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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to help renovate my father’s bungalow instead of school pick-up?

157 replies

JustNotImportant · 01/04/2026 08:24

Just looking for some perspective.

My Father has allowed us to live in his main residence as they are downsizing to a bungalow. This will be rent free, but the bungalow requires a lot of work.

I am the sole worker, my partner is a stay at home parent to 4 children.

I work 50 hours a week, outside of work I also run our children to all their out of school activities as my partner does not drive.

I took two days off this week to help with the renovation, the way I see it is they are giving us an amazing opportunity and I will help where i can.

My partner has complained and told me my priorities are wrong because I won't pick our children up from school these two days, which would of been their pickups anyway because of work.

So mumsnet, are my priorities skewed? AIBU?

OP posts:
OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 01/04/2026 08:39

Yanbu, partner should pick up as normal.

Side note - I could never live with a non-driver, unless for medical reasons. It’s a complete abdication of responsibility, especially if you expect the other person to drive, and use it as an excuse why you cannot do something.

SummerInSun · 01/04/2026 08:36

Your priorities are not skewed and your partner should be supportive of everything to facilitate your DF’s generous offer. (BTW, don’t let your DH give you the house as if you are headed towards a split with your partner you don’t want your partner to have a claim on it).

That said, I very rarely get to pick my DC up from school as I also world full time but on the rare occasions I do they are so pleased and you hear far more about the day and how they really feel in the moment than you get when you are only seeing them later on after they are already home. So like PP, unless it would have taken a huge amount of time out of your day, I would have taken a quick break and treated myself to a rare school pickup.

Whaleandsnail6 · 01/04/2026 08:36

Yanbu.

You have taken the time off work for a specific reason...to help renovate the property.

Partner usually does pick up. Unless they have some massively important appointment that you have not mentioned, then they should pick up as normal

BlueMum16 · 01/04/2026 08:32

Why does your partner want you to pick up the kids rather than them as normal?

I dont see the issue with going your dad especially if you are back to do all the kids clubs that you usually do.

hididdlyho · 01/04/2026 08:32

Unless the school is just down the road from your Dad's and it would be only be a 10 minute job, YANBU. Presumably your partner usually manages to do the school run and you are using your time to do something which benefits the family.

CrocusesFlowering · 01/04/2026 08:30

How close is the school?

Sowhat1976 · 01/04/2026 08:28

Your partner needs to learn to drive.

I think it depends on the time it takes you to pick up reathet than them.

Taking a whole day off and using an hour of it to pick up your kids isn't a big deal. Especially if your journey and effort is going to be easier than theirs because you've got a vehicle.

Sometimes, I think people spend more time arguing about shut than things actually take to do.