AIBU to expect confidentiality after raising concerns with a charity?

Chiming in to say we need more details, specifically which subject and what was the perceived problem with the way it has been taught? If it was a H & S issue in PE, DT, or Science that's very different to gender and religious teaching in PSHE and RE.
FWIW all subjects have an advisory body and many of these are run as charities.
Oh, and 'props' to the OP for posting this in the school holidays so teachers are free to engage 😁

I'm inclined to agree with pp and think it's PSHE and the OP disagrees with the way it's taught.
If you're not going to give any more details, @HarvestSky , there's little anyone can say.

if I felt so strongly about it and it was important I would not have cared if teachers were annoyed or not. I would have cared only if it changed something or not.

they already knew you were complaining so what’s the difference?

again if it were something super important but they ignored it I would start escalating to headteacher and above, so charity would be the least of their worries

bottom line: why do you care?

To answer the question you actually asked, if the charity has mentioned your name to the school without you having agreed that they could, then they absolutely have done the wrong thing. If you had agreed with them that a team within the charity could come back to you with some ideas, that is what should have happened. Whether the message to the team got lost in translation or whether they are very amateur in their operations, this is not OK.

I can see that whether your plan was good or bad, over the top or not, you’re now in an embarrassing situation and you’ve not had the chance to consider the information provided by the charity and how you might raise it (or not even raise it at all) with school.

I think you should write a short and to the point email to the most senior person at the charity explain what has happened, make clear that you did not ask them to contact the school and you never gave them permission to pass on your name. Make clear that you are writing to raise an issue about their internal processes, and that on no account are they to contact the school again or discuss you or the enquiry you made. If they are any good, they will use this information to make sure that this doesn’t happen again. But don’t pursue it and turn it into a new crusade!

As for what you do with the school, I think I’d say that the charity got in a muddle, that you weren’t criticising the school, you are just very interested in the charity’s work and you wanted to see what they had on offer because you were thinking of mentioning the charity to the teachers if they seemed to have good ideas/resources. And whether you should have done all this in the first place or not, just back off and give up on the idea.

I've not been a school governor for some years now but the school used to buy in, or subscribe to certain courses for certain subject. I know there were a few different phonics schemes and several options for maths. They were obliged to stick with them for a set period of time.
Some worked well, some didnt. For those that didn't the school would research alternatives, speak to other schools that used them and try to see what would be best for their pupils, so thay once they could switch, they were fully informed.

Ah, I see what you mean, and I think you may well be right.

Come on op. It’s either sex or religion. Why be coy

I don't understand why you are being so coy about the details of this. The only parties to the matter sre the school and the charity, and they both know who you are?
It's really difficult to answer from the vague outline you have given

The vague reference to a subject that teachers are being trained in by a charity has lead to the assumption that the charity is Stonewall and the training is alphabet soup.

Either the teachers are teaching there are only 2 sexes and OP disagrees or they are teaching alphabet soup and OP disagrees.

Questions have been asked if it was outdated First Aid teaching too but since @HarvestSky hasn't said anything on the subject, no one knows.

I’m not sure why people are bringing up transgender. Have I missed something.

I thought religion

Oh my mistake, you are clearly more qualified than teachers with degrees in teaching.

This context is very much needed in order for you to get any meaningful replies OP.
As a science teacher we do indeed teach things that are wrong, but it is information that will allow the students to pass the exams and is appropriate for their level of understanding and development eg lock and key vs induced fit model of enzymes at GCSE vs A level, or many other examples. If you listened in to a lesson like that, or read my ppts after a lesson you may well think I am ill informed if you haven’t cross checked it with the specification.
If it is about teaching how to do CPR and the method is out of date and considered dangerous for all then that is a very different situation.

I don’t get the feeling this is about teachers refusing to reflect on best practice however.

I think they should have kept it confidential. I'm sorry they weren't supportive OP. I'd complain to them (at the lowest level).

I also don't understand the reaction here. You want the best for your child and they aren't getting it . You have been polite and correct although you made a mistake mentioning the school's name to others.

This is such an odd way to go about things.

Surely, if you thought the school could benefit from the charity's help, you could have given the school their details and recommended them.

Are you actually an expert on this subject (as in have post graduate qualifications in it etc) or is it purely a special interest that you have done courses in, like those offered by the charity?

OP is welcome to challenge but has to do it sensitively and reflect on whether the charity approach is "better" or they are "selling" a product.
There are snake oil educational charities out there!

Me too

Gosh some very defensive 'teachers must never be questioned' replies on here. Might have helped if you had said in your Op that you had tried with the school first as apparently posters can't read updates.

To answer your question, yes I'd have expected the charity to keep your details confidential. It sounds like there was a misunderstanding with how your enquiry was passed on to the person you were trying to contact. So instead of getting back to you wiih advice they went straight to the school. That still seems a bit of a strange response, why wouldn't they contact you first to discuss before acting.

Anyway, ignore all the posters saying you aren't allowed an opinion on a subject unless you are a trained teacher (who are apparently beyond any challenge or learning anything new) and see how you can get on with working with the school / governors.

Is it part of this charities role to deal with complaints? Or were you just asking them to confirm you are right and the school is wrong?

What's the subject OP? It's very hard to comment knowing nothing of the nature of your complaint.

I suspect the charity may not have mentioned you by name at all but complaints about how subjects are taught are very rare so it will have been pretty obvious where it came from.

The school will have a formal complaints policy - it should be on their website. I'd suggest you look that up and follow the process if you're not satisfied with how the matter has been dealt with so far.

However, unless what they're doing is contrary to statutory guidance eg the national curriculum or Keeping Children Safe in Education; or just plain wrong eg teaching children flat earth theories, then I would be very surprised if they were to change it tbh. I think you would need a much stronger argument than "I don't like your approach."

OP throw us a bone here....

Is this 1) a basic academic skill eg maths/english 2) an artistic skill eg musical instrument 3) a life skill eg CPR 4) social teaching eg RE/teaching about transgender/LGBTQ?

Is it 1) A respectable charity with evidence based teaching eg CPR course through the BHF or 2) A charity which could be seen as more contraversial eg Mermaids?

This does make a difference so you're not going to get meaningful advice unless you give us some sort of idea

@HarvestSky The conformational language of some posters here is really unhelpful. I understand the pressures on school teachers but a really important part of teaching is reflection and self-improvement. Sometimes the prompt is within the classroom but parents are also part of the education of children and can work with schools and teachers to improve learning.

You are a parent trying to provide feedback in an area that is important to you. You had a concern about teaching, you raised it with the school, you sought advice from specialists to progress the conversation/complaint with the school. It sounds as if the information passed on wasn't done so "officially" by the charity i.e. not through an agreed process for handling complaints. It sounds like it was done informally through personal contact. If that's the case, I would email the charity and ask about their usual processes and flag the impact of what has happened. Whether you can expect confidentiality depends on their policies. I think it sounds like you could expect discretion.

As far as contact with the school and any awkwardness it has created, it's ok. They know now. Can you have a "clear the air" type conversation? Pass on the information you get from the charity and offer a discussion for follow up. The key here is to present your concerns in a way that shows your are willing to work together for the benefit of children's education.

I can imagine some schools and teachers will scoff when they're fire fighting daily. Ideally though it should be possible to raise concerns and talk about it. We can't have any profession with such a valuable role being closed to scrutiny. Saying - you're not there, you don't know - isn't ok. Parents and teachers are in this together.