AIBU to hope this heartbreaking story is a catalyst for change?

My sons is but they offer it as respite not child care so every school holiday he gets one-day a week
But it could be any day
Im his full time career
But for families where both parents work its very difficult.

This is an absolute tragedy whatever has happened and my heart goes out to Nyla’s family.

We don’t know the details. The police, who presumably do know the details, have indicated they do not think a crime has been committed so perhaps those on the thread baying for the childminder to be prosecuted should take a breath until we know more.

This.

"Didn't know how bad her needs were" means the childminder didn't do an adequate assessment then! It's called incompetence and it absolutely is her fault. The parents haven't lied - saying don't take her out, she's an escape artist and needs to be locked inside, is clear and unambiguous.

The childminder agreed to take on a job knowing she couldn't follow instructions but figured she knew better than the parents how to keep that child safe. Also, since the child was non-verbal, I'd guess she figured the parents would never find out she hadn't followed their instructions. So we can add arrogant and deceptive to incompetent.

The problem is there's no provision for children with SEN for school holidays. This poor child was obviously a really major flight risk and not suitable to be left with a childminder who was looking after other kids and taking them all out. Her mum probably didn't have any other options and the childminder didn't really understand the risk.

“The council even put up a six-foot fence to keep her in her garden and her mum has electronic locks on the house because she kept getting out.”

Its heartbreaking and I have a teenager with similar needs
The reality is that we have never been able to use childminders etc for him his hee needs 1: 1 supervision at all times to keep.him safe
I wouldnt expect a typical childminder to be able or willing to offer that.

These are available
My son goes to a decision needs holiday club and the same club every other Saturday its based in his special school with high perimeter fencing etc
He also hss 4 nights a month in a respite home
The problem is its tsken years to get this level of respite its its area dependent and only usually available for those with the most complex needs.

Maybe the childminder shouldn’t have accepted the engagement, but equally the parents shouldn’t have left a child who needs 1-1 care with someone who obviously wasn’t going to be able to provide it.

You will find child minders won't take children with special needs if this one gets prosecuted. That will not be good for the children or their parents. There isn't always someone to blame, although it makes people feel better to have a villain.

You find a child minder on facebook because you are desperate and you have to have a high fence around your garden to keep her in because she's 'an escape artist' and just runs and runs given a chance and you have special locks on the house to keep her in, but the new child minder who presumably didn't have six foot fences and special door locks or know how much of a flight risk she was, was to blame? It doesn't even say the child minder took her out as far as I saw. I really don't think the parents should have even considered leaving her with an ordinary child minder, probably with several other children to look after.

I have a severely autistic non verbsl teen
I have never been able to leave him with just anyone
Thankfully we do get respite and staff are fully aware of his needs
Its difficult toasty whsts happened here was the child minder looking after other children my son would need 1:1
Its tragic 😥

It's not normal for parents with severely disabled children.

It's word of mouth, parents chatting, asking the school, council recommended (our LA has a vetted list)

How sad .
Im still no the wiser as to what happened to Nyla .
Im not suggesting anyone is to blame but knowing how this happened to Nyla is important as there may be lessons that could help prevent such a tragedy .

Quite.
The babysitter and childminder facebook posts look like the wild west.

Then the childminder should not have accepted the engagement.

Are childminder’s not allowed to decline taking in kids that don’t fit their setting?

Again, a weird take. The child was not foisted on the childminder. Conversations were had.

That is a terrible tragedy.

The point of saying that the childminder isn’t a nanny isn’t a weird take, it’s acknowledging that a childminder was never going to be able to provide the 1-1 care this child needed like a nanny could, nor were they going to be able to follow instructions from one parent when that instruction meant that all the other charges can’t receive normal provision and had to be stuck inside all day.

By that logic is it also 100% the parents fault for every child that dies when they’re under their parents care?

Same. We (well I) don't know the full story but you can just imagine a parent being desperate for childcare and perhaps overlooking whether the childminder was the perfect fit, and a childminder perhaps being used to SEN children with less severe needs and not realising the challenge of caring for a new child.

I agree it's helpful to focus on what SEN parents may need in the holidays, vs this particular case.

You feel so uneasy you thought you'd start a thread on a public internet forum? 🙄

This thread is mawkish and in very poor taste.

Do you have any respect for the parents grieving their child?

It’s a weird take to say that the childminder underestimated the child’s needs and isn’t a nanny.

Are you suggesting that childminder’s are untrained or uneducated about safeguarding? That is quite offensive. Isn’t a huge part of childcare jobs about safeguarding and risk assessment?

I am not here to blame the childminder - not enough information to discuss that.

I am calling you on your lack of empathy for a family who have lost a child and no doubt are wondering how and why this happened. Their grief is foremost in my mind.

My daughter is/was non verbal around this age too. If the childminder agreed not to take the child out then she should not have taken her out without telling the parent first. If I had a call saying ‘I am taking the children to the park’ then I would have gone and collected my dd because it wouldn’t be safe for my dd to go out unless she had 1:1 care.

Being a patently to a disabled child a hard. It’s near impossible to work, especially during school holidays, the government doesn’t give extra money for SEN child care and there are not many SEN child care settings/minders, so we either have to give up working or we risk putting them into childcare that isn’t safe. It gets worse as they get older because there’s no child care at all for older teens because a teen without disabilities would be able to care for themselves. My dd is now 20 and still needs constant supervision. More needs to be out in place to support parents with disabled children that want/have to work.

She trusted the child minder not to take her daughter out. If they couldn’t stick to that then they should have said so her mum could have looked for an alternative arrangement. Most children with SEN’s need 1:1 or even 2:1 to keep them safe, if the child minder had other children to watch then how was she supposed to keep the disabled child safe?

I think the point is that there is a real lack of childcare for children with high needs. The childminder wasn't a suitable place and shouldn't have agreed to take her. None of us know exactly how the conversations went and what information was shared. Maybe the childminder felt ir would be discrimination if she said no? For sure there needs to be suitable wraparound and holiday care for children with high needs and this should be where we direct our energy and campaigns.

I’ve just read the story on the BBC news site.
The childminder was told not to take her out. She was told she was a flight risk and was told that her family use reigns when taking her out.

The childminder chose not to listen to listen and follow the parents instructions. She has to accept some of the responsibility for the child’s death.

And to those judging the parents for “picking a childminder off FB”. How do people find childminders these days? They ask for recommendations from other parents, they can then check the credentials (this one was OFSTED registered). FB was just the resource they used to connect with other parents in a similar situation. It’s completely normal and acceptable.

It was an unrealistic and unreasonable instruction though. There must have been some misunderstanding somewhere because no childminder would knowingly place a child in danger like this.

OP - what is the charge that you think needs to happen?

Changes won't come about as a result of this child's death @homemadecarrotsoup

The provision for SEN children is scarce during holidays. Parents often have little choice. Many don't work, or have term time only jobs, as there is so little appropriate childcare.

The councils/companies don't offer SEN spaces, as they cost too much to staff. The families I work with get a PA budget if they've fought really really hard for it. That way, the family get some childcare 1:1. Often though, this is only up to 10 hours a week.

Caring for a SEN child is expensive. That's the reality.

And finding a suitable childminder with availability for a non verbal 7 year old is hard. Finding them on FB? Probably not the best decision tbh.