but genuinely don’t know what you’re getting at there.

OP posts:
OneTimeThingToday · 03/04/2026 13:16

Fortunately, there is a multi agency investigation going on, which will hopefully lead to better options for disabled children, rather then burning the childminder at the stake.

Maybe schools for severe SEND should be open throughout the year... not for lessons, but as holiday clubs with properly trained care workers.

TMFF · 03/04/2026 13:16

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:02

I do know some additional detail but it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to comment further. The only thing I’ve indicated is that the childminder did tell the mother she was out a lot with the children and that is actually in the public domain.

I don’t know if there were instructions she didn’t follow.

These are your actual words OP ^^

Have you forgotten them already?

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:15

ThereAreOnlyShadesOfGrey · 03/04/2026 13:10

I think it’s very apparent that the OP is connected to this case in some way and this thread should be removed.

Not least because hopefully prosecutions will follow, and any thread like this could prejudice a trial if one happens.

No connection at all, I can assure you.

OP posts:
LegencyMonsters · 03/04/2026 13:14

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:12

I don’t think either of them did anything ‘wrong.’ The mother wasn’t wrong to work and the childminder wasn’t wrong to go out.

There are absolutely things that cold have been done differently but that’s not the same.

Dont talk stupid. A child was in care of the childminder and died. Its 100% HER FAULT.
Its very clear you have connections to the childminder which is why you keep defending the women who let a child die in her care.

Nothung · 03/04/2026 13:14

JustAnotherWhinger · 03/04/2026 13:11

It’s really disingenuous to start a thread pretending that it’s about the needs of families with disabled children when actually it’s about saying this specific CM didn’t do anything wrong in the death of this child.

A child has died in an incident that should never have happened. The CM should have been very clear with the parents if she wasn’t capable of offering the level of care the child needed. And the outing should have been risk assessed, and then cancelled if it wasn’t safe for all of the children in attendance that day.

glibly saying “the CM told the mum she went out a lot” is ridiculous, and actually offensive. A child is dead because of poor care.

But given that we simply don’t know the details, all we can conclude is that a child died because of some serious failures in communication about the child’s needs and exactly what stringent measures were needed to keep the child safe.

Mingspingpongball · 03/04/2026 13:14

The only change coming about for parents of disabled children are cuts to the EHCP process, cuts to physiotherapy, special school shortage, cuts proposed to council budgets for school transport for children exactly like this child..,, and half the country applauding the changes because “bad parenting” or “anxiety/teach resilience “. I know because I have a severely disabled child.

OP if you are discussing a case with inside knowledge you should be careful- defamation and libel are thoughts that spring to mind.. especially if THIS thread ever got into the press.

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:14

You have a combination of a parent who desparately needs childcare and a childminder who perhaps wasn't aware of how great the child's needs were and it's a recipe for disaster

This is how I see it as well.

OP posts:
homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:13

@JustAnotherWhinger it isn’t. It’s others who keep replying with torches and pitchforks and I don’t see it that way.

OP posts:
CheeseNPickle3 · 03/04/2026 13:13

From the article it seems that her own house had to be fitted with 6ft fences and electronic locks to stop her escaping so I think it's probable that the childminder setting wasn't suitable and they just weren't equipped to deal with a child with such high needs. A child who is normally at a special school, presumably with a lot of staff suddenly going to a new setting with a childminder who doesn't know her and other children being looked after is unfair all round.

You have a combination of a parent who desparately needs childcare and a childminder who perhaps wasn't aware of how great the child's needs were and it's a recipe for disaster.

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:12

SentFromIpheon · 03/04/2026 13:10

I agree OP. The child minder and other children in her care cannot be held back or made to stay stuck indoors for one other child's needs and that child's parents demands.

The child's mum should have looked for other suitable options if that's the case. You cannot expect the childminder and kids to stay in the house all day everyday the child's in their care.
If the child in question could not handle that, then they shouldn't have been placed there. The mum and dad knows the needs of their child more than the childminder. If the child minder said they cannot stay in doors or day then I don't think the childminders done anything wrong.

I don’t think either of them did anything ‘wrong.’ The mother wasn’t wrong to work and the childminder wasn’t wrong to go out.

There are absolutely things that cold have been done differently but that’s not the same.

OP posts:
JustAnotherWhinger · 03/04/2026 13:11

It’s really disingenuous to start a thread pretending that it’s about the needs of families with disabled children when actually it’s about saying this specific CM didn’t do anything wrong in the death of this child.

A child has died in an incident that should never have happened. The CM should have been very clear with the parents if she wasn’t capable of offering the level of care the child needed. And the outing should have been risk assessed, and then cancelled if it wasn’t safe for all of the children in attendance that day.

glibly saying “the CM told the mum she went out a lot” is ridiculous, and actually offensive. A child is dead because of poor care.

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 13:11

@ThereAreOnlyShadesOfGrey no, I’m not a childminder.

I think it’s a horrible tragedy and largely happened because the childminder just wasn’t an appropriate setting for children with the needs of this little girl. And this obviously wasn’t realised until this awful event had already happened.

I found just reading about it upsetting and I guess I think if there are any positives at all it is that change for disabled children and their families might come about.

OP posts:
SentFromIpheon · 03/04/2026 13:10

QuirkyHorse · 03/04/2026 13:10

The mother used to take Nyla out on reins, such was her flight risk. That alone should have given the childminder a clue as to how vulnerable she was.

Well then sadly Nyla shouldn't have been placed there.

Orangemintcream · 03/04/2026 13:10

A family friend has given an interview and there are some more details in that I think.

If the childminder was asked not to take the child out and she did anyway I would have thought that was negligent but the police have suggested no charges.

The poor mother - having a disabled child but needing to work so making the decision to leave with a childminder and having his happen.

Its disgusting that there are not better options for the parents of disabled children - specialist provisions.

SentFromIpheon · 03/04/2026 13:10

homemadecarrotsoup · 03/04/2026 12:47

It depends on what those instructions are wnd if they were actually given.

I would prefer the thread to stay respectful.

I agree OP. The child minder and other children in her care cannot be held back or made to stay stuck indoors for one other child's needs and that child's parents demands.

The child's mum should have looked for other suitable options if that's the case. You cannot expect the childminder and kids to stay in the house all day everyday the child's in their care.
If the child in question could not handle that, then they shouldn't have been placed there. The mum and dad knows the needs of their child more than the childminder. If the child minder said they cannot stay in doors or day then I don't think the childminders done anything wrong.

QuirkyHorse · 03/04/2026 13:10

The mother used to take Nyla out on reins, such was her flight risk. That alone should have given the childminder a clue as to how vulnerable she was.