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AIBU?

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Original poster

Anyone else find self care totally tedious?

169 replies

binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 21:27

So much stuff needs doing just to keep ourselves going. Shower, wash hair, brush teeth, dry self, put on clean clothes. Every single day except maybe for hair washing. What a pain. I don't even wear make up or bother moisturising, but still find it so tedious. That's before we even do the feeding our bodies bit!

OP posts:
HintofVintagePink · 31/03/2026 22:21

If you do nothing else, floss and wear SPF50

Morriba · 31/03/2026 22:16

Nails machines would be so much better if they actually fired nails at people. If you were in a meeting with some duffer at work talking about enhancing employee wellbeing through fruit, for example, you could get your little nails machine out and skewer the fucker in the eye with a rainbow catface acrylic.

ThatLimeBiscuit · 31/03/2026 22:14

I hate the thought of showering but once I’m in I love it and don’t want to get out! I don’t mind skincare and teeth brushing as it’s just so ingrained in my routines I don’t feel like I think about it that much.

I don’t particularly enjoy cooking or feeding myself and because I’m just cooking for myself it’s even more boring. I eat healthily but a lot of the same things over and over 😂 Every so often I get a Hello Fresh box to mix it up a bit!

Waitingfordoggo · 31/03/2026 22:14

I hear you. I just see them as chores and get no pleasure out of most of them so I minimise what I do. I actually enjoy housework more than ’self-care’ of this type.

I do enjoy showers- usually take very short ones, 3-4 mins is enough.

I do not enjoy: hair washing, cutting my nails, flossing and doing the interdental brushes, brushing my hair (styling doesn’t even enter the equation- I have no ability or patience for that), moisturising, exfoliating, shaving, applying make up.

I only have to wash my hair once a week so I’m grateful for that. I obviously do the teeth twice a day as that is non-negotiable. All the other stuff is very infrequent/sporadic though. I’d rather use the time for napping/reading/dog snuggling.

I love exercise though, and that is definitely self-care.

Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 22:12

Alittlefrustrated · 31/03/2026 22:08

I've started encouraging friends to go out for early teatime pub grub, instead of nice restaurants because I can't be arsed with glamming up. Day to day it's a pain in the arse but I do shower, style hair, and wear makeup. Makeup is getting simpler and simpler though. Eg no mascara, and lip balm has replaced lipstick and liner, bronzer has replaced foundation.

I don't style hair or wear any make up, just can't put that amount of effort in. I tried long hair and it nearly killed me.

OP posts:
Gowlett · 31/03/2026 22:10

I like buying all fancy shampoos, face creams, make-up etc… But then I just end up lashing on the nearest pound shop shampoo & go. I love the idea of it all, but I simply can’t be arsed. I’ve got eyebrow dye, teeth whitening kit & a nails machine all gathering dust in the back of my cupboard.

Morriba · 31/03/2026 22:10

That's not like any David Bowie I've ever seen. Maybe he needs a spa day.

Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 22:10

Morriba · 31/03/2026 22:03

I wouldn't class this as self care, more as general maintenance which, yes, is not exciting but it is necessary.

One thing I've noticed is that I always always feel bad if I don't do these things. Disproportionately so, compared to the effort of doing them. So doing them is a good bargain.

I think you are right that general maintenance is a better word, I wasn't sure what to call it.. maintenance captures it better.

OP posts:
Bufftailed · 31/03/2026 22:09

It all feels like a chore. Working at home has made it more of a chore.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 31/03/2026 22:08

Lazycrazy · 31/03/2026 21:57

Fuck it. Don’t do it.

You have to brush your teeth obviously but a slob day is hardly going to kill you. Today I have not brushed my hair, not had a shower. Not done anything really. Well actually I have done lots of things - finished all my seed sowing, made a cake, cleaned upstairs. But no self care.

Normalize seed-sowing and cake-baking as self-care. Don’t buy into the shampoo propaganda. Viva la revolucion. (Shite, there’s no Che Guevara emoji - closest I can do is this Lidl-version of David Bowie 👨🏻‍🎤 )

Alittlefrustrated · 31/03/2026 22:08

I've started encouraging friends to go out for early teatime pub grub, instead of nice restaurants because I can't be arsed with glamming up. Day to day it's a pain in the arse but I do shower, style hair, and wear makeup. Makeup is getting simpler and simpler though. Eg no mascara, and lip balm has replaced lipstick and liner, bronzer has replaced foundation.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 31/03/2026 22:04

binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 21:54

FFSTto everything - I blitz through them at top speed to get them over and done with. No lotions and potions. Get in the shower, out in 3 minutes if not washing hair. Get these dull boring tasks done asap

Completely get it. Also, my outlook on depression and physical issues probably isn’t much use to you 😂 Sorry about that! But yes, can absolutely understand just blitzing through it as quickly as possible. For some people, a 30-minute shower filled with smells and potions sounds like heaven, and for some of us, it sounds like hell. I think it’s a horses for courses thing?

Morriba · 31/03/2026 22:03

I wouldn't class this as self care, more as general maintenance which, yes, is not exciting but it is necessary.

One thing I've noticed is that I always always feel bad if I don't do these things. Disproportionately so, compared to the effort of doing them. So doing them is a good bargain.

Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 22:02

Lazycrazy · 31/03/2026 21:57

Fuck it. Don’t do it.

You have to brush your teeth obviously but a slob day is hardly going to kill you. Today I have not brushed my hair, not had a shower. Not done anything really. Well actually I have done lots of things - finished all my seed sowing, made a cake, cleaned upstairs. But no self care.

Yes, I regularly award myself a slob day and just brush my teeth.

OP posts:
Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 22:01

clamshell24 · 31/03/2026 21:56

Who does all that? Short hair and no makeup, shower and style, moisturiser. 5 mins max.

All what? I have short hair, no make up, rarely moistrise but have to clean body, hair and teeth, dry, find clean clothes and put them on. Doesn't take long but my god is it boring.

OP posts:
Lmnop22 · 31/03/2026 21:58

binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 21:46

Thank you for the thought but I hate perfumed toiletries, only like plain functional unscented cleaning products that just do the job.

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You actually just sound very practical and likely think these things are a total inconvenience to well laid plans!

Lazycrazy · 31/03/2026 21:57

Fuck it. Don’t do it.

You have to brush your teeth obviously but a slob day is hardly going to kill you. Today I have not brushed my hair, not had a shower. Not done anything really. Well actually I have done lots of things - finished all my seed sowing, made a cake, cleaned upstairs. But no self care.

clamshell24 · 31/03/2026 21:56

Who does all that? Short hair and no makeup, shower and style, moisturiser. 5 mins max.

Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 21:55

Hopefulsalmon · 31/03/2026 21:47

I hate it too.I particularly loathe getting dried after a shower it takes so long to get properly dry. I hardly ever bother shaving.

Yes drying is the worst bit I think

OP posts:
Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 21:54

FFSTto everything - I blitz through them at top speed to get them over and done with. No lotions and potions. Get in the shower, out in 3 minutes if not washing hair. Get these dull boring tasks done asap

OP posts:
Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 21:49

I'm glad there are others like me! To stress, I am neurotypical, not depressed, very fit and healthy. Just find these tasks repetitive and boring. But in a low key way, not like I'm sobbing in the shower every day at having to wash my bits! I am giving very heavy sighs though.

OP posts:
Hopefulsalmon · 31/03/2026 21:47

I hate it too.I particularly loathe getting dried after a shower it takes so long to get properly dry. I hardly ever bother shaving.

MightyGoldBear · 31/03/2026 21:46

Yes yes yes.
I'm likely audhd, I find all of it a faff and exhausting but I find myself feeling lower when I don't keep a certain level of routine. It's definitely not depression for me much more aligned with 24 7 exhaustion. I flip flop from having periods where I do the bare minimum to then adding
extras in to feel more myself but then more exhausted. Its quite the cycle 🫠
Having children has definitely made it worse but I also remember feeling utterly exhausted as a teenager having to plan when I would wash my hair and this never ending self care routine.

I dislike the hairdresser and any appointment like that too.

Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 21:46

Lmnop22 · 31/03/2026 21:43

Fair enough!

Maybe get yourself some nice fancy shower gel to look forward to using or something to make it more enjoyable?

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Thank you for the thought but I hate perfumed toiletries, only like plain functional unscented cleaning products that just do the job.

OP posts:
Catza · 31/03/2026 21:45

binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 21:41

I am not remotely depressed. I'm very active, gym three times a week, sea swimming, walking. Just hate doing these tasks that have to do everything day just to maintain myself and don't give pleasure, the way exercise does.

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Yes, that's another difficulty with hair wash - having to make decisions how to organise it around exercise!