AIBU to stop singing around my family after their comments?

My DH and teens tell me my singing is awful, they're right but I still sing. Keep doing what makes you happy.

Oh man…. What a way to live!

I used to sing in a choir when I was younger but my voice has definitely deteriorated as I've got older, so I only sing silly songs and rhymes to my very young grandchildren. But I quite enjoy singing so I sing to my neighbours dog when I take him for his daily walk, he doesn't seem to mind!!

Do you have a choir near you? If so, you should join. You'll get feedback and an outlet for your singing. I agree with PP, your family sound like fun sponges.

But why would you keep bothering everyone if you can just sing in different settings that won’t bother everyone else? That’s supremely selfish.

I think your family are being mean. It is how you show you are happy. It’s not nice to tell you it’s annoying as it’s part of your personality. From the DC I’d understand it because it’s normal for them to be irritated by parents. Your DH though presumably married you knowing you do this. I completely understand why you are so hurt by this.

All children hate the sound of their parents singing. No idea why but it seemed to be a universal cringe!

Not to be mean but I think I’d get a bit tired of someone singing “full on songs” all the time but I’m sure your family does things you find annoying and you let them do it so they should allow you to!

The birds are good at it though

I’d stick to singing when you’re alone.

My son sings in the shower - he makes the song and the tune up, it's good that he shares the joy of singing.

My dp sings/hums. A lot.

I cannot put into words how annoying it is. If you do it a lot too I completely understand where they're coming from.

Even a wonderful singer would be annoying if they sang random songs around the house.

Singing is basically taking up your environment’s hearing space. Some people want peace and quiet and the singer fills that with sound. That’s invasive and can be irritating.

On the other hand, singing is an expression of joy. So it is a good thing to do.

If you’re good or not doesn’t matter. Even the best voice invades the space and yes “if you don’t like it filling your head space just f off outside… okay…”

A compromise must be found.

Don’t set a passive aggressive example to your kids by never singing happy birthday again OP

If you love singing do it as a hobby. Join a choir, have singing lessons, do what brings you joy.

Why don't you turn this on its head and have some singing lessons? I doubt your voice is terrible but lessons might sharpen it up again.

In the meantime I'd tell the kids and your DH that you sing when you're happy so you feel sad they don't like to hear you sing but it's something you do so you're going to carry on doing it. Just make sure you keep it short until your lessons re-establish what must be a great voice again. 💝

Belting it out when people are trying to work/concentrate/sleep or in public attracting attention is probably inappropriate.

Otherwise sing your heart out - just maybe not at full volume.

My daughter says this kind of thing but that's because she's 13 and terminally embarrassed by everything I do. Objectively, I know I'm a decent singer as I sing in a classical choir and lead my section sometimes.

Ignore them.

Be yourself.

Your DH is mean though.

I instinctively hum show tunes DH has said it annoys him so I ensure I don’t do it around him. I can see it would be annoying.

That is very hurtful. I sing all the time, very very badly (tone deaf due to hearing issues). I’ve been told by family, in a loving way, that I sound like a strangled cat but I like to sing so tough. If you enjoy singing then sing, everyone else can leave the room if it offends their delicate ears!

Sorry OP but it is super annoying when people sing constantly, especially when you can tell that person thinks they're good at it and they do it at a higher volume than most would (everyone songs under their breath at times) so it feels performative.

I actually doubt your voice is bad, I imagine it's just pissing your DH and kids off that you're always doing it. I've got visions of you singing loudly while doing the washing up, putting washing away etc.

I think it would be really petty not to sing happy birthday. There is a difference between singing happy birthday or along to the radio and constantly 'performing' when others can hear you.

Why would you continue to do something you know annoys others and intrudes on them?Does your right to sing trump their right to peace?

@Situationallystuck your DH was nasty.

Even if you had the worst voice in the world he should have said that as you shouldn't stop someone doing something that clearly makes them happy.

I'd personally be sharing some of his faults with him.

This is so horrible OP. I love it when I hear my family members sing, and theirs is generally not tuneful, but it makes me smile because I think you sing when you’re relaxed and basically happy. I would tell them you were hurt by it- you don’t have to make a massive deal of it but your teens especially need to learn that speaking so critically of someone like that is not ok.

Please don't stop singing. It's good for the soul. The more you use your voice the better it gets. Please please don't stop singing in church.

Your husband and son are being awful. Years ago a friend criticised my singing and it stayed with me and I thought I was awful. I didn't stop singing and later joined a choir which won competitions and all my choir mates commented how good my voice is. I get lots of compliments on my voice now. I think the practice helped.

Why not join a choir. If your voice isn't good it will benefit from the practice. Plus your voice hides in a choir.

Or go for some singing lessons. I love singing. The voice is an instrument and can be trained.

Your posts imply that you sing for other people’s ‘benefit’ more than your own and that is very annoying, especially when you have a bad voice.

Singing in general is never a problem, no matter how bad someones voice is.
Nothing makes me happier than hearing people sing even if they’re awful.

But when people think they’re good singers and sing in front of people for attention, then yes it winds me up.

If you’re not singing for attention, then why does it matter if you have a bad voice.
You’re singing because you’re happy, not for any other reason.

YANBU för being hurt (everyone should be allowed to sing no matter how badly) but YABU for being passive-aggressive about it.