To not want my partner to be an anonymous sperm donor?

And if he really likes the child? Or a daughter is a real beauty or a son is a chip off the old block? How can he possibly know how he would react to potential children that are his but not yours? I sort of get he thinks it will not impact him or your family but it might.

If he ks donating in the UK legally he will not be paid for it. If he's getting paid he's either doing it abroad or via Facebook etc.

It's only easy to come by because men give it away so readily instead of realising that their sperm is basically the only thing women need men for in this day and age (to be extremely cynical) if there suddenly was a shortage of it women would be paying top dollar all of a sudden. Any man who wants to give it away for peanuts is dumb as rocks!

We’ve been together a few years, own a home together and I’m in my 2nd trimester of pregnancy.

Early in our relationship my partner told me he was considering doing sperm donation for a bit of pocket money/fun money. He had a holiday coming up at the time and wanted some spends. He had decided to ask my opinion before going ahead with it which I really appreciated as we were aiming for a long-term relationship at the time. I said I wasn’t personally comfortable with it as it felt like a huge thing to be doing just for some pocket money. I also was quite honest and open by the fact that the thought of a load of other women being pregnant with his offspring was weird to me and would put a dampener on the relationship. He understood and binned off the idea.

His best friend who is a single man and doesn’t plan on having his own kids (he spends half the year in Thailand and loves the bachelor life) has recently donated sperm and has been encouraging my partner to do it. Both on the basis of a bit of extra money and to “help people”. My partner has slowly been coming around to the idea and has mentioned to me he’d like to look into an anonymous donation again.

I told him I wasn’t comfortable with it. I don’t want to worry about my child having random siblings everywhere. I don’t want any random strangers who resemble my partner joining us for Sunday dinner in 18 years expecting him to step up and be their dad. And then on a slightly more unreasonable note - I don’t like the idea of other women being pregnant with his baby! I’m not usually a possessively jealous type and I know it’s very common to have children with more than one person and that’s normal nowadays. But I am otherwise in a really happy relationship with him and I feel like having children by him should be something that only I get the “privilege” of whilst we’re in a relationship? I don’t know if that makes sense. I think that’s a relatively normal thing to feel whilst pregnant isn’t it? If he had an older child with an ex partner it’d be different of course but the thought of other women being pregnant by him whilst I’m raising his newborn…it just freaks me out even though no cheating would’ve occurred. It just feels so wrong on a primal level. Maybe I’m just hormonal, I don’t know. I can understand people like his mate being donors but I don’t get why you’d do it if you have your own famil.

He hasn’t been nasty about my feelings but says I’m being overly sensitive about the emotional aspect of it and he doesn’t see why I’d feel jealousy towards any women that end up the recipient of his sperm. He also says the extra money will be useful for stuff for our baby. He says he’ll consider my feelings but that he will still go ahead with it if he wants too whether I like it or not.

I just hate hate hate the whole idea of it and I am so angry that he wants to risk upsetting me and bringing a load of resentment into our relationship for the sake of a few hundred quid (maximum).

Yes we are and I have mentioned this to him and he says he wouldn’t mind a superficial relationship with the offspring but he wouldn’t let them inherit anything or impose on our family life. He’d maybe just see them on his own occasionally if any of them ever got in touch

Yes we are! Don’t think he’s even bothered to look into it that seriously and research the practicalities of it as I just mentioned to him that I was “researching” online and found it was only expenses paid and he seemed slightly shocked. Which almost pisses me off even more. Stressing me out just for the sake of it rather than thinking it’d genuinely financially benefit us. I think the thought of donating sperm just makes him feel special or something, ugh.

i know the mate donated in another country which he has strong connections with and not the UK

I don't know if someone else has mentioned this but my mind immediately went to the Quiverfull movement 🥺.

There's a world of difference between a broke single student making a bit of pin money and whatever the f*CK this 👆 is.

Uhm, I'm pro choice and I was just about to say his body his choice, if a woman came on here saying she wanted to donate her eggs she'd be hailed and told don't let anyone dictate what you do with your body. If a woman wants to abort and the man is furious tough, her body her choice springs to mind in those situations.

That being said his reason is ridiculous, it's very immature American teen comedy where the college boys have to scramble for cash and go to a sperm bank. A woman would do it much more from an altruistic perspective. That's a huge assumption from me and I certainly don't know statistics but I feel women are more likely to donate her eggs from an empathetic place not I want £50 and to spread my seed.

Side note I didn't know breeding kinks were a thing, is that what that crazy fertility doc guy was about then? 😯

Oh FFS the pro-lifers have crawled out the woodwork.

His body his choice..

Do you feel ill at the thought of one of the female members of your family killing an unborn baby by having an abortion?

I actually think it would be a dealbreaker for me, the thought of it makes me feel ill

I believe so, but a lot of people worry about their child meeting someone at, say, 16, when they don't know, and it turning out to be a sibling. I guess we have all heard the stories of someone being attracted to a sibling (when they don't know they are related, obviously). I think it's called GSA, and was once a reason why people didn't approve of having casual sex-because children brought up with their siblings, as would have been the norm, do not suffer from this. Obviously sperm donation is a modern variant of the issue. OP, I agree, I would never be ok with someone having a baby with a stranger. Being a surrogate for a sister is one thing-getting a stranger pregnant (even without sex), and never knowing how or if that baby will be cared for, or if they might meet your daughter at college one day-no.