Is MN feeding unhealthy attitudes towards men?

Exactly, and if they really are 'lovely' then they will be as horrified as we are and will be talking about it too! The only ones offended are the abusers themselves.

It's on here all the time. The 'Not My Nigels' come on here and say to any women (who give several reasons why they are bashing men,) 'MY husband doesn't do this/doesn't act like this. In fact, no man I know acts this way.'

It's often followed by a smug and pathetic 'you need to get better men in your life..' type of comment. 🙄

I have also never noticed a generally anti-male bent here. I see far more examples of women carrying men’s water for them than otherwise.

I have definitely seen anti-male posts but they are definitely a minority and full of women passionately defending men.

MN rules. Don't do a thread about a thread.

How can you really know from threads whether the OP would be a good or bad partner? If they seem unreasonable etc you can have an idea but I'm not sure if often there's enough info to judge the OP.

I don’t think MN discussions makes women hate men.

a lot of threads open up people’s eyes to what is unacceptable behaviour in their own relationships. I’ve learned a lot about my own abusive marriage ( after the fact) by reading MN threads. The advice and perspectives other posters have given have also helped me see I wasn’t in the wrong, and actually build better boundaries.

I do have a worse view of men from reading threads on MN, but that’s because posters have made me question what has been going on in my own relationships- with family, partners, work colleagues etc.

i wish id read MN in my 20’s!

We're still dealing with some men who were raised by a generation of some dads who can't microwave a jacket potato or turn on a washing machine (nor had they ever dreamt of learning).

My dad is 70 and could run a house on his own but mainly because he was raised by a single working mum and had no choice but to cook for himself and sort his school uniform. I'm not sure if that would be the case had his dad not died.

1000% correct. Mumsnet is like the manosphere for women, Louis needs to interview some of the women on here to understand where their hatred stems from.
I'm just glad no one I know in real life is as judgemental, sexist and pure nasty as they are on here 🤷‍♀️

Why do you care so much @Grtscott about men being bashed on here?

When women are doing this, it's almost always for a reason.

Most women have MANY reasons to bash men.

And we're not going to stop because someone we don't know comes on here and says we should.

I can understand this in that context: it's definitely not healthy for a woman to think her husband was bewitched into cheating and it's all the OW's fault.

Sometimes they struggle to find one because they aren't good partnership material themselves. I know I'm not, which is why I prefer singledom. It makes me think of the people who desperately want friends but don't want to be a friend. They only think about what they want, not about what they can offer.

I’m not new, been here since 2009. I have seen the sentiment but never seen that phrase.

If more woman valued self respect over sex and financial support then they wouldn't lower their standards and date these awful men.

'I think in previous generations women weren't able to communicate in such wide communities that we now have online. I will admit that I will forever be suspicious of men - I doubt I would ever trust one again but it's been such a comfort to have so many women tell me that I'm not crazy, he is abusive etc. Where else can you get that support anonymously and accessibly?'

• this bit : I think women have always advised each other and warned about bad men but there was more pressure to stay in the past..

I agree anonymity can be an advantage but I would caution that one should remember people don't tend to post if things are going well, which skews things somewhat, and posts may be made up by trolls in some cases.

I'm glad you were able to get good advice and you're out of that horrible situation. 💐

Yes and no - I do think there are some real man haters on here who think we should all leave someone at the drop of a hat - however on the other hand I do think there are a great many men, possibly close to a majority who think kids and housework are women’s work,their job is way more important, sex is an entitlement as is watching hard core sleaze and women need to just accept that’s the case -

Nah you're wrong, OP, men are shit ; my partner is lovely and I can still identify many of issues raised by women on these boards - complacency with some expected gender roles, at times an inability to see the disparity and unfair treatment between men and women and I could go on...

I agree, OP. There are some staggeringly demanding and needy women out there (and of course some staggeringly demanding and needy men, too). Neither sex has the monopoly on being awful human beings. However, the effect on me has been to improve my view of men, possibly as a reaction to the many OTT comments I read here.

Yes sometimes.

I've been on Mumsnet on and off for a long time, perhaps this is less prevalent now. I can remember a time when it felt like the default response to any post and it was a bit of a running joke on here.

I agree with you, but it’s very much an attitude you will get ridiculed for on here and told you are a pick me girl or a handmaiden
no point trying to argue against it, I find it really regressive, but leave everyone to their own views, they aren’t my experience

Thank you,

Excellent post.

I think sometimes the words used towards the DH/male DP are strong but it comes from frustration that the OP needs to straighten her metaphorical backbone and stand up to him because she's thought up until now that it's normal that she does all the child-related admin when they both work full-time or is going into debt to pay her "half" of the bills on maternity leave.

If one feels they are projecting this behaviour onto men they know without cause it's probably time for a break.

Somewhat often I see men being criticised for things that probably lots of women do and nobody minds. Or at least wouldn't be viewed as harshly if a woman was doing it.

Possibly more often we have women coming on here who are in relationships with obviously awful men and don't seem to fully realise it. Or they've just started to realise it but if you read the post then a lot of the clues have been there from the start and they somehow haven't noticed. So overall I think I would be encouraging women to be more critical of men, not less!

Some people really can't stand it when women get together and talk openly about men.🤨

YABU @Grtscott . If what you read is causing you to identify problematic behaviour in your own relationship that's a good thing. If certain boards make you feel uncomfortable you don't have to click. You can stick to the wanking threads on the Sex Topic instead.🤷‍♀️