AIBU to stop singing around my family after their comments?

I think all of the ‘you have a right to sing’ responses ignore that fact that other family members have a ‘right’ to peace in their home. You are telling her to get on and sing with no idea how much she does it. They might have been driven mad for years by relentless warbling.

It doesn't matter how good your voice is, singing randomly throughout the day is annoying to most people. My mum did this all the time when I was a kid. It was good that she was happy but it was still like nails on chalkboard when I just wanted to listen to the music she was singing to or hear my own thoughts in silence.

Definitely join a choir, then you'll know for sure. Sing when alone. Sing while doing the jobs you dislike - if they don't like it, they can do those jobs!

Why dont you join a choir. Seriously. You'll be with others who like singing. And just forget about the singing at home. They probably found it annoying.

As a singing teacher, I have taught many an adult with perfectly adequate voices who have been told they can’t sing etc. and it has stuck with them for life. This is so unfair of your family - if you want to sing, sing!

This is absolutely the right way to deal with this op. Tell your family how this has made you feel. Their comments have taken away your joy in something. Maybe your singing is a a bit irritating to them but there are ways of saying things and living together means compromise. You should be able to sing sometimes and they can sometimes ask you to stop if it is really bothering them but saying you have a terrible voice is just unpleasant.

I sing in a choir although my voice really not great in terms of tone. I dont sing loads around the house though I do sometimes, especially when practicing before a performance and DS does complain but DH says my voice has improved over the years and never complains. He has a nice singing voice naturally though

I dont let DS put me off, although he never says I sound terrible just asks me to.atop politely, which I always do and in fact I try to practice outside of the house, sitting in the car nowadays so as not to disturb him if he is home when I need to practice.

I would however be incredibly hurt if DH and DS together told me I sounded terrible and to never sing in their presence again. Singing is one of the very few things in life that brings me real joy and I'd be really upset to have to give it up or to not be able to do it in my own home ever again.

Fuck’em OP. I have a shit voice but like you can carry a tune- I love singing and no one can stop me. You carry on doing what makes you happy.

If you sing at all times, that’s really annoying. Can you not see that? Even little ditties…. You might have the best voice in the world but someone constantly chiming in with little tunes is so irritating.

On the positive side, it sounds like they have actually been quite tolerant and respectful for a very long time about this issue. On the less positive side, that longstanding tolerance has worn thin and caused it to bubble to the surface in a rather harsh manner.

Obviously you should respect that it is very irritating/upsetting for them to hear constantly and not sing idly in front of them anymore. In private, have at it. If you have actually been doing it in public… well, in addition to being embarrassing many bystanders will think you are unwell or unhinged so that is worth considering. However singing happy birthday and Christmas carols and whatever are fair game and you should continue to do that. Joining another choir or going out for karaoke with friends would be great outlets too.

I think once emotions have subsided it would be fair to have a talk with them. Explain that you’ve heard them about the singing and will hang it up while around them, but that the way they raised it really hurt your feelings. That way you can apologise to each other for being inconsiderate on both sides and hopefully smooth it all over going forward.

You know voices can change as you age, right?

It sounds like they'd had enough, especially if you sing in public when you're not getting paid for it.

Maybe join a local singing group or choir.

She is certainly not backwards at coming forwards 😅Mostly, it's harmless enough, but I'd have died of embarrassment if she was my mum (or dad to be fair) and could not have easily lived with her.

She doesn't embarrass easily, let's put it like that 😄

@Eggandspoonrace2
The gold suited mother sounds unbelievable, clearly not in the Q when they were handing out self awareness😬

Walking on Sunshine and Don't Worry, Be Happy would be good ones, too. I'd do the latter in a variety of voices as well. 🤣

This. And invest enough time in your choir going so that you aren't available to give them lifts, cook meals for them, or the other favours you do for them. 'Sorry, you'll have to sort that yourself, I'm going out to sing'. Watch them rue the day they complained about it.

Also, don't hold back on pointing out any of their annoying habits. I'm sure they have them.

If any of them dared to sing a note I would tell them in great detail how dreadful they sounded.😡
I would also probably sing alone after that though.

I dont think you should need to be a good singer to sing around your family.
Its mean of them to have said what they have.
I sing a lot, badly. But my toddlers love it.... i am the most wonderful thing theyve ever seen. I know hits like the ABC song, twinkle twinkle little star and the wheels on the bus...

I wouldnt stop. If theyve got an issue with cheerful singing, that really is their issue

What a grumpy bunch, I can't sing particularly well and neither can my daughters, but we all sing along to the radio etc sometimes or randomly sing something in our heads, i assumed most people do.

I feel sad that they had to be so hurtful, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't sing again in your home, as pp said you could join a choir, I enjoy singing when I'm on a walk, no one around,

I think whether your voice is wonderful or not, I’d find you singing every day very grating, especially full songs!
Have you never considered it’s a bit annoying?

I cringe when people do things like sing out, I can’t help how I feel. If my husband did it and asked if I liked it I would have to be honest and say no.
My friend does it and laughs louder than others at things too. Do you do this?
Some people are just more expressive but for those of us who aren’t it’s cringe, sorry.

YABU to never sing happy birthday,
Being passive aggressive is nasty, figure out a mature way to manage this.

Honesty I agree with the family. Quieten down a bit.

No, it depends very much on whether she burst into song an insufferable amount and whether she is as flat as a pancake.

If she is a terrible singer or very intrusive with it and always bothering and attention seeking, they may have a point. It would be discourteous and intolerant of the OP to continue if this is the case.

She needs an independent assessment of her voice, not a long ago choir, and to be realistic with herself about how much she is doing this.

It is possible they are just being horrible to her - if so, that needs further investigation.

I know two young women who are thoroughly embarrassed by their mother who will burst into song at the drop of a hat. She bought a gold suit from a second hand shop, a shiny stage type suit, and wears it on evenings out (it belongs in a musical number on a stage, but it gets attention). The other day she was walking through the mall with deely boppers on, a 61 year old woman hoping to be looked at (yes of course age is relevant, we expect everyone to learn more self awareness as they age). There is recent video footage of her cavorting, attempting to moondance etc on a night out with her daughters, putting herself in the middle of a group and basically demanding attention. When Singstar was popular she bought it and would force the family to join on karaoke competitions.

She is talentless, at both singing and dancing and they find it utterly cringeworthy and embarrassing. She seeks attention and lives in a bubble where she's actually quite good.

I will confess this is the sort of person I thought of when I read the OPs post. I could be wrong.

On the other hand, the woman I mentioned is quite entitled to behave like this, it's harmless and it brings her pleasure. But others are entitled to hate it too, and if they live with you it can be problematic.

It is absolutely impossible to know the reality of this situation, as the OP must be treated as an unreliable narrator. We all think we're far better than we are at certain things, this might be one of those things.

I would always love to hear my family sing. I don't care if they have good voices or not. What a miserable bunch

You could start whistling instead? It’s so annoying they’ll probably beg you to start singing again.

I would be like you and pointedly not sing in front of them ever again.