Is MN feeding unhealthy attitudes towards men?

Reading MN actually does the opposite for me and gives me an ever lower opinion of women. The emotionalism, the inability to consider long term consequences and 2nd/3rd order effects. Any thread on politics displays the absolute dregs of low IQ thinking and makes me think giving women the vote was a mistake. So, in that light, I think men come off quite well.

Absolutely agree. A lot of very toxic posting against men and men held to completely different standards of behaviour than women. And no understanding of the basic dynamic that men tend to do their damage with actions, but are more than matched by women who do their damage verbally and/or covertly.

We have lovely men in our family. But my opinion of men generally is still low. In fact it makes me worse probsbly because I know what a good men look and behave like.

Men commit most of the violent and sexual crime, and when you read on MN about misogynistic attitudes and tales of useless and avoidant men that women have shackled themselves too, it’s not hard to see where the ‘man hate’ comes from. In fact it would be pretty naive to take the view that all men are goodness and light. Yes, of course they will be on the sex board…Not so much on the relationships board when it comes to remembering birthdays, being competent fathers or the equal division of household labour.

It's certainly a brand-new poster.

You really seem to dislike this site.

What I see on MN is year on year on year on year on year of the individual experiences of individual women. This is a site by name about women, so it makes sense that they are the ones voicing their experience. Men can post on Dadsnet, try their hand on MN, or fuck off to a man's site.

MNers rarely hold back from saying what they think of shitty behaviour from women.

On the bright side though, all of the world's problems could be solved if we all just shush about them.

Think of all those activists who wasted their time trying to raise awareness and bring about change for various causes. If only they'd sat quietly, we would all be skipping around utopia right now.

Is this April fool?

I think the problem is, and this is just as true in general life as it is on Mumsnet, that people only post/complain/talk when they have a problem or a bad experience. A bit like people who have a bad experience at a hotel/restaurant are more likely to post on Facebook/Review website than people who had a good experience. It does create a bit of an echo chamber of bad but that is just life.

I have a great husband, he’s an amazing man, a good friend, a brilliant dad to our children, we are incredibly happy- I’m not going to start a thread about that because I don’t need advice. People having a good time don’t post because they don’t need advice but that doesn’t mean these relationships and men don’t exist.

People only post on here about problems. They’re not going to talk about their brilliant husbands. What really comes out on this site is how many women are experiencing awful relationships, and putting up with absolute crap from partners. Obviously they are seeking support. There is also a lot of abuse, including financial and controlling behaviour that women just don’t realise they are subjected to.

Not sure why you would relate it to your partner though, if he is none of those things? Sometimes you also have to accept that views on the site don’t all match your own, for example I’m unmarried, in a long term relationship. If I listened to the majority of mumsnetters I’d assume I’m in a terrible position, but I know I’m not, so I ignore it

A silly example from the other day was a woman complaining about a boring coffee shop interaction she seems to initiate, this man answers her and then proceeds to tell her his life story

Cue lots of 'how men feel they're entitled to bore women/interact with women/waste womens time'

Completely ignoring the scores of posters who gave examples of their mother, MIL, next door neighbours (female)

Apparently some bored, lonely old bloke waffling on about things you personally dont find interesting are indicative of how controlling and entitled men are of womens time!!!

Not just an indication of human interaction the world over and centuries old.

You’ve never seen the phrase Not My Nigel on Mumsnet? Are you new?

My goodness, the reaching you are doing.
Anyway if you are happy, MN shouldn't affect you that much.

Feminists have always been characterised as man-haters. Same old same old.

It was literally on a thread I was reading the other day. Which predictably I cant remember what it was.

The misandry on here goes largely unchecked. Posters would have you believe that everything wrong in families and relationships is because of mens behaviour. But back in reality I see shitty behaviour and problems caused by both sexes.

Never seen this. Ever.

But if people do comment positively about their male partners it’s often dismissed as “not my Nigel”.

If we dont think that OP is right or that there is a huge influence from a website (could be anything) which may colour someones experience of something,, why are we so concerned about incel forums and the such like?

Surely men (as an example) are not being influenced by those, surely a website doesnt do that. Surely listening to the likes of Andrew Tate doesnt do that?

I can't recall anyone saying men can't take responsibility, only that, in a host of year on year examples, they don't.

Man Child? Try Neneh Cherry. 1989.

I dunno. I see an awful lot of men telling women how they expect them to behave on sites like Instagram (I don’t use any other social media, but I guess it is the same on TikTok, etc). Men trying to dial back our rights, commenting on our bodies, saying women have never invented or achieved anything of worth, threatening to harm us when they are challenged and so on. Many men have always hated us and now they have a platform to sprout that hatred. We also have these platforms where we can challenge them, including mumsnet, which is why it probably seems like everyone has a low opinion of men on here.

I have a low opinion of men because of how they have treated me over the years - that doesn’t mean that all men are shit, but I have had enough shit experiences for me to be wary of all (and I often think that very young women have not reached that point yet - it comes to most of us eventually). My dh tries hard, but I’ve had to point things out to him over the years - most men are brought up with certain views about women (either subliminally or overtly) and these are then fortified by peers as they become teens/adults - they have to actively work against this in order to be decent. Many don’t bother.

It’s right that we challenge poor behaviour, even if ‘the good ones’ feel victimised by it. If they are really good they should be calling other men out for it too, but they often don’t see their own privilege.

OP - you wrongly assumed “man child” behaviour from your wonderful partner… because of a website?
That’s a bit odd. I don’t relate to the majority i
of lives or comments on MN because, for instance parenting my child has to be different owing to how she is, so conversation about bullying or school fees or parties or reciprocity of gift-giving fly over my head. It doesn’t make me think about my child in other people’s terms..
How come you were so influenced by other people’s lives that you started speaking wrongly to your partner?