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Original poster

DD aged 10 needs root canal

133 replies

DDtooth · 02/04/2026 17:18

I’m really upset right now and wondering if anyone can advise? My dentist can’t see us till Thursday next week. DD had pain in her upper back tooth and when I looked at tooth I can see a big hole. Called usual dentist and the receptionist who’s very rude and unhelpful said no appointment till next week Thursday. I contacted NHS 111 who gave us an emergency appointment. They couldn’t do much and have put a temporary filling in tooth which should last till I see usual dentist. She told me DD may have to have root canal.

i feel so guilty because I haven’t been strong enough. My MIL gives DD sweets, fizzy drinks and unhealthy stuff every time we see them (2x a week) for first 5 years of her life she would see DD everyday and ply her with unhealthy stuff, even giving her spoonfuls of sugar! Every time I told MIL not to she would scream in my face and start crying (Mil not dd!) and telling her she did this with her kids and they turned out fine. And questioning why I’m like this

DH never once stood up to MIL. We are of a culture where I’m supposed to “respect” MIL and basically just put up with her shit. I’ve limited DD only seeing her once or twice a week max now. MIL has diabetes so you would imagine she would understand how bad sugar is. DH just tells me to stop it and she doesn’t give her anything which is a complete lie and is evident from DD’s teeth. I limit sweets and chocolates in the house and she never has fizzy drinks in our home.

sorry for rant but I have no one I can be this honest with. Is this as bad as I’m thinking? I’ve told DD if grandma offers her unhealthy stuff just to refuse from now on but I know it will be hard for her. I just don’t understand what benefits MIL thinks giving DD all this sugar is.

OP posts:
ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 03/04/2026 00:13

Changename12 · 02/04/2026 20:48

I don’t know if this is still done but when my children had all their second teeth through, the dentist coated them with something that lasts for a few years, to help stop decay. The idea being it lasted while they were in their teens.

Yes, I had this - fissure sealant I think it's called - as a child. It's definitely been helpful.

lemondrivelcake · 02/04/2026 23:44

confusedeffie · 02/04/2026 17:42

You aren’t taking any responsibility for this situation and blaming the MIL and yet she is mainly in your care. The fact that you state she saw your DD every day in the first five years of life is irrelevant because they would have affected her baby teeth?

I doubt eating sweets twice a week would have caused this much damage because you say you enforce good oral hygiene. It’s time to take a look in the mirror!

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This. OP you really need to start parenting better.

Vconcerned1 · 02/04/2026 23:35

ChangePrivacyQuestion · 02/04/2026 17:39

Ok, you do realise sugar isn't the direct cause of cavities, rather it feeds the bacteria that cause it (in particular streptococcus mutans and lactobabacillus), so people who are normally more susceptible to being the carriers of these are more likely to have cavities? Yes, tooth brushing, fluoride toothpastes and keeping oral ph high enough to reduce those bacteria helps - as does avoiding CONSTANT snacking on sugar, but exposure to sugar twice a week at age 5 would not directly lead to cavities. Mumsnet loves to have vapours over it. In this instance, yes, she has a cavity. Yes, she needs to have it treated. But it doesn't mean you're a parental failure because of it nor that you should report MIL to the SS.

This.

Op are you sure that your DD doesn't have hypoplastic first adult molars? I'd be really surprised if an adult molar has decayed that quickly if she brushes twice a day. Look online for pictures of hypoplastic molars - my child had this and I had to get the hypoplastic adult teeth removed when they were 10, as they were so weak.

HollaHolla · 02/04/2026 23:29

I had a root canal at about 19/20, because it was in my very front tooth, after being hit by a flying hockey ball! It essentially 'killed' the nerve, and we did a lot to try and save it.

I do remember the treatment being a bit uncomfortable - largely the injections in the thin part of my gum at the front. It wasn't awful. I did appreciate being able to keep my tooth for as long as possible.

Unfortunately, it got to the end of it's life when I got an abscess in my bone, which we couldn't clear up, in my mid-30s. I now have a fixed bridge, which might be an option for spacing, if the tooth did need to come out.

However, going forward, I'd limit the time spent with your MIL, for a number of reasons you've outlined.

jetlag92 · 02/04/2026 23:25

sometimeseverytime · 02/04/2026 17:48

@Alpacajigsaw but a fizzy drink twice a week shouldn’t be an issue with good oral hygiene and regular check ups, unless there is an underlying condition. Kids get a check up every 6 months or so, so how did a cavity that big develop after 10 years of no issues?

Not for a child. You don't give young children fizzy drinks.

MinecraftMum40 · 02/04/2026 23:24

I’ve had 2 root canals. It didn’t find them too bad at all tbh.

Danfromdownunder · 02/04/2026 23:21

Child Cleary hasn’t been going for her regular dental visits twice a year - is that MILs fault too?

ThisOneLife · 02/04/2026 23:20

fairylightsanon · 02/04/2026 23:05

Of course they can floss at 10, as soon as two teeth touch/contact they should be flossed so you clean in between them

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At 10 most children have spaces between their teeth, (most of which willl still be deciduous) which are self-cleaning and they can also do more harm (damage to the gingivae) than any possible good. Flossing is better left until the dentition is established and the child has the ability to floss properly.

EwwPeople · 02/04/2026 23:17

How often does your daughter see the dentist? Were there any previous issues with this tooth? Are there any other issues with the rest of her teeth?

WearyAuldWumman · 02/04/2026 23:10

DDtooth · 02/04/2026 17:32

DD just told me Mil Gives her a bottle of Lucozade every time she goes there! I don’t go with them as I hate MIL so don’t want to see her

Fizzy drinks are really bad for teeth - the acid wears away the enamel, apparently.

I found out the hard way when there was a sudden deterioration in my teeth when I was in my 20s. My dentist quizzed me about my diet and informed me that the 'One Cal' fizzy drinks that I was taking were causing the problem - he'd noted a deterioration from one 6 month appointment to the next.

Deadleaves77 · 02/04/2026 23:09

For a first permenant molar in a 10yo I would extract providing she has her 7s and 8's. These teeth are likely to migrate forward and close the gap

Ultimately decay can't happen without plaque. Sugar once or twice a week with really good oral hygeine is unlikely to lead to significant decay. This is not just your MILS fault. You need to review both your Dds diet and her brushing, she's 10 10you should have been brushing for her up until this year, and many 10 yos still aren't capable of brushing properly

mjf981 · 02/04/2026 23:06

Your MIL gives her spoonfuls of sugar?!

ThisOneLife · 02/04/2026 23:05

FlyingApple · 02/04/2026 20:02

Cavities are caused by a lack of nutrition. She can have sweets if she's fed everything teeth need as well, and of course brush properly.

This is complete garbage!
Cavities are caused by sugar.
No sugar = no decay.

fairylightsanon · 02/04/2026 23:05

ThisOneLife · 02/04/2026 22:51

10 year olds shouldn’t babe flossing and yiu can’t brush your way out of a poor diet. Sugar causes decay, brushing or not.

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Of course they can floss at 10, as soon as two teeth touch/contact they should be flossed so you clean in between them

Deadleaves77 · 02/04/2026 23:04

Torchout · 02/04/2026 22:27

I've had about 5 root canals. My dentist told me that I have faulty enamel which means a tiny hole in the enamel means a gaping cavity inside

You need to stand up to your MiL, if she cant follow the rules take away he babysitting rights, or is she childcare?

This is the case with every single tooth since we started using fluoride toothpaste

StarryStaryNight · 02/04/2026 23:01

I have had a root canal, the dentist froze me up and I had no pain at all.

ThisOneLife · 02/04/2026 22:58

Bushmillsbabe · 02/04/2026 17:53

Not a dentist, but they don't even get their adult molars until between 8 and 11 years old, so she can't have had this tooth very long I dint think, fir it to get damaged enough to need a root canal. Surely any damage would have been picked up at her 6 monthly check ups and could have been resolved with a filling?

They get the 1st adult molar at 6.

ThisOneLife · 02/04/2026 22:55

sometimeseverytime · 02/04/2026 17:32

People who want healthy teeth? at least twice a day is generally recommended

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Brushing x2 a day is NOT the same as brushing AND flossing SEVERAL times a day!

ThisOneLife · 02/04/2026 22:51

Benjii · 02/04/2026 17:20

You mostly mention your MIL. but, what is her oral hygiene like? Is she properly brushing and flossing her teeth several times a day?

10 year olds shouldn’t babe flossing and yiu can’t brush your way out of a poor diet. Sugar causes decay, brushing or not.

Ineffable23 · 02/04/2026 22:50

fairylightsanon · 02/04/2026 22:48

My dentist does. Floss and interdental brushes every day or as he says - I don’t really care how you do it but clean in between your teeth every evening

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Yes sorry I was just writing to correct myself b- should have said more than once!

Ineffable23 · 02/04/2026 22:49

Quoting myself because that should have said "Even the dentist doesn't suggest flossing more than once a day."

fairylightsanon · 02/04/2026 22:48

Ineffable23 · 02/04/2026 22:36

I think most people brush their teeth twice a day but I don't know anyone who flosses twice a day.

I floss about once a week max and have never had a filling in spite of not going to the dentist for about 8 years as an adult - been recently and my teeth were fine.

Even the dentist doesn't suggest flossing once a day.

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My dentist does. Floss and interdental brushes every day or as he says - I don’t really care how you do it but clean in between your teeth every evening

GenieGenealogy · 02/04/2026 22:38

Are you sure it’s not something like hypo mineralised molars? Where the enamel hasn’t formed properly?

Ineffable23 · 02/04/2026 22:36

sometimeseverytime · 02/04/2026 17:32

People who want healthy teeth? at least twice a day is generally recommended

Show quote history

I think most people brush their teeth twice a day but I don't know anyone who flosses twice a day.

I floss about once a week max and have never had a filling in spite of not going to the dentist for about 8 years as an adult - been recently and my teeth were fine.

Even the dentist doesn't suggest flossing once a day.

Torchout · 02/04/2026 22:27

I've had about 5 root canals. My dentist told me that I have faulty enamel which means a tiny hole in the enamel means a gaping cavity inside

You need to stand up to your MiL, if she cant follow the rules take away he babysitting rights, or is she childcare?