Always worried about something

I'll add to my post that I can no longer use a watering can or fill gaps in walls so the worry doesn't even have any point!
No rhyme or reason at that time of the night/early hours.

Thank you for your kind reply to my post. I hope you get some sleep tonight although I know its a difficult cycle to break.

I was diagnosed in 2010. Sixteen years ago now. It's changed my life beyond recognition. I've always been a night time worrier. .
I'd say that the level is the same as before the illness

Yet last night I'm worrying about a watering can that I can't find and wether expanding foam is better than filler for a small gap around the window frame! Is the lawn alright in the back garden. Also am I fat. Also hair problems..and so on.

Best wishes to all the worried and awake.

Thanks for your nice reply. I was actually thinking about you overnight, and wanted to add something.

I wanted to point out that I wasn't in any way minimizing your worries. All the things you mentioned are valid things to worry about. I worry about them, too. All sensible people should! But ideally, our worries should spur us to learn more, maybe to take action - but not to interfere with our mental well-being.

I, too, often have some news "consumption" at night. But perhaps you should stay away from sites with melodramatic click-bait and stick to solid news. For me, I tend to watch snarky news comedy that mocks politics. And when I go to bed, instead of worrying, I'm more likely to spin elaborate fantasies of how I'd fix things, how I'd allocate money to fix the world.

Anyway, I'd avoid anyone suggesting medication, because there's nothing wrong with you. I just think a good counselor/therapist might help you deal with the worries and "self-soothe."

Good luck.

@Worry4Worry I would recommend trying "worry time" https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/self-help-cbt-techniques/tackling-your-worries/

Basically, you reserve time for focused worrying, just a short session per day, which frees you up the rest of the time to notice a worry, write it down, and consciously choose to worry about it later.

Worrying went overdrive with me, it was awful, I was absolutely consumed by it, but worry time really freed me up so that I don't have to constantly fuel the worry monster.

Hey, didn’t want to read and run! I don’t say this in a dismissive ‘oh you sound a bit OCD’ way but I genuinely think you may need to explore the possibility you have OCD. I have it, and a lot of the things you are saying are very relatable/ similar to me. I was medicated for it but have gradually become medication free, but I do regularly see a therapist. I have horrific OCD flare ups where I genuinely feel paralysed by fear and indecision, but then I also have great stretches where it’s under control. Working closely with a therapist and CBT have really helped me with learning coping mechanisms when the flare ups are bad. The first step would be contacting your GP. Good luck, it’s hard and life can feel so heavy because of thoughts like these, but you are strong x

Very much what @Catza said.

Worry is a completely pointless mental habit. Also, it doesn't deal with what is, it deals with what might be - so equally, and in fact usually more likely, it might never happen.

Consider (whatever it is). Can you do anything constructive about it? Great, do that. (And now stop worrying.)

Can you not do anything constructive about it? Ok, then stop worrying about it because that is achieving nothing other than diminishing your mental health, giving you less capacity to deal with things you can influence, making you less available for the good things in your life, and impeding your positive connections with loved ones around you.
Worrying has a real negative cost to your life.

And if you have trouble stopping worrying, CBT and meditation can be helpful in learning to detach from and not believe your thoughts.

This sounds pretty tough @Worry4Worry . In your position I’d talk to a GP or show them what you’ve posted here.

I’m prone to anxiety and what has helped is the realisation that life is uncertain and ultimately quite dangerous, we can lose things we hold dear, illness can strike - and worrying doesn’t change this. But, we all have immense strength and coping skills. These are our inner resources, which we draw on when we need them. It might help a bit to have a good think about your own strengths and resources, I bet you have a lot if you’re living with that constant worry.

Also Agree with PPs that you’d be better off without the wine. Try no alcohol for a couple of weeks and see how you feel.

All those things are common things to worry about.

It's hard not to worry, human brains are programmed to look for risk.

But worrying to that extent isn't healthy, and it can be improved. You could start with self-care, or start with the GP. Either way, it will take a bit of time for the worry to recede but it can be done.

Meditation, yoga, exercise, healthy eating, cutting alcohol, reducing stressful media - all these things help.

Put into ChatGPT does wine cause anxiety.

OP, I was like this and really turned it around. I honestly hit rock bottom and thought if I don't sort this out I will spend the next half of my life miserable.

If this sounds harsh or impossible it is honestly not my intention. You asked for ideas and these are mine. If I can do it you can I promise.

You asked "Where is the line between worrying too much and being naïve or blasé?" Well initially you have to make the decision to worry about NOTHING. Really NOTHING, because at the moment you don't know the difference.

Stop all your exposure to worry.
Do not watch the news. Keep off of TikTok. Promise yourself you'll do this for one full month and see what happens. What will happen is that things you would have wasted days worrying about will come and go without you ever knowing about them. Your keeping abreast of world news and worrying about it makes no difference. You will save yourself hours.

Use those hours to do something productive. Dig your garden, join a gym, decorate your back bedroom. Be active, occupied and focus. If you start to worry about anything focus on your project.

Allow yourself 15 minutes a day to Sit and Worry. Set a timer.
Sit at the table and write all your worries on the left hand page of a book. Against them on the right hand page write what you can do Right Now to remedy the worry. If you can do something DO IT. If you can't - cross that worry out and move on.
When the timer goes off, tear the page out, rip it up and put it in the bin. Get up and get on.

No screens in the evening. Read a good book, paint, knit. Anything but screens.

I recommend the book Devorgilla Days. It's about a woman who loses everything and makes her life wonderful through relaxing and keeping busy. It's inspirational and restful. It helped me change my life.

Give up alcohol altogether. This will make more difference than any of the above. It breeds anxiety. If you go two weeks without touching alcohol you will not believe how much better you feel. I promise that. You'll feel so good you don't want to bust it by drinking again.

Just eat three normal, healthy meals a day God damn it.

Make planning, buying, preparing, eating and cleaning up after your meals a project for yourself. If you can't do it on your own join a healthy slimming group of some sort. Slimming World isn't for everyone but it worked for me. It gave me a structure and balance and made me eat more fruit, veg, drink water, more honest plain food.....all good stuff. I lost over three stone and knew everything I put in my mouth was doing me good. Buy your veg from a veg shop, your meat from a butcher that can tell you the farm it came from. Or give up meat. Keep it as close to unprocessed as you can but DO NOT SWEAT IT. Some UPF are just simply not going to kill you. Believe that.

If you can't sleep - get up. Drink a herbal tea and make a meal plan, read 10 pages of your book and go back to bed. If you still can't sleep go on a walk in your head. Notice everything lovely on that walk. Do not allow yourself to worry. Be determined.

If you feel a worry coming over you - feel it - then let it float by you again. Say in your head or out loud All Will Be Well. Get up and get on.

Tell your DH what you're doing and ask for his support. Not talking to him and keeping it to yourself is not serving you.

Don't do anything that doesn't serve you well.

You can turn this around starting today.
Do it for a month. If it doesn't work (If you do everything above it will work) then get help because if you don't then when will you change? Will your life always be like this.

All will be well.

You need some help. If worrying about all this stuff is making you have very little sleep go to your GP.

Because alcohol causes chemical changes in your brain it relaxes you in the moment but once the alcohol leaves your system the disruptions in your brain can lead to negative thoughts and feelings

@Worry4Worry lay-off the wine.

Worries are not real they are thoughts on your head that are not currently happening and are often perceived things you feel you can’t change or control.
CBT can help help you understand your thoughts better and learn to separate yourself from them.

Meditation can help you live alongside your thoughts without getting drawn into them. Managing your sm, your sleep, diet, exercise, social time, life stresses can all help you feel better in yourself.
Worrying is habit forming the only way to overcome it is to retrain the brain think differently and to accept that thoughts come and go and often make no difference to the choices you make and the things you do.

So you are worried about everything but have Botox injections? You do know what Botox is?

The line is wher simply acknowledging risk becomes rumination and anxiety. Petrol prices went up, I looked at my finances. Can I afford it right this minute? Yes. Do I know what will happen in the future? No. So there is no need to worry right now because I can afford petrol right now.

I found a lump in my breast last month. Fact - I have a lump in my breast. Do I know it is cancer? No. What do I need to do to find out - book a GP appointment and go to a breast clinic. Will stressing help me to find out the answer? No. Will stressing cure me from cancer? Also no. Ergo, there is no point in stressing until investigations are carried out. Investigations showed a cyst so the approach was exactly correct.

So always think - information as it is right now + appropriate action. That's all. That is your line.

Information - you ate a banana. Banana has 89 calories per 100g. To gain 1lb of fat, you need to consume 39 bananas. What's the action here? None because it is humanly impossible to get fat from eating one banana.