Do nursing staff not wash patients anymore or change sheets?

My dh was in hospital last year for a few weeks, as he had a raging infection. We had to wear PPE to go into his room. I was going in to wash him, change him, administer his eye drops, change the bedding, clean the room, encourage him to eat and drink and so on. Things that you may expect HCA'S to do. I didn't mind.

Some patients don't have anyone who can do this for them, and the staff were genuinely busy supporting them. Some patients had security guards at their door, as some people don't cope well with being in hospital for various reasons.

This particular child is 20.

TurnipsAndParsnips - yep that matches my families experiences different wards in same hosiptal very different experiences.

The geriatric wards do seem to be some of the worst though even they vary.

Ive been saying this for years and got a load of abuse for it.
I was a nurse back in the 80s and 90s and used to do all the care.
Im a podiatrist now and tons of people come out with pressure sores from poor care, patients of mine have gone into hospital with a foot dressing Ive put on for a gangrenous ulcer and developed sepsis because nobody has looked at it or changed it while they have been in hospital. I dont work in the hospital. We work in outlying clinics. I could go on but standards are dropping for sure.

I know what you mean I was in hospital with my own child briefly and it’s so stressful . If you are in long term there absolutely should be allowances made for parents to go out and have breaks. But this post implies the staff should just be doing the care all the time which I think the vast majority of children and parents wouldn’t want and would be ridiculous.

When I was hospitalised I was given a pack of giant baby wipe type things to freshen up with. I don’t think they do the kind of hands on bed bath any more, which is a shame. If you ask they will have lots of shampoo caps in a cupboard somewhere and wipes so you can help your Dd to freshen up.

Her daughter hadn’t been bathed. OP did that.

Her daughter has meningitis and is bed bound. How much more in need does she need to be in for you to show up?

@keepswimming38 I'm so sorry to hear how poorly your daughter is. My son had Pneumococcal Meningitis when he was was 15 months old and it was the most terrifying experience of my life.
In your current circumstances I would definitely have expected help & advice from nursing staff on how to maintain your daughter's basic hygiene and comfort.
My son was unconscious for days and just trying to change his nappy around all the wires and machines felt overwhelming and as if I was going to hurt him, or disturb the medical equipment. The fact you're having to do everything for a fully grown adult, who is seriously ill & in a vulnerable position, without any guidance is unacceptable. I think I'd be contacting PALS if the lack of basic care continues.
Thank goodness she has you there to advocate for her and provide support. And to those questioning why a 20 year old isn't advocating for herself, I can only assume you've never had to witness the devastating effect that Meningitis can ravage on the brain & body in a very short period of time.
I sincerely hope your daughter is responding well to treatment and that she's able to come home soon.
I'm case you're not already aware, Meningitis Now is a fantastic charity to help & support you and your daughter during this time and into the future. I believe they have a section on their website about what information to ask for before being discharged. I wish I'd had that information when DS was finally allowed home.
Don't forget to look after yourself too

Not all children in hospital are small babies/toddlers who aren't toilet trained?

Older children in hospital can need personal care too.

In the last few years of her life my Mum spent time in three different wards at the Royal Berks Hospital. The Stroke Ward and the lungs one were absolutely brilliant - she was washed, bed changed, clean gown, ensured water was within reach, offered tea and coffee. The geriatric ward was an absolute disgrace - water out of reach, not offered a bed bath, sheets not changed, buzzers not answered. One woman fell out of her bed and was lying on the floor. I went to find a nurse, who told me that the woman “liked lying on the floor” and they left her there. All the patients were given something to make them sleep every night. My Mum had a locker that wouldn’t lock and had her purse and a silver necklace stolen from there (fortunately only £10 in the purse and no cards). I complained to the nurse in charge, who got aggressive with me. This was all in one hospital, and such differing standards of care.

I was offered a wash while unable to have a shower (drip one side and drain in my lung on the other) but declined - not so decrepit that I’d want anyone washing me! I was given the large, moisturised ‘wet wipes’ they use instead.

Had to ask more than once during the night for bottom sheet to be changed, because of the drenching sweats I was experiencing. HCAs usually did it promptly enough. Luckily I had a dh bringing in plenty of clean dry PJs every day!

Worst thing was being unable to wash my hair - I felt horrible. But one day dh helped me do it with a jug over a basin, phew.

There is a shite load of difference between changing a pre- toilet trained child's nappy and a 20 year old needing personal care.

I was a Nurse for 30 years and patients were always washed . My last 15 years of Nursing was spent in a hospice and we would never stop until all patients were washed. For some in pain or with motor neurone disease this could take hours. I appreciate we were better staffed than many NHS wards though. We even went round on an evening shift and gave them a freshen up before bed ! Like you though if my elderley dad went into our local hospital I honestly would not leave his side.

I don't think it's shocking but it was definitely difficult at times. It meant I often only ate once a day, felt guilty about needing the loo and went without my own shower.

So do you think parents should sit there while the nurse changes the child’s nappy and spoon feeds them ? Seriously ? When your child is in hospital you are still responsible for them you don’t just hand over all your usual parental responsibilities to the nurses and hcas.

Depends on he wards - FIl got it on most wards he was on though he was discharge with a catheter still in late at night with no instructions for ongoing care.

Dad didn't though basic care was often also missing like getting drugs in him at all let alone of time.

Recently with Mum they didn't even get her clothes off her - she was left for three days in clothes she went in - partly due to injury but she was desperate for a wash and change of clothes - I had to help her when home. They did offer to let me or Dsis put as uppository in for her - which none of us wanted including mum.

As a nurse, when I worked in the hospital we assisted patients to wash every day. I work in the community now, I am a nurse manager. We have end of life patients who have multiple daily calls to attend to their hygiene needs. I would speak to the nurse and say she needs help. Not that you should have to. My sister was in hospital a few years ago. She was late 20s. They didn't wash or help her for 5 days. I went in to help her shower in the end. She had been so unwell and had a tampon in since before she was admitted. When she was admitted she had been sedated, so no one was clearly checking her, making sure she was clean and tidy.

The attitude here is what is wrong with society. We show up when people need help and care for our children. The NHS is there to help in times of need, not be at your beck and call.

She is getting the clinical care needed yet OP chose to berate the nursing staff for not bathing someone who has been bathed?

I’ve had several stays in hospital, in Devon, and my mum spent weeks in one in south west London. At both, the beds were changed every day. I thought that was a given.

What a load of shite!

I’m a nurse (admittedly on a paeds ward) and i have zero desire to move to admin! I changed patients sheets myself in the HCA is busy! But if a family member is there 24 hours a day the assumption is they do personal care. However you can ask for help!

admittedly sometimes we are so so short staffed that I go home upset that proper care hasn’t been carried out that shift.

but please don’t tar all nurses with the same brush. We are working in a failing establishment.

How unkind you are.

It is the hospitals employees’ jobs to care for their patients not to assume that family will do their jobs for them.

That sounds awful. I just wonder where your Hospital is? Me. I’ve just spent three weeks in a South London Hospital you get a menu with about 50 choices with subsection for all kinds of dietary requirements care and help with fantastic. Maybe they get more money down here.

An entitlement to be cared for? In a hospital? You don’t think that’s a pretty low bar you’ve set there

It will be because you are there that they aren’t checking. They will have seen you caring for her so they don’t need to do it.

If you need some help caring for her then ask politely. I am not surprised the nurse got snotty with you if you approached them with the same attitude you seem to have here. Nurses and HCA’s are entitled to speak to each other during their shift and also to take breaks. I can guarantee they weren’t just standing around chatting. It is understandable that you are stressed and worried about your DD but no need to take it out on the staff.

I think it depends how much care the individual patient needs. A year ago I spent nine nights on Female Orthopaedic with a broken hip and wrist (the right, my dominant one as luck would have it). Apart from a bed bath the morning after my THR surgery, I was responsible for washing myself. I would request towels, fresh gowns etc. and a nurse would bring a bowl of hot water, fetch my toiletries bag from my locker, and draw the curtains round so I could get on with it.

I had a shower a couple of times during my stay, when DH would help me, pushing me in a wheeled shower chair into the bathroom and helping me undress and dress again etc.

My bedding was changed about every three days, which I think was fine, as I wasn't soiling it, so it didn't need changing every day. Again, I think that would depend on the individual patient's circumstances.

The ward was incredibly busy, and even though I could just about haul myself up the bed and to sitting with my left hand, I was very obviously encouraged to be as independent as possible. The OP's daughter clearly needs a lot more care which doesn't seem to be forthcoming, which is very concerning. Although for years now, spouses or relatives etc. have been encouraged to help provide basic care with washing etc. presumably to take the pressure off already short staffed wards. Personally, I'd rather be helped by DH than a nurse, but other patients need more care from nurses that they're not getting, which is very worrying.