Is this a form of abuse?

This is horrific. You're never going to feel safe there again, you need to get the court case done and run.

Wales is nice and cheap.

This is chilling. if i were you i would be down the police station saying that I’m scared in case my stalker kills me and takes my child.

to answer your question, i think the best term for this is “harassment through the courts”, you can probably find some DV charities talking about it. I just asked Chat GPT about it and it’s usually used for when ex partners drag the mum through the courts making pointless changes to custody arrangements. it is done to drain the other parent’s time and money. Interestingly in UK law there is a terms “vexatious litigation” and in extreme cases, judges require the abusers to get permission before filing anything new.

I wonder if you could start gathering evidence to prove that he knows he isn’t the father so that you can demonstrate to the judge he is a “vexatious litigant”. For example, offering to show him the results of a uk dna test which proves she doesn’t have his ancestry, showing proof of a pregnancy appointment from before you knew him (if possible).

btw just a point on terminology- please don’t refer to your feelings as “paranoia” when talking to the authorities (like you did in a previous post). it implies that the fear you are feeling is irrational or unfounded and that there isn’t a genuine threat. i wouldn’t want you to accidentally undermine yourself by using the wrong words.

I just had a Quick Look on Rightmove. There's a few places coming up in counties that are a bit less well connected to big cities. Places like Norwich, Somerset, Cornwall, Devon. Beautiful counties with friendly little communities in some areas. I put the filters as at least 2 bedrooms, either detached or semi detached house

Oh OP. So sorry you are going through this. Horrendous. What a manipulative abuser. I’m so angry for you. £150k could just about buy you a home in the UK in certain places. E.g I’m in an area where you could just about get a small, 1- 2 bedroom place for £150k. I’m thinking some parts of Wales, north England, Scotland. They wouldn’t be amazing but it is just about possible. Wishing you so much luck. 💐

You could initialy maybe rent an air bnb for a month or so and see if distance helps at all, seek legal advice in the UK. I am not sure where you are and absolutely hate you are going through this for some delusional arsehole but can Claires law only be done on british citizens? He surely has a history of some sort? I would be very worried for your daughter. Is it really you he wants contact with or is she now the attraction? I am sorry to say it that way but its very disturbing.

This sounds like an absolute nightmare for you to live through and I hope that everything works out. I can totally understand why you want to highlight the underlying issues to make others aware. I think I know where you are and I remember being quite shocked when I heard some of this a few years ago. It seems very odd that quite archaic notions of male power can underpin the law in a westernised country.
You might need to do something anonymously though as you might also not want to stir things with this creep up.
I do think that the first person you need to protect from this kind of thing is your daughter as she grows up, bring her back to the UK, it has it’s faults but this is a major issue.

Implantation of the law is a joke - just like U.K. companies house which is a joke 🙄
The law allows this but this man creature has abused it and surely there must be some recourse for you after the paternity claim is settled. It could be abuse as he has done this to abuse you, or lying on an official identity document or the that the man is insane, surely there must be punishment and a way to prevent this man from doing this to others.

Speak to the lawyers about local laws is the start I would say. Maybe even go to the newspapers again get legal advice.

Post-court case, can you see this paranoia and fear continuing still? You might win the court case, but what next? He sounds unhinged but clever. You are right, he knows exactly what he is doing leaving flowers next to your door. To the outside eye it looks harmless, but it is terrifying you. And starting to affect your daughter - it starts off now not being allowed to play in her own garden, when she gets a bit older is she not going to be allowed to friends houses? To walk to the shops without you? To hang out in town without you? I’m beyond angry on your behalf that he is creating this kind of invisible prison for you both. Clearly you will have to move away because this is no life for either of you. Change your names etc. You shouldn’t have to but it looks like that’s the hand you’re being dealt

The police/judge dismissing the harassment, is that according to the laws of the country or personal/institutional bias/sexism? Once you prove he is not the dad, would that count towards harassment/be seen as criminal behaviour?

In your position OP, as much as it pains you, I would return to the U.K., get as much space from this lunatic as possible.

What are you doing about yours and your daughter’s physical safety?
He sounds unhinged, and violence and/or kidnap don’t sound off the table. Are the police at least aware or helping you to protect the two of you?

In the UK, it’s about the intent, the flowers themselves are not problematic. It’s the fact that the flowers are there to intimidate you and remind you of his existence. Somebody needs to make that point to the local police.

I was in a similar position 26 years ago and I didn’t want to leave. I really didn’t. I was very happy in the country that I’d settled with my daughter in but we had no choice.
It was very much a now never a moment so we had to leave to avoid exactly what you’re describing, although in my case he was actually the father but still.
People would be surprised, really surprised in which countries these kinds of laws exist

This is not your fault it is all him.
Don't feel guilty but use your anger to try and get a change in the law when it is all over.
I think I know which country it is too and I think most people will find it unbelievable.

Just read back, ignore my post, you don't (understandably ) want your child's biological father on the bc.

Don’t blame yourself @Chocolatebuttons88 who could ever imagine he would ever go this far or even that it is legal!
What kind of idiotic legal system wouldn’t insist on a DNA test at the very beginning to ensure whether he had any rights over a child? The law in the country you are in seems very misogynistic!
I hope this nightmare ends soon for you or your ex dies soon and leaves lots of money to your daughter :)

I don't have time to read all messages in thread, so excuse me if this has already been suggested; Can you put the name of your child's biological father on he birth certificate retrospectively to displace this stalkers name?