Is MN feeding unhealthy attitudes towards men?

I don’t hate men at all. I love them as much as I love all humans and I don’t think we should expect them to behave the same as women. They’re not the same as us.
The trouble is. Because I don’t have to live with one any more I choose not to. My young adult daughters appear to have decided not to take one on at all.
I am slowly coming around to thinking that the reasons we built all our patriarchal (and religious) societies is because it’s the only way that really works for men. And they’re bigger than us. When we have the choice we too often just don’t put up with them. I’m so thankful to be living here and now and relatively safe living without one.

Yes. "Men are really lovely and nasty women tell lies and exaggerate about them." Gets warm affirmation from men and push back from women. Serves as confirmation of original statement.

I knew eventually this discussion would end in: ooh some women are so bitchy.

We should alert the Met Police. Maybe they can turn their VAWG task force into an anti-bitchiness unit.

I'm not sure what you're getting at? Speak plainly. I assume you're being sarcastic and you do mean me, so what damage have I possibly caused to you or anyone else by commenting that if you're worried about having your view of men negatively impacted by chat forums, you may indeed be wise to stay away from male dominated ones?

If you can't handle a very mildly acerbic exchange between women in the course of a discussion, then I'm not sure you'd be able to handle reading the sorts of things that men say about women - so probably ignorance is best.

I know I personally take the 'ignorance is bliss' route with some things. There's no shame in limiting the amount of negativity you consume.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is what I love about some women. They bitch like hell about men's bad behaviour and completely ignore the damage women cause so skilfully with caustic words and subtle actions. Not, of course, suggesting that this is you.

Probably wise. Sonetimes ignorance is the best way to peace of mind.

Hah! I haven't heard that before. It makes me think of, "Never wrestle with a pig in the mud, you’ll both get dirty and the pig likes it" 😆

I'm happy with what I'm doing thank you.

Why not visit male dominated sites then and access a much larger sample size? Perhaps that will serve as a balance and reassure you that what you read on MN is not reflective. Maybe.

If you play in faeces, you'll eventually stink of shit.

I have explained. If you don't understand i can't help you any further. I won't be answering any more of your posts.

As someone who did all of those things and married a bad one… I didn’t know in the beginning. I was very very young and wised up quickly. It was a shame I had to do that: if I’d had Mumsnet or the knowledge I wouldn’t have but I didn’t and I can’t change the past.

Because this site is mostly white people and this type of attitude towards men seems pervasive in middle classed white women. As a Black woman, I don't hear this spoken about like that in Black households. Either women are happier with how labour is divided, however it is divided, and/or the men do more. From my experience, the men do more than what is being described in these threads for certain.

ETA: Never mind, I misread your last post.

I have not used the word radicalise anywhere. I will answer you if you quote me for politeness , but this really is a discussion I see no point in engaging in with you.

It just makes me wonder if htry are so useless why marry them or live with them or breed with them in the first place then do nothing put up with it you have a partner problem not a man problem

Ans what does white have to do with it?

Yes

Perhaps you need to explain yourself better.

Because what you wrote was that you need to 'actively remind yourself' there are good men out there, lest what you read on Mumsnet radicalises you against men.

Oh yes, because all the men's sites overflowing with hatred towards women, including pining over wanting to beat and rape them, calling them 'foids', and advocating for 'white sharia' etc, get shut down.

Oh wait. No they don't.

Yes but the recent threads where women admit that their husbands do absolutely nothing in the house makes me seem why so many here absolutely detest men.

They should know that their experiences arent universal and it is about picking men with good character, essentially. But if your only experiences are fathers, brothers and then husbands who do nothing but use and abuse you, then your attitude isn't going to be much different to what we see.

It seems like a lot of the middle classed and particularly white British couples are living together in total resentment of each other but feel they have to stay in that toxic dyad. Of course over time that will kill any sort of kindness or compassion you have in you for anyone remotely like your enemy spouse

Disney and the porn industry have a lot of blame to carry between them.

If it were an issue all the low earning and short men would be single.
Its an issue only in the minds of men who are unable to get any and every woman they feel entitled to to date them, and don't see why they should have to broaden their own criteria to include women who may not be their own idea of physical perfection.
A man who is of decent character will always be of interest to women if instead of becoming embittered, bleating about how shallow women who won't date them are, they took a leaf from their own book and widened their range.

Are you unable to take one short pithy example and extrapolate?

If you can't get the point from what I wrote, so be it. I don't feel disengaging from a discussion with a person who stoops straight to "weak minded" will be much of a loss.

I have read the entire thread, so I'm fine, thanks.

But you've literally said that what you read on Mumsnet influences how you treat your husband, in a negative way - that's troubling.

I don't think that's the norm for most Mumsnet users, and indeed many have said it makes them either appreciate the good men in their lives more, or in some cases has helped them recognise abusive behaviour.

You express concern about the effect Mumsnet might have on women - I think in regards to discussion about men, it's mostly a valuable resource that provides sensible support and advice, as well as having vigorous and well-informed discussion about men as a class, and issues regarding sexism and patriarchy.

So no, I don't think Mumsnet is feeding unhealthy attitudes towards men for the average user. I suppose that a minority - like you - might be vulnerable to that, though.