Is this a form of abuse?

Sending hugs sympathy. My ex is rhe father of my children but numerous uears later he is still intense in causing endless issues. It is all carefully below the threshold of police to take it serious. Low level stalking. Reporting me to social services and police, causing issues via school or on social media etc. He will do one strategy for say 6 months then move to something else. It is abusive as us your situation.

This sounds awful, it is definitely abuse, seemingly backed up by the law of the country you are living in. I hope it is resolved as soon as possible and you can get on with your lives.❤

I think it’s coercive control abuse as well as stalking and harassment. However a country that has a legal system that allows any Tom, Dick or Harry to put themselves onto a child’s birth certificate with no DNA proof of paternity doesn’t sound like a country that are going to help a woman in an abusive situation unfortunately. Absolutely shocking.

Oh, you poor thing. What an incredibly stressful and frustrating time for you I feel rage towards this arsehole on your behalf!
Sorry, I haven’t read the full thread, but couldn’t you cut your losses and move back home?
Good luck x

has he ever done something like ancestory dna? If yes, then if your daughter also did this, it would prove very soon he is not related to her.

I think you will need to contest it in court. Especially as it looks as if you are going to court anyway with him looking for visitation rights. Plus is there a time limit on contesting?

Bloody hell, he sounds deranged! And what sort of country allows a man to add themselves to a birth certificate without any proof of being the actual father? I’m not sure I’d want to raise my daughter in a country that gives so much power and control to a man.

Oh and you should use a LLM to advise you while you try to navigate this. Many bad hallucinations for the unwary but it can also give you the upper hand if used carefully. Use it as your guide/advisor

Yes it’s abuse. Yes you should raise awareness of it in the country. You should get your own situation sorted first then go to the press, write a book, talk to every women’s organization there is there.

Good luck. You sound smart and strong. It’s probably meant for you to change this for other women. Get yourself sorted first though. Get yourself and your daughter safe.

if you can, get back to the UK and please get a solicitor. There is so much free legal help for you here

It absolutely is abuse OP. He is trying to control you by demanding access to your child. It’s utterly sick. Can you not take this back to the police as another form of harassment?

You poor woman.
Absolutely horrific.
Yes it is abuse, and coercive abuse too.
Wishing you speedy success.

This is absolutely coercive controlling behaviour. It's absolute madness but I believe it's happening to you.

When it's all sorted yes I do think you should write a book. It would be cathartic and act as closure. Also, it would warn other women of the possibility. And a section on what to do, when and in what order to help anyone else in the same situation. So they don't waste time or money, they can speed up their resolution by learning from your experience.

I wish you the very best of luck because this man is evil.

In the Netherlands it's most certainly not allowed for a man to up and decide to put his name on a birth certificate.

I sympathise completely but my own situation was slightly different. I had both my children abroad. We were not married but he was named on the birth certicates. He got abusive and I wanted to leave and a good friend told me that he could stop me taking the children. I called the local women's refuge and they confirmed that as the children's father he could make a claim to keep them there. They advised me to not alert him to the fact that I was leaving. I waited until he was at work and then got myself and the children on a flight back to the UK before he realised we were gone. Once in the UK I had to apply immediately for a residence order that was granted. It was a very frightening time and although he appealled the order he got nowhere and he was only given very limited supervised access rights (he made the mistake of being abusive to my lawyer in court!).

It is really important that more women are aware that problems can arise if you have children abroad. I hope you manage to sort this out and raise awareness of the issues.

It is abuse, imo. Control.

What an absolutely appalling, despicable man he is. I wish you all the luck.

Frankly.. at this point? No. He is not on the birth certificate and a DNA test would still be required as proof , except it would be even lengthier with a second man involved. The courts wouldn’t just tale his word for it.And then OP would have to possibly contend with another man just adding himself to the BC, and this will have proof.

I wouldn’t publicise your experience about the drawbacks of the country for women unless you move back to the UK. You may have lived half your life in this country but is it the kind of place that will favour a foreign woman over a man born there. Especially given your child is a citizen there and he has a law background and presumably decent funds to pursue his madness. I’d check again if there is a chance you could really be extradited without a dna test that would prove him to be a liar and if unlikely, move back and immediately raise your case with local UK MPs etc.

I meant the stalking and custody battle

You'd need to consult your lawyer before doing this, posting on socials etc as theres always a small chance it could somehow harm your case.