AIBU - mini eggs and mum

@Lmnop22 People with teeth can choke, hope this helps

That’s very correct. Over the decades, I’ve treated adults with no special needs, who have choked on a range of foods, that are common everyday foods e.g. marshmallows, macadamia nut. Occasionally, someone even dies. Do we ban marshmallows and macadamia’s? Or, do we ban them until kids are 18yo and can make up their own mind re risk? There has to be a point where people are proficient enough eaters, special needs aside, where we take the risk with foods surely or are you advocating people cutting up grapes for teenagers like some in here have said they do?

I’ve also had people die while walking down footpaths minding their business, being hit by random out of control cars and heaps of other random freaky stuff. It didn’t stop myself or letting my kids walk on footpaths as surely it’s a risk assessment. Probably the same with kids and food, up to each parent to determine when their kids are proficient enough at using their teeth and chewing* rather than using the line ‘if they have teeth they can choke’, which is what is likely leading to people cutting up grapes for teens and probably not daring to give them entire sausages.

*Not sure movement has much to do with it, as while we initially teach children to sit still while they eat, when you think about it, as older kids, teens and adults we all chew just fine while walking about, not many people ‘have’ to stay still to eat safely, again special needs excepted.

When I did my most recent first aid course, the instructor said the worst food for choking is marshmallows because they are so soft and sticky that you can't dislodge it, unlike some solid items where (if you're lucky) some decent coughing, back slaps or thrusts will clear it out. She told us a particularly harrowing story of a child who had died in a cafe from choking on marshmallow (instructor worked for the ambulance service). Never let my DC have it since then and I'm not usually one to be anxious about that sort of thing!

Idk, reasonable request or not (and you know your kid best. Mine is fine with mini eggs, but has a classmate who is constantly being sent to the school nurse for choking at snack time), you set a clear boundary, a your mum is ignoring it. Whether it’s mini eggs, no car seat for a short ride, don’t worry about your helmet, or whatever you’re being told you’re being too much about, your kid is watching and learning about what boundaries mean. At the very least have a conversation with your kid about why you make decisions to keep her safe and what it means when people ignore them.

I think you are getting odd poll results because you asked a combined question.
I think you are completely OTT to be saying no to mini eggs because of a choking risk. So I said yabu. But I do think your mum should either do what you ask, or have a conversation if she too thinks you are mildly crazy rather than just ignore you.

I think there is a very natural point where reasonable caring grandparents who think their kids have turned into paranoid anxious parents allow some things they know the parent wouldn’t like because they think it’s healthy and balanced for the kids, and that’s not the same as grandparents steamrolling over your boundaries.
your mum says she makes sure your dc crunches it- that’s a responsible approach to teaching a 7yo safe behaviours, and far better than saying a 7yo can’t have mini eggs which is frankly unreasonable. I have a 7yo and am generally a fairly strict parent in lots of ways.

however there seem to be a lot of chocolates and perhaps too much junk food in your child’s interaction with gps which would make me unhappy if it’s regular.

It’s the fact you told her not to give her them, she should have listened and did what you asked, regardless of what it was

Have to say it wouldn't be my first choice for my 6yr old either - there are so many other options that don't pose as much of a choking risk.
As others have said, regardless of her thoughts on the matter, it's the undermining and going against your wishes that would get me!

OP. This is silly and irrational. The likelihood of choking on a mini egg is so tiny ... If you're feeling nervous about this remote possibility, then I suggest a) doing a good course on infant first aid and resuscitation, b) supervising your child while she eats and c) reminding yourself, with verified data if necessary, how unlikely this sort of accident actually is.

If all else fails, Waitrose had little boxes of teeny weeny mini eggs (Waitrose own brand, not Cadbury) which look like mini eggs but are so small they probably wouldn't choke a hamster. I think they're intended as Easter cake toppings but dear god they were cute. Get those.

@Heynow87 I cannot think of how to write this without sounding patronising, I do mean this kindly.

If your 7 yr old DC is "prone to choking" (or at least gagging) to this extent, then maybe they need to be seen by a medical professional.

@Housemovehopeful2024 Whilst I do think that your mother should respect your wishes, you do need to think about whether your concerns are keeping your child safe.

You cannot oversee food offered at school, playdates or parties. It never crossed my mind to not offer certain foods or continue cutting up foods for my DC or their friends from 5yrs+, so it is something to bear in mind when your DD eats anywhere other than home.

I remember reading a while back about a girl aged around 7 choking on a grape and she sadly died. I didn't allow my son to have whole grapes until he was around 10. Not bothered who thinks that's OTT.

How long are you not going to take the risk for? At 6 your DC is still at more risk of fatal chocking. But 7 year olds aren’t at more risk than older children. Are you banning mini eggs until they’re adults? Have you considered the impact of highlighting tiny risks on their mental health?

Possibly she thinks that it’s a totally pointless/unreasonable rule* and she sees her role as grandma being to be the one who gets to break the pointless rules (as most grandparents do) to develop her own relationship with her DGC that isn’t simply about doing as she’s told.

*pointless as a hardline, never ever do it thing, not necessarily as a not something we do everyday rule.

I voted YANBU. Its about levels of risk. Mini eggs have a higher risk than other chocolates due to their shape and smooth hard shell. When there's aisles full of chocolate of all shapes and sizes to choose from, why would you choose the one with more risk attached. My 6yo hasn't had mini eggs, which is a conscious choice. He's quite happy with other chocolate so why take the risk.

Oh come on the shops have been full of Easter eggs since Boxing Day. It might not be Easter but people have been chomping away at mini eggs for weeks now for goodness sake.

OP I’m paranoid about choking, my DS is away on a school trip this week and when getting his snacks I deliberately didn’t get him any mini eggs and he’s a teenager. I know that’s crazy obviously but teen boys do daft things like sit at the back of the coach and try to catch sweets with their mouths etc.

But it's the hard shell and the solidness of the chocolate, not just the size and shape that poses such a risk. I am guessing that a malteser would much more quickly start to melt in the throat. Although I wouldn't want to test my theory.

I'd have thought a seven year old would be able to chew mini eggs well enough, have never heard of them being a choking danger for that age. Younger, yes.

However if you say she shouldn't have them, your mother needs to respect that.
Why is she so obsessed with Easter eggs anyway? It's not Easter until Sunday.

A few years ago when we were organising a PTA Easter event thing, the Head teacher (primary school) banned us using mini-eggs due to them being a choking hazard for the children. I must admit that I rolled my eyes (metaphorically!) at this decree but a quick google showed a horrible news story about a 5 year old child dying from choking on one. This was despite her mum trying to use first aid to dislodge the egg.

The HV service 'had a death at that age'

I cant scroll back and check the exact wording but I think that was it.

Unlike the dig you had at me? Complete with laughter emoticons. No problem thread monitor

I presume the HV said it as advice for the future, no?

If I’ve learned nothing else from this thread - and I haven’t - it’s that you can choke on things other than mini eggs and you can still choke even when you have teeth.

It was a silly thing to write and an unkind dig at someone! You know it.

Never thought of them as a choking risk so mine ate them from pre-school age I'm sure, but if you say no your mum should do what you say.

I do think you are being over cautious but as the parent, it's absolutely your shout.

Other foods than mini eggs can cause choking, so why are they being singled out? Hope THAT helps.