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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU over chair?

129 replies

Undertheviaduct · 01/04/2026 17:10

Hi, grateful for any perspectives. Son is home from Uni, and wants to sit in his 'usual' chair in the living room. This is the one he has always tended to sit in. However, since he went to Uni, husband has taken to sitting in that chair. Husband wants me to support that it is now 'his' chair, and is angry that I'm not supporting him in that. Son is in halls with only a desk chair and I want him to feel comfortable and welcomed for the short time he is back. Husband says this particular chair has better view of TV etc. I have offered him the chair where I usually sit, with good view of the TV etc, but that didn't help. Husband feels that I am not prioritising him. AIBU to think son should be able to sit in his usual chair when he is back?

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/04/2026 21:11

So you havent clarified - does your son pay the bills. If so he should definitely have the choice of chair. If not he needs to grow up and accept that he is an adult and until he pays the bills, he gets what he’s given.

Owly11 · 01/04/2026 20:28

Your husband is a knob.

Tacohill · 01/04/2026 20:26

If my child was home from uni they could sit wherever they wanted to.

Your DH sounds like a twat.

Original poster
Undertheviaduct · 01/04/2026 20:11

Thank you all. DH is indeed the father, believe it or not! I needed to hear that I should just stay out of it- thank you!

OP posts:
Kingdomofsleep · 01/04/2026 20:10

I could not be married to a man like that honestly and I'd be ashamed of my son too if he were carrying on like that. Ugh

heartsinvisiblefury · 01/04/2026 20:10

How do these men navigate life if they behave like this over a chair?

Velvian · 01/04/2026 20:09

Changename12 · 01/04/2026 18:56

Move the chair so that it doesn’t have the best view of the TV.
Is your husband your son’s father? That may be the problem.

This was my first thought, is DH your son's dad?

Namenamchange · 01/04/2026 20:08

Is dh, ds dad?

Crunchymum · 01/04/2026 20:08

Is your DH your DS's dad @Undertheviaduct ?

If not how long has he been around?

Sounds like they are having a pissing contest about who is "Alpha" - which is just tiresome.

BobbieTables · 01/04/2026 20:06

I put yabu because you shouldn't be entertaining this shit. Tell them to sort it out themselves!
Other than that I think you could:
A) sit on the chair yourself and tell them both to fuck off
B) cage fight (as suggested above) winner gets the chair
C) burn the chair in the garden and dance naked around it.

B1anche · 01/04/2026 20:05

Team DH. Since when did kids get to decide who sits where?

facethemusical · 01/04/2026 20:02

Is your husband his dad? I'm guessing not. He sounds like a massive man child bellend. He'll be marking his territory next and the chair will stink of piss.

SunnyRedSnail · 01/04/2026 19:33

@Undertheviaduct solve the problem and sit in it yourself.

First come first served.

It's a chair FFS!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/04/2026 19:30

Hnjk67 · 01/04/2026 19:28

I would be inclined to make the son feel welcome when he's home, especially if he's only visiting a short time, and offer him the favoured chair. Depends on personality dynamics though. If the father is a rather authoritative type (I have personally known such types who exude calm authority and everyone just naturally follows them), then probably father gets the chair 🙂. Either way, stay out of it!!! Don't get taken into such trivia.

Presumably he’s not being forced to sit in the garden!

There is no need to ‘hail the conquering hero’ either. If he doesn’t pay his way then he gets what he gets

Hnjk67 · 01/04/2026 19:28

I would be inclined to make the son feel welcome when he's home, especially if he's only visiting a short time, and offer him the favoured chair. Depends on personality dynamics though. If the father is a rather authoritative type (I have personally known such types who exude calm authority and everyone just naturally follows them), then probably father gets the chair 🙂. Either way, stay out of it!!! Don't get taken into such trivia.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/04/2026 19:02

And does your son pay enough keep so that you aren’t out of pocket when he does come home? I’m guessing probably not, so why would he get priority?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/04/2026 19:01

As your husband is presumably there more often than your son, your son is going to have to suck it up and find another chair. Although it’s clear from your OP that you would rather your son had it

Hellohelga · 01/04/2026 18:56

Nofeckingway · 01/04/2026 17:49

Whoever owns the house and pays the bills wins. Uni students should be sitting on cosmic cushions and planning their future .

This. Uni son makes way for those who work, pay bills and support everyone’s lifestyle. Imagine if DS went in the uni bar and started bitching because he didn’t like the seat he ended up in. Teenagers sit on the floor of the train station and are perfectly happy. Support your DH.

Changename12 · 01/04/2026 18:56

Move the chair so that it doesn’t have the best view of the TV.
Is your husband your son’s father? That may be the problem.

gostickyourheadinapig · 01/04/2026 18:52

Son does not sound mature enough for university, maybe he should go back to kindergarten.

dizzydizzydizzy · 01/04/2026 18:51

A showdown at dawn might be a good way of
sorting it out. Alternatively knock their stubborn skulls together.

Hellohelga · 01/04/2026 18:48

My DH has his own chair - recliner with best view of the telly. Kids each have a lower ranking chair/tv position. That’s because he pays for every damn thing and they pay for eff all. Seems fair.

toastandegg · 01/04/2026 18:34

I would sit in the chair myself or throw the thing outside - what a deeply unattractive trait for your dh to have

RamsayBoltonsConscience · 01/04/2026 18:34

They should both grow up!

PepsiBook · 01/04/2026 18:32

Why should you prioritise him over your son?
Son should always come first.
But, this is a blood chair. Whoever gets there first can sit on it.
Your husband sounds like an arsehole

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