Ashamed of how much I've spent on a stupid mobile game

It was a coping mechanism and probably needed short term. No harm in that. Having lost your mum and dealing with everything else, £200 is a small price to pay for some comfort. You have got something to show for it, it helped you through a difficult time. Good to notice now as you’re right, these games are designed to lure more money out of you. But don’t beat yourself up, we’ve all done the equivalent.

IMO, what you did was not any different to binge eating, drinking or whatever else we have all used as coping skills and then realising they aren't actually healthy behaviours and modifying them when we wake up from our stupor.

I don't think you should be ashamed at all. I think you did what you did to get through what you needed to get through and now you've moved on. ❤

Thats the problem with a lot of these games. They get you hooked, then the expenditure creeps in.

My DS is a gamer and would spend ££££s if I didn't control his money (ND - and he wants me to help him manage his money, before anyone squeaks) so we have agreed a weekly amount that I will put on his card to spend on games.

He is socially anxious so doesn't really like pubs or clubs, so socialising in Xbox parties etc., is important to him.

Nothing wrong with you gaming or spending money in games, just set yourself a sensible budget.

Don't worry about it, at least you had a look how much you spent and owned up to yourself about it.

Did you enjoy playing the game? Some of them really are just money gouging and ridiculous, and they are made to be deliberately addictive, but they are not all as bad, and I don't mind giving developers a few quid when they have made a fun game that I've enjoyed like any other kind of entertainment.

If you can't control it, best to stay away entirely.

Been there, done that, TWICE! Two different apps about 5 years apart. The second time was closer to the price of a nice family holiday.

In my defence, both times were linked to anxiety while waiting for some very serious medical results. It was the distraction I needed to get through a very difficult time. The second time though, I continued playing though and it was seriously out of hand in the final week. Like you, at some point I realised how much it was and immediately deleted the app. No looking back.

Be kind to yourself, you've had a rough time. As others have said, you could have spent it on things that other do, like wine and food, or gone on a shopping spree. It really doesn't matter, especially as you say it hasn't exactly blown your budget or stopped your family from eating.

Hopefully things are looking up for you now, but if not, next time, a good walk, or coffee with a friend are my best suggestions. ❤

Think of it as therapy . It was a distraction . I’ve rediscovered Angry Birds and although I’ve spent no money I’m ‘wasting’ a lot of time on it but it stops my brain from looping its usual shit

Games are relaxing and a great escape. It's not great that it was £100 but I would roll my eyes at myself delete the game and appreciate the relief it gave me. Get yourself an Xbox or PlayStation and play RPGs I set timers and play for an hour or so and you can't beat open world exploration for pure escapism. Witcher 3 is my current favourite over the last few years I've played it for hundreds of hours and it cost less than £30

Gosh when I read the title I thought it was going to be thousands! Honestly, OP, don't beat yourself up about this! think of it as 'buying a round of golf' or 'going for a swim' at the local pool - you'd expect to pay for any such leisure thing, wouldn't you? If it entertained you and distracted you and what was needed at the time, then it wasn't a 'waste' of money at all!

I'm quite sure I spent a LOT more on (much missed) Farmville, on 'special' horses and the like! A collection of coloured pixels on a screen! then Farmville folded and they are all gone forever

It's fine. It was just what you needed at the time. You spent a (small!) amount on something you enjoyed. People do this all the time!

Well done for stopping when you did 🙌🙌

£200 to distract yourself from the rubbish time you’re having, it doesn’t seem too bad to me. Someone else might have spent it on takeaways, alcohol, weed, a couple of nights out or whatever. It’s not a big deal. You don’t want to continue to spend it on the game so you have made a plan not to do it again. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Life is crap to is sometimes and we do whatever we need to get us through. Be kind to yourself. 💐

I've done similar. Not with add ons but upgraded a game I usually pay for free. Similar reason. Recently widowed and was a distraction. Also splashed out a bit more on things I wouldn't normally. No big deal if you are aware of it and like me are now going into pull back mode. At least you didn't spend it on something that would hurt you or someone else, unlike the drunk who crashed into your car.
So sorry for your loss of your mum and hope your life gets better.

Reframe it as you’ve spent money on a leisure activity. Accept the money has been spent, and give yourself permission. To move on.

Your shame is just another way to act negatively about yourself. Which is way costlier than 100 quid.

Don't be ashamed, you've done no harm and fortunately you've realized before it was a crazy amount of money. Its a harmless thing and if it's reduced your stress a little it's all good.

Yes this.
Some computer games mimic the same Eye movements that are utilised in EMDR therapy and are very good at helping to erase trauma.

So effectively you have just invested in a form of therapy. Please don't stress or feel guilty about this. You could have turned to drugs or vodka.

I spent £4.5k on a new laptop last year. I don't regret it but I'm also alarmed by my spendthrifery. I was unemployed!! I'm so anxious I'm going to drop it or spill a drink on it or something.

But, you know, you can't take your money with you when you snuff it! You need to find that balance I think, and enjoying splurging that money, realising it's not wise to keep it up and deleting the game sounds like a good balance to me!

As others have said - you enjoyed it. Gecko Out is rather fun...

Ha! The cost of wool is exactly what I was thinking of! I’m an embroiderer and thread is pretty expensive too, before you’ve even factored in the cost of whatever you’re embroidering on.

You should feel no shame either @345grey, we all deserve money for hobbies, be they computer games or knitting! 🤟🏻

I think it was money well spent imo. If it gave you a break/distraction from all the rubbish you've got going on then it was value for money. And I bet if you counted the hours playing for the coins bought it wouldn't have been that much for entertainment.

Am sorry about your parents, rotten going.

I spent about £30 on Pokemon Go, one month. It got increasingly expensive and I no longer play. I think it's easy to get caught out by these things, they're designed to draw you in. Chalk it up to experience.

OP I did something similar with another ' merge' style game. Never play merge games they are predatory as F and stronger regulation is needed in my book, because some of them function as 'egalitarian gambling' essentially.

I finally came to my senses when I spent frequent amounts of money trying to complete a special prize streak before a cut off time. Played like crazy every day. Still didn't make it in time to get the prize. Why? Because I still hadn't spent enough. If I had been willing to spend even MORE money, I'd have completed it and that's when I woke up and uninstalled it from my phone and I have avoided 'story' themed games ever since, since that's my particular poison, as I want to finish the story, find out what is happening next and get reeled in by the suspense etc. Of course there never is an 'ending'.

It's pure dopamine. I'm also ill and experience low dopamine as a result of my specific illness, so that dopamine also has a nice little distraction from pain.

My parent was dying too during this time from a nasty disease. After he died I still got caught again, this time by online shopping on second hand sites.

Came to my senses about it all now, (hopefully!!!) I don't make purchases on games, I only play a few that are not as 'pushy'
I've avoided all the websites I used to buy tat I didn't need. It was grief spending. The funny thing is I always rated myself as not being prone to any gambling, never go casinos or put money on cards or slots machines.

It's grief OP. I know you feel bad, but honestly just chalk it up to experience, there's no reason for you to feel ashamed about it. You've realised it and now are talking about it on MN where you risked getting roasted, so you're brave, you want to get past it and really just had a temporary blip, due to completely understandable reasons. Now you've started regaining your balance you've realised. It's absolutely understandable. Don't feel ashamed, acknowledge it and move on. Sorry for your loss💐

You need to be a bit kinder to yourself op, sounds like you've had a terrible time of it and no-one can blame you for seeking a bit of escapism

@CareHomeWorries I think it's just because its seems like its a 'small' thing you have spent the money on. But anything that gives comfort is not such a bad investment. I lost a parent this year also and went back to vaping after giving up for years, I'm sure I've wasted similar on them and its not great for my health. I'm almost ready to quit again- it got me through the bit I needed it to while I processed- and I'm sure this game has done the same for you.

Sorry you’ve had a hard time op.

a lot of things can be considered a waste of money. I’ve bought books I haven’t read / finished, bought endless fripperies like nail polish, accidentally subscribed to things I’ve not used ..

Maybe the games filled a need to distract yourself that helped you at that time. You say you can afford it so that’s good. You wouldn’t normally spend like that and you don’t plan to do it again, so that is good too.

don’t be too hard on yourself!

best of luck getting back to baking and crafting if that’s what makes you feel good.

Please don’t beat yourself up over this. Like other posters say, it could have been spent more wreck less.

We all have our vices and I also took up playing games to help me when my DH was in hospital. It was so therapeutic.

Try to reframe it as a pay per use. You wouldn’t go into an arcade and not pay. You’re not wasted money if you have enjoyed it.