AIBU to stop singing around my family after their comments?

YANBU for being hurt and feeing this way but don’t stop singing!! I love singing (can carry a tune but no superstar) and sing all the time. My daughter finds it embarrassing when I do it in public (without even thinking about it) - but definitely don’t stop singing at home!!! And join a choir that welcomes everyone!

That's awful. Just, why...why are so many men so vindictive and cruel to their wives. Just stamping out any little spark of happiness they might have. Ugh.

I think our voices often sound different to others than they do to ourselves. I fully admit that I couldn’t carry a tune in a wheelbarrow so only ever sing when I’m alone and I don’t feel that I or the world miss out on anything and I find it a bit cringey when others sing out loud, probably due to my own shyness due to lack of talent!

It sounds as though you might have been annoying your family without realising it. Are you a bit of an over singer following your time in the choir perhaps? It is hurtful to hear regardless. I often feel quite embarrassed when someone close points out something personal in that way so I understand that you might be smarting a bit. But chances are they have all been thinking it for a while and just didn’t want to tell you so I’d take them at their word in that they don’t like to hear you.

Does it make you happy to sing as in will your life feel duller for not breaking into song around the family anymore or do you feel as if it’s a sacrifice you can make?

They are all being cruel. Join a choir and sing away without them listening

Ah op I’d be really hurt by that. I can’t imagine saying something like that to any of my family.

Is it a realistic option for you to join a choir because it sounds like this might be a very important outlet that you need?

Your voice is probably fine, but that doesn’t mean other people want to listen to it on a regular basis.

it isn’t about how good the voice is, it’s about appropriate times to sing when other people are around.

I would never sing in front of them again, sod them. When you are dead and gone they can reflect on their nastiness.

I don't know if this would make you feel better or worse op, I'm self-learning a musical instrument at the moment, and I'm somewhere between grade 1 and 2 in ability. I pick it up whenever I have a spare moment at home. All my family have said they love the "toot toot tooting" and ask for Scarborough fair and god save the king etc even though objectively I definitely, definitely sound awful, no maybe about that. The point is that they like it when Mummy is happy.

So don't worry about sounding objectively horrid. Subconsciously your kids will just hear it as "Mummy is happy".

Your dh on the other hand can jog on.

My husband whistles when he’s happy. I find it painfully irritating. We should all be considerate in shared spaces. And you should of course sing happy birthday

You're being a bit childish. Surely you can see that it's quite irritating having someone singing around the house? It would drive me potty. But to throw your toys out and refuse to sing ever again is pathetic. You're also setting yourself up for a fall - they might be quite pleased!

I used to sing in a choir. The choir leader used to say that it was common that women got into singing after getting divorced or being widowed, and they would say they hadn't sung much because their husbands had told them they were terrible singers. But they weren't terrible singers, they were okay or even good singers.

Why do men tell their wives they are terrible singers when they aren't? Who knows.

I love hearing my son singing to himself around the house. It tells me he's happy and relaxed.

I think it would serve them right if they never heard you sing again.

Or find a choir that suits you and enjoy singing.

Consequences need to be explained and in context to be useful. It's better to explain "Your mean comments have made me feel self-concious in my own home, where I am supposed to be myself and feel at my most relaxed. I am now self-concious about singing in front of other people, even singing happy birthday. That's the effect your words have had on me. So if you notice me not joining in, that's why"

Maybe your singing voice is genuinely bad. It would be a nightmare to have to tolerate that daily. Have an independent assessment made, you could simply ask for a real opinion from a singing instructor, might have to pay for it. Worth it though since this is such a huge deal to you.

If an independent assessment says your voice is ok, quite pleasant, then perhaps they are sick of you attention seeking through singing.

Or perhaps they are just being shitty to you, sometimes mothers are scapegoated and talked down to and teenagers can be brats to their mothers for no good reson.

Without knowing how you really sound and knowing the reality of how much you do this, it's impossible to say.

I'd ignore the lot of them. Such misery mongers.
I'm sure your singing is fine - it's just teens being teens and DH being awkward.
Keep singing - it's good for you.

I think they could have worded it better. However good someone’s voice is, it’s so annoying to hear them singing all the time especially if you’re listening to the radio or have music on.
I would still sing but not when they are in the room except for obvious singing together things like a birthday song or when you’re all having a laugh and singing a song together. Why don’t you join a choir so you can sing your heart out in an environment that’s made for it.

They sound like fun sponges I'm sure there's a little quirks and things they do that you don't like but you're not constantly bringing it up cuz you don't want to hurt their feelings

My husband is always singing and I find it really annoying. I don't know why, and I love him lots, but it drives me and my 15 year old insane. It's just really irritating. Maybe this is how your family feel? Don't stop singing happy birthday, that seems petty. Just rein it in around them as they obviously find it annoying too. I wouldn't take it personally though if they are otherwise loving and kind.

Are you sure it's they've not just reached the end of their patience with your singing all the time? Just how much were you actually singing and how loudly?

I think you need to tell them how hurt you feel - @JeepersItsTheKraken's response is spot on.

I think your DH was unkind and I too am old be hurt. But I think your reaction - to never sing again, even to sing happy birthday to your family, is an attempt to get back at your family and is petty. So I think YABU.

I would be singing non stop. Particularly in public.

I'd probably find it irritating if my husband sang randomly throughout the day. It sounds like you think your voice is good but that others don't agree.

But the not ever singing again to the point of making a statement about not even singing hapoy birthday sounds super childish.

Can you ask someone else for an honest and objective opinion? Then you’ll know if he’s exaggerating since this is clearly making you feel pretty unsettled because you aren’t sure whether to believe him. Look, if your voice is bad it’s not the end of the world - loads of people sing along to things without being great. Nobody knows how you thought you sounded in your head. Just pretend you were having a bit of fun.

This would drive me up the wall someone could be the best singer in the world but doesnt stop random singing being annoying, sure you may want to do it but it does actually affect others so why do you assume anyone else wants to hear it