I want the house. AIBU?

If he doesn't WANT to write a will, and WON'T take out life insurance then you absolutely need to ensure the house ownership is set up correctly to protect YOUR share. Over time, he WILL create equity in the house as he is contributing to it, it is only fair that his DC inherit from his share of the equity in your JOINT house.

If he's not prepared to set anything up legally or financially to protect both you and his DC then you need to walk away op.

A decent well-written will is difficult to contest. Intestacy means that ALL his DC will inherit his share of HIS assets, and yes, this could leave you out of a home.

I am 100% certain. That’s what my step siblings have in mind. They perceive themselves to be more in need of.
Despite the fact that it is entirely down to their own life choices that they are in need of
A lifetime sponging off the state followed by gobbling up all my parents hard work
People need legal protection against these types

And for every step parent who honoured their late partner’s wishes, there are a dozen who cut the step kids out and leave the assets to only their own children or family.

It still would have been his home. He could stay in it for life. But your share would already belong to you, to be collected at a later date. That is how you protect your kids from the step parents who will cut them out. There are a thousand threads on this forum you can go and read to see how badly wrong it can go.

You'd have felt pretty differently if he'd left the house to his kids only, which legally he would have been perfectly entitled to do. Luckily your stepdad was kind and decent, but nobody should rely on the actions of another when it comes to how they want to leave their estate.

And that’s lovely that your stepdad implemented your stepmom’s wishes but he was actually under no obligation to do so and could’ve given it all to your siblings and cut you out

To everyone saying the house should go to his DCs: my mum and stepdad had mirror wills. They were much older than you. But when Mum died, her share went first to my stepdad and then was shared amongst the (adult) children when he died. That seemed right to me. It was my stepdad’s home.

Imagine the nice peaceful life you and your baby could have in your flat, op. This guy wants the moon on a stick - it's like he thinks he's doing you a favour by letting uou buy a house for him and his kids.

Op sounds like he puts his ex before you tbh.

I got my first mortgage in 1995 (on my own) and I've never, then or since, by myself or with DH, been required to have life insurance.

You clearly don't like or respect him - so let the poor man go free. Hopefully he'll be as financially generous with your child as he is with his ex

Does your partner realise that he can get a “do it yourself” will for almost nothing from the Post office or Amazon? All he’d need to do is fill in the relevant sections and get someone to witness it. You aren’t required to get lawyers involved to have a will. It might not be as watertight as a solicitor would make it but it’s better than nothing at all.

What’s going to happen when his kid wants swimming lessons, and he thinks it’s a waste so won’t pay? Or gymnastics, football, drama, instrument lessons… birthday party invite so need to buy a gift for the birthday friend? Days out?

You’ve really picked the wrong guy and I see now why the ex is so focused on money. He has probably paid the absolute bare minimum their whole lives, even when they were a couple.

Are you joking he only pays the bills that agrees to otherwise it’s your responsibility and
you where planning on buying a house with someone that childish are you mad??

Op I can’t believe you were ready to give up your money for a guy who won’t pay for something that he doesn’t want. He sounds like a child tbh.

Op you’re doing the right thing protecting your own kids. Don’t waste your money on someone who won’t even get life insurance for his kids he just wants you to get the house then him have equal shares then you could end up being worse off than he is now.

If he won’t take out ANY insurance then in your circumstances you can’t buy with him.

But I can’t see why on earth he’d sacrifice a relationship for that matter of principle?

but if you want to be able to keep the house full stop by taking a sizeable chunk of cash on his death, you’re going to have to pay it or walk away

In the UK the only insurance required by a mortgage company is building insurance. I am a mortgage broker and I get my clients to sign a declaration stating an advised them about insurance and it was their decision not to take it because I think it should be a legal requirement to take it like the buildings insurance

But even if he just covered, say, his half of the house via insurance that is fair?

hes not putting the step children above you is he? As has been pointed out there are legal mechanisms to ensure you can stay in the home??

what you want is increased financial recompense in the event of his death. Rightly or wrongly he doesn’t want to pay for that. This is the disagreement ultimately.

in your position now. Pregnant and with a child to think of, I’d take out insurance paid for by you, to get this. Say 400k to you. The house share to the kids you can then “buy out” with that.

im not sure there’s any other solution?

he doesn’t want to pay a sum of money to enhance your pay out. Money clearly is tight. I sort of get it….. so if you want that level of protection, you’ll have to do it.

You’re still just not listening.

If he took out insurance to cover the house, he still shouldn’t leave it to you. And you shouldn’t leave it to him. You are a blended family so wills need to protect the kids. Which means you leave your half to your kid. He leaves his split between all his kids.

It’s not smart financial planning to leave your asset to your partner because it will be lost in divorce or death later and your kids won’t see a penny from it.

Did you say he is refusing to
pay any of the household bills???