Is MN feeding unhealthy attitudes towards men?

Seriously, trying to make sense of @Grtscott 's OP is a trial. No logical consistency at all.

I think it varies by thread. Half the time I'm gobsmacked by the appallingness of the man being described and how the OP has managed to stick with him for a week, never mind marry and have children. The other half, I'm gobsmacked by the hostility towards men who seem perfectly normal (or at least within the range of normal), like the thread the other day about a man who was in pain 24h after a vasectomy. Not much in the middle.

The bar is getting lower because women are discussing behaviours that they find unacceptable?

So, by that same logic.... the climate crisis continues because scientists keep talking about it?

Something doesn't seem to add up here.

Well then, you could just avoid the Relationships threads?
My DH is being a very good parent just now. But I haven't posted about it. Why would I?

A lot of posters here think all men (general) are rubbish but that their own man is brilliant.

My husband would never cheat, go to a lap dancing club, phwar at the new hottie in the office etc.....

LOLLLLLL

Did MN make you do this?

An idea is not a AK47 to your head. Take some personal responsiblity.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER - sometimes they do, and often those men show up only to have suddenly changed and want to end the relationship because they met another woman.
the good bloke comments are there - on plenty of threads but people don’t need to ask for advice usually when life is going swimmingly.. and MN isn’t just a site to have a chat on as it’s primarily marketed as a parenting forum by parents for parents- with obviously plenty of deviations (feminism board, hobby boards, health related boards and so on).

You say were, how are they expected to behave now?

Reading about the problems many Mumsnetters have with the men in their lives makes me more appreciative of the decent man I married, more determined to bring our sons up respectful and appreciative of women, and more determined to bring our daughters up with very high standards as to what they can expect from men.

When I have asked dh and our adult sons about the way some men fail to see women as equal human beings, and some of the disgusting ways men can behave, they are unsurprised. Dh and our sons know that men can be exactly as the OP describes. I didn’t have to tell them.

Look at the way men the world over behave, OP. You think women’s attitudes are the problem?

I totally agree! I haven't been on this forum for so many years - came back a few months ago and found it's not anything like what it used to be. So toxic and hypocritical.

Every day I see a post- not necessarily about graphic abuse- but something like " My DP won't pay for X or Y while I am on maternity leave because he says it's his money". So much covert financial abuse disguised as my money and your money.

I agree with you, OP. Men were meant to behave and think like women here.

You have to remember that people rarely post about their good, helpful, kind, capable, loving blokes.

MN is often truthful about the inadequacies of many men. Men are privileged in current society and many of them are lazy and entitled.

Therefore if a woman has a partner and doesn't feel like sex with her partner any more, the single divorced members of Mumsnet will en mass come on the thread to tell them that sex is overrated, that their partner is probably a misogynist and doesn't value them, that sex is something you do when you're young, etc

So only single and divorced posters have these attitudes?

There has always been a lot of man hating and double standards on here.

What attitudes should you see? Unconditional forgiveness for forgetting normal things that calendars help with, like birthdays? Absolute deference to everything they say or want? Forcing yourself to have sex even when it’s painful or uncomfortable or pushed for non-stop? Eternal gratitude if the care for their own children for half an hour?

I've also recognised where this thinking has affected the way I think about my wonderful man, and sometimes in things I've said to him or actions towards him. I need to watch this in future

Good for you. And the clue for improvement is doing, not watching.

MN feeds unhealthy attitudes towards quite a few things, if you let it. You don't have to absorb things you don't want to though. Like any internet bubble, you can be drawn down rabbit holes by seeking out or joining particular threads that make it seem like everyone hates men, or nobody wants to care for elderly parents, or everyone thinks it's fine to never interact with neighbours or whatever. But they are sometimes good for presenting alternative viewpoints, you just have to step away when you're fed up with hearing it.

Such a weak, predictable response.

I think you're onto something @Grtscott but I think you're going to be shouted down easily on here because you've claimed MN as a site is feeding negative attitudes "in general" in society, which is a wild take.

I think on Mumsnet there is a big issue however with the fact people like to reinforce echo chambers or seize on an OP's situation to project how they'd like to behave in their own realities.

Therefore if a woman has a partner and doesn't feel like sex with her partner any more, the single divorced members of Mumsnet will en mass come on the thread to tell them that sex is overrated, that their partner is probably a misogynist and doesn't value them, that sex is something you do when you're young, etc.

If a woman has a DH who isn't helping enough with the "mental load" (ugh) , then the hordes of MN'ers who have experienced similar at one point in their lives, come in en mass to tell the OP that he is broken, useless and needs to leave the house.

Don't forget also @Grtscott that AIBU is an extreme area of Mumsnet where people love to goad and belittle OPs, using reverse psychology and strangely passive aggressive wording to try and get a reaction.