Anyone else find self care totally tedious?

Why do people not shower before bed when they’ve been active all day, often outside, sweaty?

I have absolutely no idea what "self care" is.
If you mean washing regularly and washing your hair, cleaning your teeth twice a day, ensuring that you change your underclothes and socks regularly, is this not just normal behaviour that most people do?
If I am missing something, do, please, tell me!

As you have established you are not really referring to ‘ self care ‘ but the things you have to do to maintain a basic standard of personal hygiene.

I could stand in a hot shower for 15 mins exfoliating, clarifying, tweezing and plucking but if you were to strip back all my shower rituals considered self care then I too would find the daily requirement of getting wet, then getting dry tediously boring too.

Apart from the shower and hair wash I would agree with you. I’m paranoid about smelling so it’s non-negotiable, but we are sold the myth that it makes us feel better when it’s more likely that any good feeling is down to thinking you look good for other people

There's a lot of "self care" that's actually more aimed to how you look, which is more to impress other people than it is to make you feel better. As I've got older, I've done less and less of what you might term "self care". There's no need to wash your hair every day, shave every day, moisturise every day etc. I do it when it will make me FEEL good, not just to LOOK good for other people.

Of course the basics such as teeth brushing and making sure I don't smell are always taken care of. But you don't have to put every item of clothing in the wash after one wear. People are so wasteful it's unreal.

Tbf showering/hair wash is the only thing I do daily no matter want as long as I’m clean, the rest of it is just a waste of time

Im amazed how many of you have this negative feeling about showering! It's just a few minutes that makes you feel and smell so much better. I dont see it as a chore at all! I only wash hair two or three times a week and I also like the sensation and benefit of clean hair that comes from that. I spend minimal time on all this, I definitely wouldn't classify it is self care, or a chore its just a quick bit of the day?

Just thought I'd share that I have always been exactly as you described, and a friend recommended I watch some You Tube videos by a Canadian lady who goes by the name of Clutterbug. Can't recommend highly enough. I have finally got my shit together in my early 50s becauwe of this woman! I found her hard gping at first, but got used to her & I'm so glad I did. My house is now never messy, even qhen I'm at my lowest ebb, it's still under control and manageable.

I have very long, thick hair. It takes ages to wash out the shampoo and conditioner and to dry it.

I can cope with the usual daily stuff, it's the tasks that happen every few days, weekly etc that are a pain. Trim nails, clean ears, trim nose hair haha. How am I supposed to establish a routine for these?

I developed a chronic illness around 5 years ago and am chronically fatigued. Until then I didn’t realise how utterly draining all this shit it. I still manage to shower, do my skincare and clean my teeth properly every day, wash my hair every other day and wear make up when I need to, but cooking had to fall by the wayside a long time ago. I find all of it exhausting and it pisses me off that a large proportion of the little energy that I have these days has to go on keeping myself and my clothing clean. Before I was ill, it was just a minor inconvenience that I did without thinking of much, but now it’s almost everything an it’s infuriating.

The poster who said 'Twice a day' was talking about brushing her teeth, not showering.

If you only brush your teeth once a day, that's a problem.

DH can get up, spend 2 mins in the shower, clean his teeth, get dressed and be ready to go in less than 10 mins. Looking and smelling great.

But me - well, my personal best is 43 mins, for shower, hair wash, dry/style hair, put on make up and get dressed. I do it every morning, because I look and feel better once I've done it, but boy do I wish I could do it quicker. But I can't. I sometimes feel trapped by my basic grooming needs!

I thought it was just me! It is all just sooo booooring.

I try and aim for clean and tidy, if I'm going out, but don't always achieve both.

WFH today and I still have my pyjamas on with a fleece over the top that has a bit of yesterday's dinner down it. I will avoid putting the camera on if I have any calls as I haven't brushed my hair.

Still haven't bushed my teeth or washed my face with my hands (which is the sum total of my skin care routine) in cold water, cold, because I cba to wait for the hot to come through.

I like feeling clean after a shower but drying is so boring, and clothes! I lived in Australia for a while and you could just have pants, crop top bra, a loose vest dress and bare feet, or flip flops if you were feeling fancy.

The only reason I like the winter in the UK is because I can wear baggy tops and don't need to bother with a bra.

Ugh. The thought of doing a hairstyle and make up and choosing an 'outfit' EVERY DAY! ...gives me the ick.

Yes, I find self care totally tedious too and do it totally out of vanity. I look quite presentable if I make an effort (which is very time consuming) but look like I've been exhumed if I don't. I wish I'd never started to be honest.

I’m not remotely depressed but yes, I agree @binnibonnieboo.

For me the worst bit is brushing teeth. I always feel like “again!? I literally just did this!” It’s soooo boring.

Totally tedious. I don't wear make up because of the bore of putting it on and the grind of taking it off.

I am with you OP, it's all such a chore. And 100x more so now that I am pregnant. Even getting in the shower feels like such a huge pain and effort.

I thought you were going to say something like pedicures, manicures etc. Not having a basic wash!
But I agree, beyond the basics I get bored with it!

I consider having laser hair removal one of the best decisions I made. Had it done about 12 years ago and I can tell you , that I use an epilator on a few stray strands once maybe twice a YEAR.
I did it all over and I still am impressed with myself for doing that

I find showering and washing my hair really lovely because I like feeling clean afterwards. If I don't shower in the morning I feel sweaty and dirty until I do, which isn't nice. So I don't find it a chore at all. Same with brushing my teeth.

However, stuff that I do that doesn't come under that category, I am totally with you OP. Shaving is a particular bugbear. Whenever I buy deodorant I begrudge the cost of it, and even though it's five seconds a day I often think of the ritual I am going through on the off chance that I might stink despite showering every day. Make up is obviously the other thing. And having to wear certain clothes and underwear for society's sake not comfort or even style. Annoying.

I agree I find it effortless ! And I like how I feel with self care as well !

I get it.
It's all the boring, boring stuff. I like a shower enemy I've been gardening and covered in mud, or running, but daily....urgh.
Cleaning my teeth: 2 minutes x 2 of boredom.
Legand arm shave day: urgh.
Eating healthy breakfast and lunch:urgh

I like putting makeup on and doing my hair though.

Ironing.... is mine. Clothes are washed and dried to eradicate the need for an iron as much as possible. I know that with most of my clothes my body heat will remove the worst of the wrinkles from my clothes. If its a special occasion or an item is really badly wrinkled I will iron it undrr duress but uktimately i dream of being wealthy enough to send off a load of clothes to the laundry and have them returned ironed but just cant bring myself to spend hour upon tedious hour ironing.

I hate showering. I’m currently off work and haven’t showered since Saturday. I’m trying to find the enthusiasm to get in the shower. (I haven’t had to go anywhere except dog walks so no one other than my husband knows how disgusting I am.)

I haven’t brushed my teeth yet today. I try to do this daily but often skip it. During lockdown I really let this slip.

I hate exercise and have never understood people who enjoy it.

This threads making me think I am probably depressed.