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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The more youre kind to ppl the more they think they can treat u like shite.

34 replies

ThatWildHedgehog · 03/04/2026 10:40

Aibu to think that the more youre pleasant to people or generally kind when speaking to them the more they think they can treat u like theyre above you? ...

for example, ive been at a new job for about 8 weeks now, & some of the staff (in higher bands than me) treat me like im invisible. I say hello & I get no answer. I hold a door open for someone & they walk on throught, no thank you. Ask someone to move a box so I can get something off a shelf, they just life it off like a inhuman robot. I gave a girl a compliment saying her perfume smelled lovely cause it did, when I walked into the room its all you could smell, & when I told her she just looked at me like I had 6 heads, didnt even acknowledge what I said ?!? Or say thanks or fa.

Thats just an example of what i mean by the way. 🙈

OP posts:
Itsmetheflamingo · 03/04/2026 10:52

It sounds like you work in an unfriendly place but I don’t understand your thread title as it doesn’t appear you’ve done anything particularly kind either.

most people don’t notice or care about us as much as we’d like to think. It’s easy to get paranoid about how we present or are treated but the usual most obvious answer is they aren’t thinking about you anyway

Onadark · 03/04/2026 10:49

What you describe there seems to be more in tune with politeness as opposed to kindness but in general I agree with you.

It's like the more you do for people the less grateful they are and the less you do for people, the more grateful they are - bizzare!

Ahwelltoobad · 03/04/2026 10:49

Oooh, have I got the movie for you!
Send help, with Rachel McAdams.
Very empowering and dealing with just that, people mistaking kindness for weakness. Saw it yesterday, still on a high!

Tel12 · 03/04/2026 10:48

Well TBH they sound just rude. Carry on with your general good manners.

ThatWildHedgehog · 03/04/2026 10:48

MrsPinkSky · 03/04/2026 10:44

Generally speaking that's not been my experience, no.

The people you mention are rude but they're just some people.

Yeah i agree, alot of people have been lovely so far, but some are completely up their own arse... just having a bad day I think, like alot of us do sometimes 😪

OP posts:
ThatWildHedgehog · 03/04/2026 10:46

Lemons1571 · 03/04/2026 10:42

Let me guess, this is public sector?

Hospital

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 03/04/2026 10:45

Some people do see a kind nature as something to be taken advantage of and exploited. And no it’s not just a public sector thing. Most of the people I worked with were lovely.

MrsPinkSky · 03/04/2026 10:44

Generally speaking that's not been my experience, no.

The people you mention are rude but they're just some people.

Lemons1571 · 03/04/2026 10:42

Let me guess, this is public sector?