AIBU to stop singing around my family after their comments?

This.
Your husband needs some blunt feedback himself.
He's a nasty hurtful arsehole at times and it definitely impacts how you feel about him. He really needs to keep his nasty hurtful opinions to himself.

Twat.

I have come across people who when challenged about their behaviour respond with "just saying it like it is"or "thats just the way I am"

I have found responding with "fair enough, I am just choosing to not be around it", extremely effective.

Absolutely agree with this. Op, if you can, get an objective opinion. Ignore the teenagers, they tend t shrivel if someone does anything at all individual or attention drawing.

Why? Someone singing is a happy thing.

Why? Someone singing, as long as they aren't singing out of tune really badly or the same lines over and over is a joyous thing. My ExDP has a good singer, loved it when he sang.

My mother used to sing around the house and more recently a neighbour in her garden, both really irritated me. Only now in later life do I realise that I'm not just a miserable person but also suffer from misophonia!
You might have a lovely voice, so please don't let this upset you, but maybe bear in mind your family could have problems with all sorts of sounds.

It's totally appropriate to ignore kids saying ordinary things like singing, wearing jeans or smiling at people are cringe. Real adults don't give a hoot about that. You just sound a bit mean. I hope your niece has some nicer relatives, because you are awful.

I have a niece who has quite a lovely singing voice but it is so uncomfortable when she just starts singing out of the blue for no reason! The kids would call it "cringe". Sorry.

I have a niece who has quite a lovely singing voice but it is so uncomfortable when she just starts singing out of the blue for no reason! The kids would call it "cringe". Sorry.

I have a niece who has quite a lovely singing voice but it is so uncomfortable when she just starts singing out of the blue for no reason! The kids would call it "cringe". Sorry.

People saying "join a choir" - you know choir members are expected to practise between meetups, and learn the songs?

I sing even more than before since I joined a choir, and it makes me happy... but I'll feel very self-conscious about singing in the house after reading this thread... and probably won't do it so much

I’m 100% behind the suggestion that you join a choir, OP. I persuaded my partner to join a Male Voice Choir as he did so little just for himself. A couple of years later, what with weekly choir practice, choir committee meetings, choir concerts and competitions, extra pre-concert and -competition practice sessions and choir socials, he’s out and about all the time, enjoying singing and socialising with a lovely group of friends. What a pity if your miserable family had to get used to having you around far less as you took your singing out of their earshot!

Could he feel threatened? I wouldn't worry about the kids because they generally think their parents are rubbish at everything.

I'm not a bad singer either - maybe similar to you (even have a few YouTube videos!). My exH never complimented me but just one time he blurted out "God you're such a good singer!". Just that one time in 18 years. I was amazed because he never complimented me on anything except my looks. After that, he took back the compliment and said that I was ok but kind of like an X factor contestant before they'd had any training. Maybe he's just an arsehole like my exH.

I sing a lot, indoors, but I’m realistic enough to know that my singing could clear a room. 😂😂

Mine too, it drives me nuts. It’s snatches of songs, tv theme songs. I think he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it because he’s always surprised at being told to shut up. He does have quite a nice voice - can hold a tune and I’ve suggested he joins the village choir but he won’t.
OP, do you know just how much singing out loud you actually do? It may not be the quality of your voice as such, but more that it seems incessant to people around you.
You would be VBU to refuse to sing happy birthday though (unless you’re particularly loud and trilling, in which case STFU 😂).

I don't think your voice is the problem here.

Funnily enough my ex (who actually was an awful singer) said almost exactly the same thing to me many years ago. I silenced myself for a week or two but I love to sing and carried on after that. Years later, he admitted he'd only said it to be nasty. He's an ex now, but all the years in which he criticised and silenced me in other ways definitely taught our kids that it was OK to belittle me.

You say he's loving and supportive in other ways, but I would think about the effect on your children of hearing their father criticise their mother and get away with it. I think clearly stating (to all) how unimpressed you are with what he said would be better than just slinking off never to sing again.

Sounds like she is harming the MH of her family members, its utterly infuriating when people just wont shut up, like mental overload.

She’s not harming anyone with her voice.

Obviously she is. Unwanted noise can be very distressing, especially if it is persistent.

It is evident from OP's post and this thread that a lot of people don't like random singing, so it's reasonable to take account of that and not be surprised or hurt when her family snap and tell it like it is. It sounds like they put up with a lot before finally snapping.

Further, she is now punishing them with passive-agressive behaviour, causing them to question what is wrong with her.

The thing about not singing "Happy Birthday" to her husband is further evidence that - rather than taking on board the fact that they don't enjoy listening to her singing - she wants to punish her family rather than be considerate of their feelings.

Maybe a need to modify behaviour on holiday but not in her own home.

I agree, but only for people who live alone.

OP doesn't live alone. Her husband and sons have the right to live comfortably and enjoy their home too. When you live with other people you have to be considerate if you want to live in harmony. OP seems to think only what she wants is important.

You should tell them that what they said hurt you. Be honest that you've stopped singing because of what they said. They need to know that.

I know that I'm not the world's best singer but I enjoy it, I'm in a choir and I'll sing in the car. I have a family member who whistles little tunes all the time and I love it. It's whimsical, it's joyful, it's silly and we need more of all that in our lives.

I think it's your sulky, passive aggressive, childish behaviour that is making them wonder if you're alright tbh. I don't think they're going to be gutted if you don't sing happy birthday either unless they're 5 years old or something. Honestly.

I don’t think you can compare a lady who loves to sing with Huw Edwards. She’s not harming anyone with her voice.

Maybe a need to modify behaviour on holiday but not in her own home.

This would drive me crazy. It can be intensely irritating, and also the people around you probably don’t share your musical taste.
And, in my experience, people who do this generally overestimate their vocal ability.

Is the world actually divided into two groups?! The “sing your heart out sod them’crowd and the stfu I would like some peace camp. Maybe which you are should be established at the dating stage and decisions taken accordingly?

Dh made it clear from the start singing and humming annoys him so I sing in my head. I also tell him if what he does is annoying so he does not do it.

My dad used to sing and hum and whistle as he pottered about. I grew up with it and I loved it.
I sing a lot when I'm alone.
If I sing when other people are about it's almost a stim - I do it when I'm nervous.

OP, sing as much as you like. Sod them. Life's too damn short anyway.

Well obviously the presents would be the most important thing 😂
I think it would be a bit weird to have a cake with candles presented to you in silence though

Please do not do this. Singing is good for your soul. Teach your kids that it doesn't matter. Tell your family to piss off. I'm serious, tell them clearly that they are selfish and unkind to try to stop you doing something you enjoy. You're not entering X Factor.

My nasty father put down my singing when I was a teenager. He humiliated me and made me terrified to sing in public. I didn't sing so much as happy birthday in company for over three decades. Even the thought of it would turn me into a panicked tearful mess.

I would listen on enviously when other people would break into song - I'd even feel more jealous of the ones who were flat but didn't care.

I now have a husband and children who adore me and don't seem to find my out of tune singing offensive, perhaps even charming. I won't be wrestling for the mic at karaoke anytime soon but I no longer run out of the room when the birthday cake and candles appear.