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Original poster

Anyone else find self care totally tedious?

169 replies

binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 21:27

So much stuff needs doing just to keep ourselves going. Shower, wash hair, brush teeth, dry self, put on clean clothes. Every single day except maybe for hair washing. What a pain. I don't even wear make up or bother moisturising, but still find it so tedious. That's before we even do the feeding our bodies bit!

OP posts:
pippapipps · 01/04/2026 00:39

I say it all the time I absolutely hate having to wash and dry my hair with a vengeance 😩 I wash it twice a week but I bloody dread it and the shaving legs , de fuzzing underarms, plucking eyebrows..yes op I find it really tedious even having to shower irritates me sometimes..glad I’m not the only one 😩🤣

BauhausOfEliott · 01/04/2026 00:24

I love it, personally. Doesn’t feel at all like a chore. I really enjoy cleansing my face, putting on skincare, putting makeup on etc. Also love washing my hair.

Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 01/04/2026 00:23

IfOnlyYouWouldListen · 01/04/2026 00:16

There's people that don't hate these tasks? Honestly I just assumed they're a necessary evil and everyone hated them. Not necessarily every task all the time (I know that some enjoy say a nice bath) but the fact they need doing so often and reliably no matter what else is going on.

I know, but people keep saying I must be depressed! I'm not remotely depressed.

OP posts:
Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 01/04/2026 00:23

MrsCarmelaSoprano · 01/04/2026 00:20

I agree with others,this sounds like depression.

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I can promise you it isn't. I am a very happy, energetic, person with a very full life. I just find these tasks repetitive and boring.

OP posts:
MrsCarmelaSoprano · 01/04/2026 00:20

binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 21:43

Isn't it? Every day. When I'm finally dressed, clean, presentable, it's like I've won a little battle.

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I agree with others,this sounds like depression.

IfOnlyYouWouldListen · 01/04/2026 00:16

There's people that don't hate these tasks? Honestly I just assumed they're a necessary evil and everyone hated them. Not necessarily every task all the time (I know that some enjoy say a nice bath) but the fact they need doing so often and reliably no matter what else is going on.

Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 23:59

BeebeeBoyle · 31/03/2026 23:53

I think to term the very basics of personal hygiene as "self care" is to be embracing the language of Instagram rather too much.
You'll be gifting your child a birthday card next.

Yes, I admit not a great term, I couldn't think what to call it. The pp who called it general maintenance had a better term for it.

OP posts:
BeebeeBoyle · 31/03/2026 23:53

I think to term the very basics of personal hygiene as "self care" is to be embracing the language of Instagram rather too much.
You'll be gifting your child a birthday card next.

Baital · 31/03/2026 23:30

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 31/03/2026 23:20

It’s all self indulgent bollocks! I shower and wash my hair every day and that’s it.

Im about as low maintenance as it gets!

Congratulations.

Some of us struggle.

Original poster
binnibonnieboo · 31/03/2026 23:26

Actually now that I think of it, teeth are the worst. I brush and use interdental brushes but can't fliss, it makes me gag

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 31/03/2026 23:20

It’s all self indulgent bollocks! I shower and wash my hair every day and that’s it.

Im about as low maintenance as it gets!

Baital · 31/03/2026 23:07

I can't be bothered with anything cosmetic. I struggle with the routine hygiene tasks and always have, was diagnosed with depression in my teens and have never really managed to get a routine. But some things - a quick shower, a soak in the bath - do feel good so easier to make a regular habit. Other than that, it's social pressure to be presentable that is the motivator. It's a necessary chore.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 31/03/2026 23:01

I’m with you, OP. I also hate feeling grubby. You can’t win.

Wiseplumant · 31/03/2026 22:48

Loathe it always have, can't wait to be a disembodied spirit.

FantasiaTurquoise · 31/03/2026 22:48

I get it. I don't have time to moisturise, my hygienist says I don't floss properly, I know I don't do my kegels enough and I am way behind with my waxing but as fast as I do it the bloody hair grows back. It's just all so relentless!

Beesandhoney123 · 31/03/2026 22:46

I set aside 15 mins each day to rotate through my tasks of self care. I wfh mostly but always style my hair, make up, look smart as I can. This includes tidying dressing table, washing brushes, cleaning hairbrush over the course of a month, sorting clothes, cleaning shoes, whatever takes a very short time.

I think it's just how you make it a habit. With the dc I encouraged it daily from small, starting with clean trimmed nails, clean tidy hair, and more as they got older. To be presentable at least! I didn't grow up with a daily routine and didn't bother with hair, make up, outside all the time. So it's been a slog to make it a habit.
It's nice though, to know I can be ready for any occasion, just hair brush, change clothes, lip gloss and go:)

MrsMillyFluff · 31/03/2026 22:39

This sounds silly. I don't mind showering, but I find drying myself really tiring. I only shower once every two days because of this. My toenails look like a witches dream and I rarely shave because it's all too tiresome.

Neighboursnumber1fan · 31/03/2026 22:35

dustymusty · 31/03/2026 22:28

My dog spends HOURS grooming!

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So does mine, but only at 3am and very loudly

Rainallnight · 31/03/2026 22:31

I hear you, OP. I’m bad at it, to the point I think I’m ever so slightly self neglectful. I’m on various medications and I’m not brilliant at taking them consistently. I even find brushing my teeth very day hard.

Monthlymonster · 31/03/2026 22:31

Urgh same OP! Also not depressed in any way, would just rather be doing a million other things than standing naked under running water, washing my hair, removing hair from my body, brushing my teeth, flossing my teeth, removing my make up etc etc. Just absolutely tedious.

Artemis130 · 31/03/2026 22:30

dustymusty · 31/03/2026 22:28

My dog spends HOURS grooming!

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😂

OK so does my cat. But she does it just when she feels like it.

dustymusty · 31/03/2026 22:28

Artemis130 · 31/03/2026 21:42

Yes I wish I could live like a cat or dog or something and just have fur and go from sleeping to leaving the house without having to think about any of that stuff.

Edited

My dog spends HOURS grooming!

Rainallnight · 31/03/2026 22:27

Shithotlawyer · 31/03/2026 21:31

I read recently about PDA that it can show up in high functioning maskers as an eagerness to complete all external tasks in order to drown out the calls of the body.... and I thought oh fuck that's me.

That’s interesting - can you share a link?

JLou08 · 31/03/2026 22:27

I find showering really tough. It feels like such a huge task. I love being clean but getting there is hard, hair washing is such a pain. I know logically it's not much, it takes me about an hour to wash, moisture and dry/style hair, but I find it more overwhelming than going and doing a full day at work.

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 31/03/2026 22:25

I get it, OP. Brushing my teeth is now such a rigmarole since being perimenopausal that I loathe it.

My gums have definitely received more attention over the past few years in perimenopause only because I've started being much more sensitive to plaque, thanks to the horrid hormonal fluctuations. So, more plaque, more gingivitis and inflammation, and bleeding sore gums. I never had any of these issues when younger. Now... electric toothbrush, floss, interdental brushes, mouthwash - things i did before but never worried about. Generally my teeth feel more sensitive and sore these days, so oral care is something I absolutely loathe.

Showers aren't too bad, but baths are getting out of my routine as my stupid hormonal fluctuations have again made vulval skin drier, so worse when lounging in hot water for ages.

Self care used to be my go- to for feeling good and attractive. Now, it just highlights how my body is changing and ageing, hence why I hate it more.