To complain about my yoga studio nemesis

A lot of men have no concept of personal space or low-level noise nuisance and it's infuriating. One that pisses me off greatly is whistling in shops or copiously crinkling crisp packets on the train. Shut the fuck up!

Had to look up swim gloves - bizarre for a pool. I wonder if he has some kind of circulatory disorder like raynaud's or if he's just a berk

I would have absolutely made surely I "accidentally" kicked him. Next time he plonks his mat near mine I would ask him to give me more space. My teacher would absolutely pick up on this though anyway, she's very keen on good spacing!

In the summer I swim at a large open air facility frequented by many middle aged women gently breastroking around, enjoying nature etc, maybe chatting quietly in pairs. Inevitably you hear approaching from far behind a triathlete who will splash past creating massive waves with flippers, breathing noisily. Once a woman caught my eye, rolled her eyes, and said "wankers in wetsuits". We laughed. I find most other people in exercise classes annoying, being quite intolerant. Have you ever been in a soundbath where the person next to you goes straight to sleep and snores throughout, louder than any of the instruments being played? I have

I think as a grown up who is capable of speaking for themselves I would just ask him politely but directly to move his mat.

Why the drama? Why the long explanation? Why is he your nemesis (and the hyperbolic language)? Why tell the instructor?

Very simple. Say something.

Typical, it had to be a man. Prepare for a hostile reaction if you speak to him.

I teach yoga ..
It’s the teachers job to manage the class . However it’s a lot -
tell people to turn off phones , watches , ring doorbells etc . Tell people to get blocks - we use them everytime . Ask people about injuries and illnesses . Ask people to manage their own practice and listen to their own bodies . Ask people not to leave during savasana !! Ask people to arrive on time .
Oh and then provide an hour or more of breath work , meditation , asana , mindfulness and relaxation - with a yogic philosophy.
The measly pay you get for all this is unbelievable!

@EmeraldRoulette I suppose I meant they encounter more of people’s most visibly bizarre behaviour, not to mention their smells and unbridled grunting and moaning.

Most classes I have been to, the instructors are good about making sure everyone has enough space, being very clear about where mats should go, etc. But I think there’s not much you can do about the noises people make (or their personal odour, which is another factor that eventually put me off group exercise)

Every yoga class I’ve ever been to has featured at least one man who lacked any sense of spatial awareness, flinging his limbs all over whilst everyone around him tries to avoid a fist or a foot to the face. It’s like it’s part of the practice now.

In this instance your instructor is being rubbish - allowing late arrivals, not seeing that Mr Gobshite is not placing his mat safely to avoid kicking or being kicked, wandering off mid class and over exerting himself when his body isn’t ready. They should be on him like a hawk. Speak to them. Repeatedly if necessary. He needs to learn the etiquette of being in a class with other people.

Someone repeatedly threw a bar down in Crossfit, without the bumper plates and I did have a right go...I have now trained as a coach (not CF) so I wonder if I would say something.

Problem with me is that I'm both gobby and sensitive, which is a terrible combination for having a go at people.

@VoltaireMittyDream "I think exercise instructors and bodywork practitioners generally have to deal with more than their fair share of awkward situations with socially misattuned people"

are they actually dealing with them though? I haven't been to anything like this for 20 years plus. I don't know if they've all hit the point where they're worried about being sued or something.

@Goodmorningvinyasa oh I see, yeah I totally understand but it shouldn't be up to you to have to ask somebody that in a class. The instructor should've noticed straight away.

I have given up group exercise classes because of the noises people make.

The worst male offender was a very tall middle aged man at CrossFit who used to make extremely high pitched yelping / whimpering noises - somewhere between Michael Jackson and a coyote in heat. It startled the shit out of everyone, but he insisted that he wasn’t in pain, just ‘enjoying the workout’.

Then there was quite an elderly woman in my Pilates class who would moan orgasmically whenever we did any exercises involving the psoas muscle. We all studiously pretended not to notice, and avoided making eye contact with anyone else. After about three classes of her ecstatic panting and groaning I decided I wasn’t going to pay good money to feel that tense and awkward every week.

I think exercise instructors and bodywork practitioners generally have to deal with more than their fair share of awkward situations with socially misattuned people.

Were you swimming with me today ha I. Why do they lurk in groups like a Turkish bath aswell ..im so tempted to swim into them like they are the wall and push off from the balls not the walls. Grim

You should address instances as they arise with him directly

🤣🤣

🤢 that is horrible. (Your post did make me lol though - sorry). I’ve had farts in my direction. I do yoga at home now for reasons like this.Just got sick of selfish behaviour and people demanding an unfair amount of attention.

Why are the gurglebogging oafs like this. So entitled to space ao noisy, I swim and they splash about and phlegm down the drain and wash their balls poolside. I'm comfortable not sharing my life house or bed with one and now I resent them in public space ls too, tbh, rank.

I once saw a man at the gym bark at himself in the mirror while flexing

Typical man in a yoga class behaviour 🙄 every man that’s ever been in a yoga class I’ve been in has been similar - unnecessarily loud breathing/grunting, no awareness of personal space etc. They just seem to be so much louder and deliberately take up so much more space than they need to! It comes from growing up being conditioned to be entitled I suspect, by virtue of growing up male. I’d find it annoying but I probably couldn’t be bothered saying anything

He also has a habit of trying to force his body into poses he isn’t ready for and then making noises I’ve never heard before in a yoga class

Sadly the gym bros discovered my hot yoga class and it's now really competitive with lots of huffing and grunting.

My DH sometimes does a work out at home and makes all sorts of huffing, groaning and sighing noises. Im.sure he equates making a lot of noise with a making a lot of effort.
We went to a boot camp together, id been going for a while and he joined the class one week. It was mainly women and he was the only one making loads of noise during some abs exercises. I could tell the instructor was trying not to laugh. I was secretly quite relieved when he didnt want to go anymore! 🤣

Men in fitness classes are a curse. I was at a yoga class sitting on my mat (and we brought our own mats in) and some man decided to walk past and stood ON my mat rather than going around, and left a big dirty trainer print on it.

Also fuck-all spacial awareness compared to the women. Not saying no woman in a class has every irritated me as I'm a grumpy bitch, but with men it's almost invariable.

TBF I once went to a yoga class and put my mat near a woman who was sitting there already (not too near!) and she gave me a snotty look and said, ‘My friend usually goes there.’
I'm older now and give fewer shits, so would probably just suggest she get a life, but I'm sorry to say that at the time I muttered an apology and got up and went elsewhere in the room.

What is it with men?! One or two attend a class I go to. No issues with women, just the idiot loud men who think we care about their puffing and panting. We don’t 🤣