AIBU to stop singing around my family after their comments?

Constant singing can be quite grating tbf, it doesn’t mean your voice is bad.

Very well done OP! 50/50!!

You have good reason to sing your heart out!

Keep on singing.....

Seems very petty to not sing Happy Birthday with everyone else just because they've finally mentioned that the singing you've been doing for years for yourself annoys them.

A more measured response would be to sing around them less and in private more but not go all or nothing.

Initially I thought “that’s mean!” And then I thought some more….

How often are you singing for 3 individuals to comment the same, that’s you’re singing too much and isn’t good? Not one, but three. That’s a lot!

Id my house was like the sound of music, but out of tune, think I would find it annoying too. The fact you’ve been married 20 years and hasn’t mentioned it shows he loves you so has let the cats chorus slide for so long? Just to play devils advocate.

I can’t STAND it when people sing in close proximity to me, it goes straight through me like nails on a chalk board (even if they’re not bad singers). Imagine having to live with someone singing all the time.

I can’t STAND it when people sing in close proximity to me, it goes straight through me like nails on a chalk board (even if they’re not bad singers). Imagine having to live with someone singing all the time.

Reminds me of my daughter.... I was shocked when I heard her sing on stage as it was so beautiful where as at home, singing to herself, she sounds like a cat being brutally murdered!! And she does sing at home a lot and members of the family will tell her to stop as it's awful ... There's a BIG difference between a performance voice and an at home to yourself voice.... Especially if you also have headphones on as she gets even worse and even louder!

But the whole "he'll only notice when I don't sing on his birthday" sounds really petty and will probably cause an unnecessary argument on his special day and make you the bad guy. If you have a problem, be a grown-up and tell him now.

This has made me incredibly sad. My dad sang when he was happy, annoying to teen me and he always got lyrics wrong (accidentally on purpose). But we knew he was happy. It made us happy. I sing now and again, usually in the car. I probably haven't the best voice, but when I sing its to express joy. If my family ambushed me and asked me to stop id feel so hurt. I'd hide that bit of my personality and id feel that they wanted me to change because they didnt accept me. Op said her kids have noticed shes not herself. Well that was the point. That little corner of her has been knocked off. Eventually all the little corners will be knocked off and it wont be op any longer.

Yeah I have known many people just like you. In a choir years ago, but voices change as we age, especially if we don’t engage in specialist coaching. However, some suffer from - well I don’t know what to call it- tone deafness of some sort. By that I mean they really don’t hear themselves as others do. You see it with the reality TV singing competitions.

Don be disheartened, whatever your level, very few people have the ability to just start singing along to things and sound great, even professional performers. It easily takes an hour or more to warm up the voice and find the ‘right’ vocal cord position. So this means that without a full professional warm-up, you probably do sound crap. Everyone does.

None of this means you have a bad voice, your voice may just need to a bit of warming up and vocal training to find the sweet spot. There is a huge difference between someone doing a reasonable job of hitting the right notes in the right order and properly using your voice as an instrument.

Either way, it’s a bit cringeworthy to see grown adults singing while they are out-and-about, even if they are really good. I can see why family might tire of it. No need to have a massive sulk and refuse to sing happy birthday. Just keep it as bit of light singing along at home.

Go and get vocal coaching then join a choir if this is important to you. Don’t punish yourself or your family for this new self-awareness.

Sadly, I think if you ask for an opinion then you get an honest one. I'd not take it to heart, I'm a truly awful singer but I still sing! It's not the x factor, it doesn't matter whether it's harmonious and beautiful or screechy or flat, it's an expression of you and your happiness - just do it anyway!!! I'd stop being so passive aggressive and either;
Ignore their moaning and do it anyway
Express how they've hurt your feelings and see what response you get

Personally, I'd ignore their opinions and do what ever you like, it's not hurting them. Lots of family members have habits/quirks, my voice is terrible, my dh loves doodling but is, God love him, shit at it. Dd loves baking but really it's just icing and every sprinkle she can find. Join a choir, sing when you're happy and tell them to jog on, they can express an opinion when they're perfect at everything.

They can get in the bin!

I absolutely love singing. Likewise, I'm not exactly Adele but I'm not horrendous. I sing when I'm happy and I'm happy when I sing.

My daughter, whose bedroom was above the kitchen, would scream and stomp and jump on her bedroom floor if I even dared to utter a few words along with the radio. And I would never be loud!

I'd stop singing. Probably not the best solution, but it's what I did, after being told I didn't have a beautiful voice. Until then, I was convinced I could sing well, and would sing around the house. I haven't sung in public since ... not even when it meant I got punished in school, with the day, for not singing in assembly. I sang at night, to my babies, when they were babies, but never since. It's a horrible feeling.

Please don’t stop singing. Singing is something magical our bodies allow us to do as long as there is capacity in our bodies to do so. Doesn’t matter what it sounds like. I love to sing…I may very well sound terrible, but I’ll tell you this: last year I had laryngitis and could barely speak a word for months. It sent me into a sadness similar to that which I experienced when I had several teeth removed and could only eat soft foods for months. There is a depression that descends upon us when particular senses are deprived. Our senses are not designed to be dampened. We ache and yearn for the wholesome fulfilment that comes with using them. Please sing…keep singing…for every one or us with laryngitis, for every newborn that arcs their hearing toward the sound of their mother, for every Julie Andrews among us that romanced the hills but whose physiology relegates such things to memory, for every grown up kid who would give every limb to hear their late loved one caterwauling with gusto, for all the plants “they” say thrive on such vocalisation, for all those aching for lost lovers, parents, children…please sing…the world is a better and more beautiful place for voices lifted up in joy and life and sheer appreciation for the fact that we have the ability. Fuck ‘em…and sing your bloody heart out…I’ll join you! X

My kids hate it when I sing. I don’t have a good voice. Occasionally I just laugh it off and sing anyway. They’re my loved ones, so I don’t get all petty or take it to heart.

Some people sing for the pleasure of others. Some to bring joy to themselves. I fall in the latter category and often get ribbed for it by my family (but surely everyone sings along to the Christmas songs that play in supermarkets at a certain time of year??)
If you love to sing, keep doing it - avoid singing during public events IE a graduation or an awards ceremony, but with your family just enjoy your song. I am 100% certain that they may have actions or quirks you could do without too, accepting someone with all that makes them unique is a part of love.

I practice plenty between rehearsals but I usually do it when no one else is around.

I know ! What kind of fucking idiot compares someone who spontaneously sings to a bloody paedophile!

sing! it keeps you happy, they do not control you!

This is fucking horrible
We are allowed to be happy and to take up space. My singing is awful ..if people dont kike it they can put headphones on or go somewhere else

I understand totally why you feel upset. I think your family are being mean. My mum hasn't a note in her head and we all love her singing. And at 92 she still sings away and we join in with the tuneless wonder. This is part of your personality so their loss. Sing your heart out when they are not around. If I were you I would look to join a choir, take some time for yourself to do something you enjoy.

I would just carry on. If my teenagers said my singing was bad or embarrassing I wouldn’t make too much of it because they are wired to be embarrassed by us. I’d probably do it more just to annoy them. But your OH was particularly cruel and that would really bother me. I sing in Rock Choir and my husband slags me off sometimes in a lighthearted way but he’d never be so hurtful as to say my singing was terrible even if it was! Are you sure this isn’t a deeper issue in your relationship? Some people enjoy being negative, contrary and sucking the joy out of things. He might not really think you are terrible, but has some weird resentment of the happiness it brings you.
Maybe you should join Rock Choir or find some other outlet for your singing. In RC it doesn’t really matter if you aren’t a great singer. I’m feeling really bad for you OP- they are all rotten gits.

You have a communication problem not a singing problem.

teens fair enough probably find it embarrassing

given after one day they ask if you are OK suggests that either you sing more than you realise or your mood is outwardly being affected.

as for hubby thats extremely petty to retaliate by not singing for his or anyones birthday. Are you sure you don’t need to be centre of attention cos this behaviour signals just that. Singing happy birthday is about the birthday person not the person singing

I hate to say it but a lot of people are very delusional about how well they sing. Sometimes they can hold a tune but the things they sing are painful to listen to on repeat. I don’t think your family would say this to you if it didn’t actually bother them. It’s hard enough with kids who make perpetual noises let alone an adult.

I used to love my mum singing along with the radio while driving the car.

Made dull journeys seem like a treat.

Even then I bet their teens are 🙄