AIBU to expect confidentiality after raising concerns with a charity?

Good god, it's just infinite complaining!

Maybe op could anonymously report to the charity commission?…
also op hasn’t said what “concerns” are there, other than “I don’t like that”.

So you wanted to be sneaky? Raise issues but anon as the school didn’t take you on? No wonder you’re a bit embarrassed. Don’t think the charity is the issue here. Would love to know your nickname in the staff room all the same!

this is irrelevant. Anyone should be able to have a conversation about concerns without it being biradcast back in this way.

Ofcourse OP had a legitimate expectation of confidentiality. This is why people don’t raise concerns!!

OP let the charity know you are surprised and disappointed at how they handled this

Hardly. Most parents are entirely apathetic about what is taught in school and how it's taught.

This is clearly something the OP feels strongly about. Good for her for trying to engage with the school.

If I understand it - are you staff/teacher who sought advice and were trying to navigate this but the department head/HT has not been receptive? So the fall out means that there is now ill feeling? I think that if this is the case that the charity should have asked your permission to approach the school directly and, yes, I would go back to them and ask why they went beyond the remit of giving you advice that you sought to approaching the school.

From one telephone conversation?

Even if it’s not ‘best practice’ or ‘not the way you would teach it’ that doesn’t mean it’s wrong or inappropriate (unless you have good reason to believe it is). You can’t impose your own views on how a subject should be taught on a school. It would be chaos. What if medically trained parents didn’t like the way Krebb’s Cycle was taught, or geographer parents didn’t like the way ox bow lakes were taught, or musician parents didn’t like the way the recorder was taught? It would be carnage!

Also, do you not realise, anybody can run teaching courses. You could do it yourself. Just set up an ad "I offer training in x, y, z. Call me".
School will buy into the training they feel they need.
Statutory guidelines for teaching relate to curricular content, issued by Ofqual, and other Dfe requirements to be embraced across the school as correct practise eg safeguarding, teaching standards.
Private schools additionally set their own t&cs for teachers to fit their private ethos and business models.
Amidst all of that, there is no compulsion on "methodology" per se.

All you've done is started an argument. Well done.

Surely following your call the charity is going to try and sell their courses to the school. You wanted information to help you but essentially you gave the charity a lead as well by identifying for them a school that might be interested in their services. Have they fed back to you with the information you wanted?

I get a sense your motivations were connected to power (you feeling power and demonstrating it- “I’ve been on a course you know”) and being “right” (because you clearly know best).
Perhaps your own school experience and the emotional response it brings up that has stopped you from communicating with school directly, using the appropriate channels. However there’s nothing to stop you from accessing the complaints procedure and following it now. That would have been the more productive approach in the first place OP but perhaps the charity passing on your concern will allow you to have an open dialogue so you can share your wisdom and expertise.

Who would be the correct contact at the charity to find out how the information was passed on?

God, @HarvestSky don't contact the charity to try to find out how this happened! That would be a really inappropriate demand on their time. They aren't the kind of charity that has to have strict confidentiality protocols around their interactions. They don't owe you a duty of privacy, so your questioning of them about this wouldn't be a way of helping them to tighten up on lax procedures. It would just be a slightly unhinged way of roping strangers in to your anxiety about what the school thinks of you.

It doesn't even seem certain that they mentioned your name -- rather than the school just putting two and two together. If they did mention your name that's not ideal, but it probably reflects the fact that they aren't working in a context/role where confidentiality has to be a taught procedure

Who says it's better apart from the charity?

Is this something to do with PHSE / religion?

Charities who's business involves disclosures from service users typically do offer a level of confidentiality. They will be bound by GDPR legislation for one thing, but generally have additional policies that require consent to share your details with third parties.
However, charities would not usually progress a users matter by relying on one of their workers knowing the third party socially and having a quiet word. So the whole thing sounds a little... 'informal'.
Ask them for a copy of their confidentiality and GDPR policies and if they've breeched them, ask for their complaints procedure. In the absence of any, contact the manager/chair of trustees.

What are the results like for that topic ?

As a Governor, we meet with Leadership, and Subject Leads to go through their improvement plans for their subjects, twice a year. There is already scrutiny from Governors, and subjects where results are lower than anticipated will get special attention. If the results are fine, it’s unlikely Governors will do anything. The “style” is a school issue, teachers have different styles, and thats ok.

Were you in the room when the lesson you disagree with was taught?

I think it’s impossible to know what response to give without knowing the subject. If it’s maths and the teacher is saying that people should do algebra based on star signs (absurd example), then of course it needs to be challenged. If it’s pshe and children are being taught about subjects that a fundamentalist religious charity disapproves of then perhaps nots

I admit that this was my first thought too!

So you’ve been on a teaching course for the subject?

Your unwillingness to disclosure the subject involved makes this whole post pointless. No one can tell you if you were unreasonable or not when they have such scant information.

This can only ever be about trans somehow. You just know.

If you were "dissatisfied with the teaching methods of a specialist subject" then of course another way of dealing with it would be to support your child in how they receive those methods. I mean, it wasn't yourself being taught was it? And there must have been something that prompted your "dissatisfaction", and that can only be a negative perception or outcome for your child.

I think you were ridiculous to go to the charity. The school will have a published procedure for parental concerns, including what to do if you don't think they are responding to your satisfaction.
But instead you've decided to take it elsewhere. Reminds me of squabbling siblings stropping and saying "right then, I'm telling on you".

You have not really addressed this productively and probably caused a bit of professional tension somewhere along the line.

Go back to the roots of it-why were you even dissatisfied?

Why does mn think parents can’t complain when things aren’t right because teachers are perfect? Op spoke to school, was still unhappy so sought further advice which she planned to use as evidence to support her when speaking to the school again in the hope of a resolution. Totally normal.

This.
It's impossible to advise if we dont know what the alleged poor practice is, and whether it constitutes a safety ir other safeguarding risk