To think regular breaks is one of the positives?

I was so jealous of my single parent friends who got EOW and a night in the week off, I'd lie in bed fantasising about leaving my partner. If that makes you feel validated at all.

What a fucking prick your ex is. I hate men like this I really do. Fucking useless pieces of shit.

He has literally never had them overnight in begged him to take our eldest because he was struggling with the split and smashed up my house i said to my ex you need to take him for one night just one to give everyone a break he said pack him a bag I thought FINALLY he put him in the car spoke to him for five minutes took him out said he wont do it again he promises and sent him back in the house I argued with him he said no its fine he wont do it again and drove off I went back inside ds was ripping his wallpaper off

I never asked again

If I didn't think the dad was good enough to be my husband, I definitely wouldn't want him with the kids! If he's not good enough for me, he's not good enough for them. And if he abandoned me, I wouldn't trust him with them anyway.
I prefer to allow each other breaks, so the odd night/weekend he goes out while I look after the kids alone, or he stays home to relax if he prefers, and then he does the same for me another time. Sometimes we might pay a sitter so we can go out together. If we're a couple, we should have more money anyway (as we'd only be running one household/one set of bills). Most of my friends are either single parents (with the ex never involved) or in a couple, but friends who have an ex who has the kid some days seem to have a really hard time, with the ex always causing issues/upsetting the kids about new partners etc (yes, I know I only hear their side of things, but I feel really sorry for the stuff they have to put up with).

I love the time I get to myself on the every other weekends when my DC go to stay with their Dad; ideally the weekend would be 3 days instead of 2, then I’d really feel rested.

I am not a single parent but I can absolutely see how you would feel this way. You're 100% responsible when the kids are with you. If they're hungry or ill or bored or tired or fighting, that's all you dealing with every minute of it, even if you yourself are tired or ill etc. Of course the breaks would be absolutely critical for your mental health and general well being. The people you're describing must have support networks in place (family etc.) that give them space so it's less of an acute need for them to have some time apart.

My ex fucked up even having the kids for a couple of hours the amount of times they ended up in out of hours claiming high temperatures etc was ridiculous I walked up from work straight into the hospital he handed the kids over told me one was unwell and walked out he just wanted to disrupt my life

I could simply never trust him he ditched them after they grew up enough to challenge his narrative

I think it wholly depends on how the other parent is. If the other parent is crap then you feel worried about them whilst they’re not here, and guilty for doing anything nice. So it takes the enjoyment or relaxation out of it somewhat!

No I understand but it’ll be something. Before you know it you can leave them from morning till night!
It won’t fix the overnight issue, but by this stage you won’t need to get up early to see to them. They’ll be more self-sufficient with getting their own breakfast etc… and you can ignore them all morning 😂 and have lay-ins!

It does get easier once they’re in secondary school. Promise!

If it’s been a decade already you don’t have to wait too much longer before you can leave them home alone for a few hours. It feels great when you get to this stage!

That sucks!

We had no help either. I was so bitter about it for such a long time, but now our kids are older, we don’t owe anyone any help which is great!

I spend most of my life wishing for a break from my kids! Am married and we don't have family offering help or far away ILs that Dh can take them to. They are older now so things are easier but when they were young i would go alone to a hotel a few times a year for a little break. Occasionally I'd take a full day where I'd disappear, phone off and do whatever I want and return when they are asleep. Dh did the same. Sometimes it was all I looked forward to. What I would have really loved is having them out of the house while I get to stay but that never happens. I guess it's different if there are trust issues with ex or different parenting attitudes, I'd also worry that a young child wouldn't settle in a different place or be crying for me. If it's a partner that's capable then no I would be very happy with a break.

Financially it's bloody amazing, my money tripled overnight from being in a financially controlling household to being able to afford to go abroad twice a year with the kids.

Don’t believe them! All parents would love a free weekend now and again.

I used to joke with my DH about us splitting up just so we could get every other weekend off! We laughed, thought it could actually work, laughed again and then got on with the daily slog together.

Do you have the kids GPs you could ask for one weekend a month?

I liked breaks from my eldest when I was a single Mum, I needed them, luckily they have fantastic grandparents who used to babysit. Now I am not a SP and have another, I still love breaks every now and then, tbh I again am very lucky as GP’s offer to take the kids out as they enjoy it also