Is MN feeding unhealthy attitudes towards men?

I'd be delighted for you to link me to the section of MN where there's a pile of posts advocating for violence towards men.

Please do enlighten me so I can report to the relevant authorities.

Don’t agree with you OP. MN merely reflects realistic experiences of women. What is wrong with that exactly on a supposedly female-orientated site? A healthy dose of realism is a much better way to approach life.

You mean like Reddit where the spree killers hang out?

Nah @Grtscott I read your original message before you edited. I’ve nothing to say to you.

I'm not sure how else to describe it. Easily influenced?

And you weren't talking about marriages, but rather men in general. I'm sure you know more than one man, don't you?

At any rate, yes, it does seem weak-minded to be so badly affected by women asking for support or venting about men in their lives, that you find you actively need to remind yourself they're not all like that.

There may be some dodgy men’s sites in the dark recesses of the web but MN is a mainstream site.

But it doesn't, it isn't and it hasn't.

You think my 'often' is doing the heavy lifting so you bring in 'sometimes' to take over?
You can't question the validity of an opinion using such terms then fail to provide anything more robust, such as statistical evidence to support your own argument.
As far as I'm aware there is no data on this to support either of us. So we both speak from experience, patterns observed and so on.
You may well be a woman who has not had the experience of a male colleague befriending you because he is sexually interested in you.
You may never have had a person you believed to be a good friend developing feelings. However, enough women say this has happened to them for us to know it happens.
Enough women come on here and talk of friendships that led to their husband having an affair for us to identify a pattern.
I agree we don't know for sure how prevalent it is, and of course we can't say every case follows the pattern.
My point was that in these threads my stance is usually to acknowledge there is a risk.
Other people like yourself are equally free to reassure the OP there is no risk if you like. That's the point of a range of views, surely?

Really?

You are familiar with all the men's sites advocating actual violence towards women which are very much still there then?

I think either you are a liar or you don't know much about the internet.

Or maybe you need to look a bit deeper at the reasons women speaking up about their experiences triggers you. There maybe is something very uncomfortable for you about confronting how other people are experiencing relationships. I have a fantastic relationship with my husband but my brother sexually abused me. So I don’t find the relationship board as triggering as you might because I integrated a long time ago that there is good and bad stuff going on all the time even very close to home. That to me appears to be the issue you are having. You are struggling badly with that cognitive dissonance and you are trying to take your discomfort out on female posters on MN. I can’t imagine you are writing to newspaper editors or the BBC to proclaim your discomfort at them contributing to how men are viewed in the world? Maybe I’m wrong and you are.

I agree that MN perpetuates group hate towards men. If it was a men’s site it would have been shut down by now.

I thought it was hilarious, I'm not offended. But if you don't think calling someone weak minded is not offensive then you might need to do some work on your interpersonal skills.

Real life is personal knowledge of one good marriage. MN is personal detail of dozens of bad ones a week. I think there are a lot of us in this forum reminding ourselves that people don't write about the good stuff.

Can I ask you @Grtscott do you feel the same reading the newspaper, watching the news? Pages after page of men going to prison for murder, male pattern violence in wars they’ve started, violence on the streets, rape and sexual assault, one of today’s I saw was a man convicted of training his dog to do sex acts on him, a boy who murdered a 30 something year old man etc etc or is it something particularly about women speaking up about bad relationships that really triggers you?

😂🙈🤯

Oh dear. I'm not being insulting, I was making an honest observation about the effect that Mumsnet appears to be having on you and the OP. I'm sorry if that offends you, but your reaction does seem unusually strong.

For you to be so influenced by what you read online, to the point that it threatens to override your own positive experiences in real life, and you have to actively remind yourself of the decent men out there, doesn't seem healthy or balanced.

Why do you think what you read on Mumsnet has such an influence on you?

A society where overall men hold the power, through a variety formal and informal mechanisms.
You're correct in the uk that this isn't formalised, but it still exists and is demonstrated by all sorts of examples from the fact that men kill and hurt women at alarming rates, to women's over representation in lower status lower power occupations and in the domestic rather than public sphere. Basically, think of any instance where women get the rougher end of the deal because we are women and you'll find patriarchy at the root of it.
For men it manifests as toxic masculinity and that's the root of the problems men create for women and thenselves.
I don't 'hate men'. I don't believe that a baby born a boy is innately 'bad'. I believe that a patriarchal society takes them and shapes them into the role required of them. For many this is hugely advantageous and they are able to perform it well. Others who can't can be its victims. Others still are ruined by it and become the monsters.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Weak minded. Would you like to add any more insults? Perhaps go a little further to proving that women can't discuss this rationally.

Why do you need to actively remind yourself of the fact that many men are decent, if you interact with them often?

In honesty, it seems a little weak-minded to be so influenced by women talking about the factual statistics of men's criminality or sexism as a class, or individual women's issues with abusive or useless men, that you actually have to remind yourself that not every man is awful.

It isn't only the OP, I'm actively reminding myself while reading MN of all the good guy behaviour that isn't being reported because it's just this behaving decently.

I doubt if it's just two of us.

It wasn't his friend though, I agree that it's a different scenario if it's one of his close friends.

Stag and hen dos usually involve lots of people that don't know each other because they bring together families and different friendship groups, the only person that will know everyone is the groom or bride.

I would be so annoyed if I went on a hen do and my husband thought I was going to cheat just because the brides cousin or random work colleague was planning to.

There's always the possibility of your partner lying to you but there has to be some trust otherwise what's the point?