AIBU - mini eggs and mum

Well as I said before. The OP can tell her mum she no longer wants her to babysit. I know someone who had a daughter who choked to death on a piece of ham - it is really hard to eliminate every risk - that was my point

I also don't see why mini eggs are a particular risk

You can choke on anything, sure, there's always risk. But if you can remove some easy obvious risk, why wouldn't you? Mini eggs are not compulsary.

The child hasn't choked on a mini egg. She could choke on something at school just as easily. Anyone could. The OP is upset about a cupcake with one mini egg on it? She could choke on a slice of toast - or a nut. Or a crisp
Or an oatcake.

The only way to avoid a choking hazard 100 per cent is to puree food

And I really hope the OPs child doesn't know how worried she is over this - or she'll transfer her fears to her child

Choking creates dead children. Very quickly. All parents react much the same way when they get the news, whether or not they were 'non-anxious' parents previously.

Do you pay her for the childcare she provides? If you really aren't happy then you can say no - you aren't minding her again and ask someone else to do it.

Choking is terrifying so I do understand. Why doesn't your Mum listen to you. My kids make up dome thing I think are silly but I always stick to their rules. Could your mum not use other choclate eggs or cut them in half as it seems to be something you really fear. I saw a great machine for people who live on their own to clear blockages causing choking, I need one as I have almost chocked twice on steak!

@Tryagain26

Totally agree with you. I posted about my friend who saved a 3 year old from choking on a mini egg. Obviously there is a lot of difference between a 3 and a 7 year old BUT it's a chocolate egg - hardly an essential nutritious snack for a child of any age. There are better (and cheaper) chocolate treat alternatives that are MUCH safer for them to eat.

It doesn't make you an anxious parent generally if you say no to mini eggs. You won't turn your DC into an anxious child because you say no to foods that have a higher than normal risk of them choking.

If you have never witnessed a child (or adult) choking then I guess you're the ones thinking the OP is being unreasonable. I will not be giving them to my DGS when he is 3 or 7 for that matter. But you do you.

@Tryagain26 I can assure you anything you put in your mouth is a choking risk at any age. I speak as a 45 year old women who choked on a piece of tofu the other day (and DH had to perform the Heimlich Manoeuvre). Life is full of risks though and we assess them for ourselves and our kids every day. Obviously we can't negate all risks, but there are many we can. For Op this is one she can easily. With all the choices of chocolate on the market for Ops DM to choose, why is she continuing to choose this one (explicitly against ops wishes).

Choking is about the scariest thing. 4 minutes without breathing will cause permanent brain damage and death occurs between 4 to 6 minutes. If your airway is blocked and either you or the people around you can't unblock it you will be dead long before medical attention will reach you.

She is 7, not 2. Is this a joke???? Your fears are not healthy for your child and her development.

Anxious parents create anxious children. You’re not doing them any favours at all.

There is a lot of difference between a 3 year old and a 7 year old (one would hope)
,You need to teach her to est them safely, not baby her like a toddler!

My friend's husband had teeth but managed to choke to death on a cherry in front of her.

She’s only 6, I would say it’s fine to remain cautious when they still quite little even if 4 is technically the cut off point!

She’s probably ignoring you with you being a bit ridiculous

You get to decide if she can't have them.I never gave it a thought for my children or grandchildren and have never been requested not to give them.None of them have liked the Cadburys ones but have had other little eggs, which are not so hard so less likely to cause choking?

Talk about an own goal.

By the time you get over your tantrum you'll have ensured your dc NEVER leaves the gc with you again, even if you deign to see them. And you'll have turned your own grandkids into polite strangers.

It probably won't feel worth it in 20 years. The only person who's likely to lose in this is you.

I have a 5 year old so slightly younger but I don’t like him to have mini eggs, smarties, lollipops or anything like that and I can’t see myself being ok with it when he’s 7 either. I would be fuming if my mum gave them to him when I’ve said not to

I would like to think at 7 she should be able to responsibly eat mini eggs. So with that I think you could relax a little. But regardless, your mum has ignored your requests, which is not ok.

Does she not chew her food?

You're being OTT. She could choke on a piece of baguette, a crisp, a jelly baby, an olive, a piece of apple, a grape, a nut, a bit of pasta, a piece of cucumber, a cube of cheese....

It is not normal for anyone of any age to be "prone to choking". Choking or gagging?

They are 2 very different things, if she is actually choking then she needs medical attention every time it happens.

If she is gagging this much as a 7 yr old, it still sounds like she needs a SALT assessment. She MIGHT have a unsafe swallow. Or an oversensitive gag reflex which means that you may need to introduce foods in their normal form (not cut small) for her to get used to them- similar to babies that were weaned on purees for too long and gag on a mushy lump.

It’s unlikely though, isn’t it. Mini eggs are ok for over 4’s. Unless there’s an issue with choking in general, I personally wouldn’t mind.

However your DM should respect your wishes whatever they are.

I would tell her in person that you disagree with your child having them as they are a choking hazard.

Then send her a text message to say that anything shaped like a little egg or ball the size of ... Can kill your child, I have asked you many times to stop.

Then proceed to tell your mum that you have sent that message, to ensure that if anything ever happens to your child due to a an egg or round small choking hazard, the police will investigate, see the message, and she will be done for murder. And you have the evidence to prove it

I remember when ds1 was about 18 months old, and was having sandwiches for his lunch - I used to religiously cut them up into squares less than a centimetre in size, just to be on the safe side. One day, we were in an Italian restaurant, for a meal, and I tore up some garlic bread into tiny bits for him, and he looked at them, reached over the high chair tray, grabbed a whole slice of garlic bread and chowed down.

I realised I’d been a bit precious, and stopped cutting his sandwiches into teeny tiny bits.

I think that, especially as first time mothers, we are programmed to be very cautious and risk-averse, and a lot of the time, that can be a good thing, but it does tip over into daftness sometimes.

Two separate issues here, @Housemovehopeful2024. Firstly, yes, mini eggs should be safe for a 7 year old. But no, your mum shouldn’t just ignore what you are saying, so you aren’t entirely unreasonable.

If your mum thinks mini eggs are safe, she could have talked to you about it - or she could have shown you the guidance on the packet (that they aren’t for under 4s) - and either you would have accepted that the mini eggs wouldn't pose a danger to your child, or you would have said you still didn’t want her to have them. Either way, she should probably have respected your wishes.