AIBU - mini eggs and mum

I don’t think it’s a hill to die on if your Mum loves and cares for your daughter and is otherwise respecting you.

Easters almost over! You’re safe for another year.

Never heard of a 7 year old choking on chocolate mini eggs.

YABU about mini eggs for a 7-year old and your mother is BU for ignoring your wishes, given all the other types of sweet and chocolate you apparently don’t have a problem with that she could offer your dd instead, which are a safer shape. I’m sure your mother will manage to find an inappropriate alternative, though! 🤣 Imvho, sweets designed to be sucked are more dangerous than mini eggs for both choking and dental health, so count yourself lucky your mother doesn’t keep giving her Werther’s Originals.

I have currently opted not to see my grandchildren because of the incredibly prescriptive set of rules that was being put in operation.

Things like car seats, supervision around proximity to traffic, avoiding any foods that might avoid allergic reactions are all absolutely fine. But there just needs to be a little a bit of flexibility, for grandparents who are freely giving their time to provide regular care and support.

If parents want their minute rules to be followed every minute of the day, then they should employ a nanny/find a nursery or childminder that is willing to follow their set of protocols.

I don't think your necessarily being unreasonable. All mothers have different things they worry about. When do you think your daughter will be able to manage them though? 7 should be fine, but maybe rather than banning them give your daughter some good guidelines for eating them. As pp has mentioned she may get them from someone else.

But surely you can see that the overall risk of choking on any of these food items is really, really low?

I do worry a lot about the ability of people nowadays to assess relative risks rationally. We obviously focus on the horror stories and social media means these circulate like wildfire (not all of them true, either) along with 'helpful' graphics showing all the foods you must never, ever give your child. (this is just an example - I'm not sure there's an aspect of child-raising or being pregnant that isn't now over-thought and catastrophised about).

Look - life is unpredictable. You can make it a bit more predictable by curtailing perfectly normal freedoms and activities - no trampoline, no cycling, no going out alone with friends, no mini eggs - but where will you draw the line? You need to address the underlying reason for curtailing these normal things, and it isn't the fact that all of these things are out to kill your children. It's the massively risk-adverse mindset.

I've got a 7 year old and I'm fine with her eating mini eggs. She knows to crunch them and eats when sitting down and concentrating.

But if you told your mum no to a certain food then she should abide by it.

Im wondering if she’s doing it on purpose. My kids eat all kinds of treats throughout the year and haven’t had mini eggs for a year. I’m wondering how it’s come about your mum has given them to her so frequently especially as you’ve specifically said not to.

Putting anything round in yoghurt is ridiculous. It’s what you’d do if you wanted someone to choke.

But you’re right OP, it’s not just about the small circular foods, it’s about not listening to your safety rules. She sounds extremely entitled. There are a million other options out there she could give to your child, she’s clearly making a point and I wouldn’t have it.

Yes. Incidences of choking are just as high with 7 year olds, who by that age often eat more, with less monitoring or cutting.

I mean, essentially any and all food is a choking hazard. Except soup, maybe.

YABU about mini eggs
YANBU about your mum respecting your wishes.
I’d be more concerned about the amount of sweet treats being given in general.

They are the one sweet that I thought I had an irrational dislike of - I now know it’s not irrational. Yes, I can see how dangerous they could be.

This!!

Your mum should respect you.
But a 7 year old has a mature swallow, so she has the same choking risk as an adult.
Are you anxious about her generally or just a choking thing?
I have a colleague who is terrified of her children vomiting and used to limit different foods due to this.

Could you ask your mum to cut them in half? Though I’m not even sure that’s doable.
Your mum should be respecting your decision though. Does she often ignore you?

Is your mum looking after her for you? That's massively relevant to how much you should micromanage.

Not reasonable at all for your mum to disregard what you've said, regardless of what she thinks.

Personally yes, I'd give mini eggs to a 7 year old.

But we are all different as parents in what we are OK with, and what you say goes at the end of the day. It's a lack of respect from your mum.

Literally not what a single poster said.

I disagree about mini eggs being particularly dangerous at age 7, but your mum is unreasonable to not follow your instructions. She's had her time to make parenting decisions, and it's over. She's being pathetic about it, sneaking them in every week just to piss you off.

Re: choking risk, mini eggs are different to grapes because they have a sugar coating that melts in the mouth/throat and lubricates the egg if it gets stuck. Grapes and cherry tomatoes don't have this, so when they get stuck it's extremely dangerous as there is no lubrication to assist in getting them out.

I think it’s 3 and under mini eggs aren’t recommended for.
I think it’s going to be really hard keeping your DC from eating them, didn’t they have any at school up until this point? In R/KS1 at my kids school they have an Easter party on last day before the holidays and they have mini eggs on chocolate nests. Most of the teachers will give them something before the Easter holidays - we’ve had mini sweet cones featuring mini eggs before. They’re just so common this time of year and must be very difficult to avoid them,

It’s a pointless rule, they’re no more a choking risk for a 7 year old than they are an adult. Grandparents are supposed to break silly rules parents have. It’s also an unusual thing for a 7 year old to never had, so benefits your DC in that way giving her more reference points. It’s harmless and your DC will remember it fondly (and wonder why you were so OTT on it!). Just let it go. I say this as someone who is very paranoid about choking and cuts grapes in half until they’ve turned 10!! Well over the 8 guidelines.
Maybe just say she has to eat them sitting down and eat one at a time.

She can’t supervise her child when she’s eating mini eggs, it’s when she’s with her grandmother.

That’s the issue.

”if all else fails, get Waitrose mini eggs” that again is down to the GM, but there is of course options if 1000s of other sweet types in between.

The GM is being obtuse by specifically choosing mini eggs.

As a grandmother, I would never ignore a specific request from my adult children about what I give my grandchildren. Even if I disagree, they aren't my children and I follow their parents' rules.

There are other treats that your mum could give to your daughter that aren't a choking risk but she continues to deliberately ignore your wishes. Is she difficult in other ways?

I’ve seen a 7 year old choke on a skittle before. We tend to avoid hard round sweets completely as they’re terrible for teeth. Absolutely no issue to choose some other sweet treat instead.

Given some of the replies on here I amazed some of you leave the house, Christ.

You are not being unreasonable at all. Grapes, cherry tomatoes, sausages, marshmallows and hard sweets like mini eggs or boiled sweets are the biggest risks for children choking. I would say no to then being given generally ( or in the case of sausa/ grape/ c toms to be cut long ways or quartered)
I would ask your mum why she repeatedly ignores your request (to do it so often seems like a defiance)
At home I would teach your dd to eat these things safely ie not running around , chewing correctly. So if she is given them out and about she knows what to do.

Our health visitor services go up to 19!