AIBU to wonder whether that kind of romantic love really exists?

31 replies

Sheliatakeabow · 02/04/2026 19:25

I’ve been watching “The Other Bennett Sister” on iPlayer (I throughly recommend it) I’ve always been a big fan of Jane Austen anyway.
However without giving any spoilers away, I found myself uncontrollably sobbing at the end of the final episode (and during others too).

I have realised I don’t think I’ve ever had ‘real’ romantic love, does this actually exist? Men yearning, being vulnerable in expressing their deepest feelings, looking lovingly with tears in their eyes?
I’ve had one relationship in the past that might have been slightly close to this, I thought he was ‘the one’ he was romantic in a way I hadn’t experienced before, but something was lacking in the bedroom department. He then eventually told me after many years that he had an addiction to pornography.

My current DP isn’t at all romantic to be honest.

I just want yearning, unwavering devotion, can’t live without each other, two souls entwined but also quiet affections in love.
I sometimes think it must just be fantasy…

OP posts:

Readytoescape · 02/04/2026 19:56

I think love means different things to different people but life isn’t a film. But I think the more you look maybe the closer you come to finding what you need.

stnvcfo · 02/04/2026 19:39

I believe Mr and Mrs Bennet were a love match, which tells you all you need to know about that kind of carry on.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 02/04/2026 19:38

Never had it. And by my current stage of life, I'm not sorry about that.

Hatty65 · 02/04/2026 19:37

Men yearning, being vulnerable in expressing their deepest feelings, looking lovingly with tears in their eyes?

It might be that I'm Northern and pragmatic, but someone like this would strike me as wet as a bloody lettuce and I couldn't be doing with it. DH is lovely, he's kind hearted, generous and tells me he loves me every day, despite the fact that we are both old and fat now and have been together for donkey's years.

I don't think he's ever looked at me with tears in his eyes, weeping in delight at how wonderful I am, but he will rub my feet every night, carries heavy shopping and has always been there to lean on like a solid rock. He is devoted to me, and I am to him and I'll be bloody devastated if he dies first.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 02/04/2026 19:32

I have this. It took me multiple relationships and pdecades to find it. I class myself as very fortunate as from my and my friends experiences, its rare. I have always had to fight for even the basics in most of my previous relationships and that's been very hard

nogainjustpain · 02/04/2026 19:30

I tend not to believe it. It’s a lie sold to women who think we must all grow up to be ‘saved’ by a man. My partners have done nice things for me but none of them have done the yearning etc. I think that would put me off them anyway 😂

or maybe I’m just bitter and jaded, and lots of MN folk will be along to say how romantic their men are!

Unflip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread