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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who was in the wrong here?

137 replies

EwwPeople · 02/04/2026 12:34

I have my own opinions and bias on this so I’ll try to make this as fair and even as possible .

A while ago , we had a leaving do for a colleague. Early in the evening, with everyone present A did a big speech, lovely, some laughs, everyone clapped at the end , all good. Towards the end of the evening, a lot of people had left already, B also did a shorter speech. Again, some laughs, lovely, claps , all good.

However, A took great offence to this, and the night ended with a row.

The atmosphere is still tense in the office due to all of this.

One side is , that it was incredibly rude /attention seeking to do a second speech. So this would be YABU.

The other side is that it’s not that big of a deal, and even if it was the reaction to it was completely over the top. YANBU

I’m trying to keep this fairly vague so as not to be outing , and also like I originally said to keep things fair and not take sides, but I’m happy to add more context/detail if needed.

OP posts:
Brooklyn70 · 02/04/2026 15:01

this hole thing reminds me of the cringe speeches scene in the movie Bridesmaids

Tillow4ever · 02/04/2026 14:55

A is nuts. When we have leaving dos or calls, anyone that wants to say something does.

Maybe B had pre-prepared a speech, but needed a few drinks in them to get the courage to speak, and weren’t ready when A spoke.

AgnesX · 02/04/2026 14:52

Different people have different relationships in an office so 2 different speeches isn't unreasonable (although a bit overkill); so unless there's history between A and B, people taking sides is ridiculous.

chaosmaker · 02/04/2026 14:45

Are they both men? Why has this spilled into work when it was at a leaving do for someone?

Liveshives · 02/04/2026 14:44

A is an idiot an needs to get a life.

StormGazing · 02/04/2026 14:35

It’s random to have 2 speeches, so B should have just let it go. However if A and B both had management responsibilities of the leaver than A should have asked if B wanted to join into the speech.
if there’s some rage it sounds like a power play TBH

olympicsrock · 02/04/2026 14:35

Wow - one of our colleugues retired this week. As one of the two senior people there, I made a few off the cuff comments to thank and praise her. This as followed a few minutes later by the other senior person in the room who is officially her team boss.
we all smiled and clapped and no egos were bruised . Just two people saying nice things .

I hadn’t even considered any issue and I don’t think anyone else did either . A is being a drama lama

MyMilchick · 02/04/2026 14:34

EwwPeople · 02/04/2026 13:48

If I was B I would’ve said exactly what A said and did when she started on B. That’s would’ve been enough to sway opinions one side, but that’s not what I wanted.

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Ohhh I really want to know this info now 😅

StrippeyFrog · 02/04/2026 14:33

I don’t think it matters how many speeches there are as long as the person leaving appreciated them. A is being an idiot trying to make this event about them.

RollOnSunshine · 02/04/2026 14:32

B did nothing wrong
A is a cry baby

MyMilchick · 02/04/2026 14:32

A is being unreasonable and looks petty holding grudges or making a deal about it

JLou08 · 02/04/2026 14:29

A sounds like they are full of self-importance and always wants to be the one in the limelight. They're pissed off at the thought of having to share some of that light and not be the only one who is praised and remembered for a thoughtful and funny speech. I'd guess A's speech was made for the recognition they'd get rather than any genuine care or respect for the person leaving.

TheMerryGreyMaker · 02/04/2026 14:27

A is being ridiculous. How now for that colleague that two people wanted to say something, must have made them feel good. Unless there is some other backstory, A needs to grow up.

muggart · 02/04/2026 14:22

on the face of it A is overreacting but I bet there is a past history here of B undermining A, and that’s what this is about.

Original poster
EwwPeople · 02/04/2026 14:21

wheresthesnowgone · 02/04/2026 14:17

Did B give a better speech than a? Could that be the reason why a has had their nose put out of joint?

Not necessarily. It was a bit more heartfelt/personal maybe as it had a little anecdote of how they became close?

OP posts:
wheresthesnowgone · 02/04/2026 14:17

Did B give a better speech than a? Could that be the reason why a has had their nose put out of joint?

DysmalRadius · 02/04/2026 14:17

Why would A want to limit the number of people saying nice things about the person leaving? Has anyone asked what the leaving person thought about the two speeches?

Catcatcatcatcat · 02/04/2026 14:15

A is ridiculous

pizzaHeart · 02/04/2026 14:14

Has B said something rude or in about A? If yes, it might be different. If no, depending on the situation and what was said B’s speech could be completely logical to the moment or attention seeking. we don’t know.
However A’s reaction was wrong and inappropriate. B’s maybe was a bit of a twat or drank too much but the best way of action was to ignore/ leave it.
The main question: did the leaving colleague enjoy the party ?
if yes - all good.

Scully01 · 02/04/2026 14:07

This makes me think of Bridesmaids and the speeches scene 😆.

5128gap · 02/04/2026 14:05

I'm at the age where I've lost count of the number of goodbye speeches I've given to staff I can't even remember the nanes of, and times I've been thrust into the limelight as the person required to do the necessary. So personally I'm delighted now when someone else does it. This sort of rivalry and need to be seen as The One Who Does Things tends to wear off with age and experience, and one day both A and B may look back and wonder what on earth they were thinking that this complete non event has assumed such importance.

Coconutter24 · 02/04/2026 13:59

EwwPeople · 02/04/2026 13:41

I’m not sure if there was a conversation about who would give a speech. If there was, I wasn’t asked /part of it, but it’s very possible that some colleagues agreed A would do it on behalf of everyone. The person leaving did jokingly say to B “you owe me a speech” and B replied with “I haven’t had enough to drink yet!” and both laughed during the night. A wasn’t around for that conversation though.

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Did anyone tell A about this conversation or joke? I would of and I’d also tell them to stop being ridiculous

Chelmbob · 02/04/2026 13:57

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 02/04/2026 13:33

Reminds me of the speeches in bridesmaids! 😆

Was just about to the say the same 😅

They should have solved it at the time with a sing off 😂

notatinydancer · 02/04/2026 13:57

Cherrysoup · 02/04/2026 12:42

Who was leaving? If A, then fair play or if A did it about the leaver, also fair. For B to then do another speech, if about the leaver, I'd say B was stepping on toes.

Why ? Is there an official limit to how many speeches can be given at a leaving party?
B can say what they like surely ?

JustAnotherWhinger · 02/04/2026 13:57

EwwPeople · 02/04/2026 13:41

I’m not sure if there was a conversation about who would give a speech. If there was, I wasn’t asked /part of it, but it’s very possible that some colleagues agreed A would do it on behalf of everyone. The person leaving did jokingly say to B “you owe me a speech” and B replied with “I haven’t had enough to drink yet!” and both laughed during the night. A wasn’t around for that conversation though.

Show quote history

That puts a different light on the second speech imo.

A is being ridiculous. Last leaving do I went to there was about 6 speeches through the evening as the lady retiring made such an impact on peoples lives over her 50 years in teaching