AIBU to stop singing around my family after their comments?

I think they're all being horrible.
And I don't get the people on here saying just sing in the shower from now on, or that it's annoying when people sing around the house. What a bunch of miseries.
You do need to tell them you're hurt, though, rather than just wait for them to notice.

I hope you go all Brünnhilde in the shower.

I am a former opera singer so you can imagine how teens like that! They know better than to say a word but if they ever expected me not to randomlly burst into song they could all fuck off to fuck.

Nothing wrong with being petty.

They took the opportunity to pile on with insults rather than speak to you kindly about reining it in a bit.

Fuck ‘em.

Singing in the way you describe is actually a vocal stim. It releases tension in your body.

Intertesting.

MIL hums and sings randomly - it annoyes the fuck out of me with my sensory issues - I tolerate it or go and do something in another room. My DD has verbal nosies poping noises and such which also drive me batty she says it part of her ADHD - I try and do similar with her even when it setting me off.

I remember singing a nursury rhyme to my pfb - my Mum was scathing about my voice and made many little digs. I still sang at groups and when alone with kids but never felt like doing it again in front of her - though did do happy birthday to kids in front of her.

Have they tried to gently ask you to reduce/stop the singing in the past?

Like others on this thread it would absolutely do my head in if I lived or worked with someone who sang a lot, especially when it was just randomly and with no music. Singing along to the radio is one thing, randomly singing when there is no music and you are singing about what you are doing is just odd sometimes.

I like a quiet home. Someone interrupting my peace with pointless singing would really stress me out. My best friend on the other hand would probably love it as he doesn’t cope well with silence.

If your family have previously ask you to stop/reduce it (and it sounds like your children have at least done this) then they may think the only way they can get you to stop is to say your voice isn’t very good, even if that is untrue as they haven’t had any luck doing it in a nice way.

I would totally ignore what they have said and up the singing even more.

Its irritating to other people though.
I prefer peace and quiet, its not joyful to have someone belting out songs all the time, its annoying and selfish.
I love the sound of birds
Unless you are in fact a robin STFU !

Singing in the way you describe is actually a vocal stim. It releases tension in your body. My dd doesn't especially like it when I sing but I've told her quite clearly that's it's my house and I will not mask within its walls. I do try and rein it in at work and in public though. I absolutely belt it out in the car to try and get ahead of myself.

Was also frequently told to shut up at school, and that I couldn't sing. Funnily enough by people who didn't even take music GCSE and were looking for any excuse to put others down.

DH has a pretty good voice. I love doing karaoke with him, but if he was randomly bursting into song through the day I would rip my hair out. Save it for the karaoke booth op.

Sing in the shower or when you are by yourself. It would drive me mad if people were constantly singing around me - good voice or not.

Sounds like you’ve been getting on their nerves. Rein it in a bit but don’t be petulant about singing happy birthday.

I find this incredibly sad as you enjoy singing.

No one in my family can sing but I hear both my sons sing along to their favourite songs when they have their Spotify on in the shower.
Their singing is awful but it doesn't matter because it makes them happy. It makes me smile because they are happy!
Its a shame your family won't encourage
you to do what you enjoy.

There's a big difference between humming or singing a jolly ditty to yourself and singing with full gusto as though you are at the Royal Albert Hall. If you do the latter, then that's obviously annoying for people.

And singing in public is just UNHINGED if you mean in the meat aisle at Waitrose, rather than in a community choir.

(I say this as a everyday wittering-to-myself singer myself!)

😂Really?? Surely you can forgive your mum a bit of a sing song when she's doing the washing up 😂

We’ve all seen it on talent shows , the ones convinced they have that certain quality, the ones convinced they can sing (because they used to be in a choir), but who in reality, can’t actually sing. Is it possible that you aren’t hearing what other people hear? I mean I know the resident man haters will all say your husband is wrong just because he’s male, but what if you actually can’t sing but just don’t realise it? After all your children also think the same thing. Are they only saying this because they are not female either?

YANBU because the comments your DH made are really fucking rude. I sing a lot at home, I think my voice is okay but it’s certainly not outstanding, and my DD often tells me my singing is “annoying”, and I get that. I get that some people want quiet at times, or they may not like the song, or whatever. But to make personal comments like “your voice is terrible” and “your singing should be best kept for when you are alone” is on another level. It’s downright rude and hurtful.

I think their delivery of the information was very unkind and it all depends on how often you sing. If it was multiple times a day and at a loud volume, I can see how that would be annoying. But if it’s just on odd occasions I think they need to keep their opinions to themselves or stick some headphones on. If my husband and kids said this to me I’d double down on the petty and sing multiple times a day and loudly. I have AUDHD so I am constantly triggered by word associations, and sing a few sentences of a song or whatever, but my kids are all same as me, so it’s just normal to them. I play music and sing when I’m cooking and cleaning or even just to hang washing out. How would they like it if you started telling them all the annoying things they did and making it awkward. Don’t let anyone dull your shine. 🎤🎶🎤

Id say this is a gentle pile on gang up on mum !!
I would ignore and dont take it personally and carry on lol my lot do this to me all the time it's mainly kinda jokes and ganging up but it's not in any way malicious!
Another week we will do it to DH and so on !!! And the singing one I have had and whistling 😗 lol 😁 and I am terrible out of tune singer I do it when I'm running on treadmill with headphones in !!!
I don't take any notice 😁 xxxx

I suspect it’s the kids who are embarrassed by it, and your DH just took one for the team in asking you to stop. He then unfortunately went a bit too far to emphasise they were serious in wanting you to stop.

Singing in private is one thing, but if you do sing in public, it can come off as being a little unhinged. That will embarrass teens at the very least.
Maybe just rein it in a little.

I’m sorry they were so blunt OP. That can’t be nice at all and they should have been more considerate.

Im a bit on the fence as, whilst it sounds like they worded it badly, I can imagine that someone forever singing would be annoying. They might just want a bit of blessed silence occasionally in the home.

So I agree you should be allowed to relax in your own home, but equally if they never get a bit of quiet it could get a bit grating. It’s a bit dominating of the space I guess.

Wow, your husband sounds unkind. I'm so sorry OP, singing is one of the most fun and amazing ways to express your happiness or just create a tune because you feel like doing so. There was absolutely no reason to be this cruel about you singing!

I have work colleagues who sing all the time. I find it really hard to concentrate when they do this. Nothing to do with them being good or not, just having someone constantly making noise around you can be quite overwhelming. It’s like people who do all their calls on speakerphone or watch loud videos - the noise is just so irritating because it interrupts my thought process and I can’t focus.

It was horrible how they all spoke to you but please don’t take it to mean your singing is bad! Enjoy singing but just keep it for the times when you’re alone.

I think the people who say the OP should have her voice independently assessed are missing the point a bit.

I’ve read through the thread and then reread the OP’s posts. She doesn’t say that she sings constantly, she something sings along with the radio and joins in with the singing at church. She sings when she is happy.

There’s a Times columnist who once wrote that there were boys who would find a shining girl and say quiet things to her that only she could hear until all the joy had left her heart. This is what the OP’s family have done. Being told that you should never sing is a terrible thing.

But even with singing lessons or a good voice - which I'm sure OP actually already has - it's still really annoying when people sing at volume around you under the guise of just singing to themselves.

It's hard to describe but I have a friend who enjoys singing and her voice is very nice, but she will sing 'to herself' way more loudly than others would - not belting it out, but just loud enough that it catches attention and it's obvious others can hear.

Nobody really wants to hear others singing randomly through the day, no matter how good they are.