To be annoyed at my partner inviting family to stay without telling me?

The real issue isn't them coming. The real issue is that in your mind the lack of ducussion and communication demonstrates to you it's his still home rather than your home together.

Personally, I'd raise it. Part of partnership and common curtesy is discussing and agreeing this stuff.

Love I'm thinking of inviting x over for x weekend. Do we have any plans?

He should have told you he was inviting them, that’s just common courtesy.

And he should have asked you if you mind them sleeping in your bed, and then only made that offer if you said it was fine.

You will be away that weekend!

The sheets will be changed, so what if they sleep
in your bed?

Honestly, I know no one amongst my friends and family who is so closed and rigid and anti -house guests and keeping furniture to themselves as on MN.

This is his sister. Family. You won’t even be there.

I wouldn’t want anyone in our bed either, plus he should have told you.

Tell him he is making you feel like it's not your house too. In future he must always ask and get your agreement or it doesn't happen. I wouldn't want even family in my room ( without a lot of notice to tidy and hide everything not for public consumption!).

It’s his house too.

Did he know you’d be away so wouldn’t affect you? In which case the only thing that bothers me is the thinking - I’d have to talk to him and say I sleep in this bed in this room in this flat every night. I don’t want to do that if it’s ’your’ flat. You said they can have my room. If you don’t think of it as our room then we have bigger problems. I don’t sleep in your room.

MN is a different world sometimes! It’s bloody weird to be so possessive over someone sleeping in your bed when you aren’t there. I genuinely don’t know a single person irl who would refuse a friend/family member sleeping in their unused bed.

No, it's not ok.

The bed they'll bebusing is not exclusively your husband's to offer, and neither is the house.

The bed thing would give me a serious problem. I would not want anyone staying in my bedroom, with all my clothes, etc there for anyone to poke through.

Do absolutely nothing to prepare the house.

Tell your H it's his job to get the spare room ready for the guests and that there is no way these people will be sleeping in your bed.

Tell him that in future, discussions need to be had before invitations are extended to guests, and that your bed is completely off limits.

Wow! You've been with some shitty men! I don't actually know any men like that. All the men I've been with in my life and the men I know all do their fair share of organising things.
In fact me and most of my female friends comment that our men are better at organisation than we are!

Honestly I don't tell my partner who's coming round or potentially staying if he's away from home.
And when I asked if that bothered him he's said no; and for what it's worth it doesn't bother me when he does it either.

Hate to break this to a few of you but …..hotel beds have had people sleep in them before you!!!!! Can’t see what the issue is having people sleep in your bed if the sheets are changed before and after?!? Seems pretty nice and caring of him thinking that there are 3 of them and 1 of him to offer the bigger room rather than saying “really sorry but my partner who is not here but staying in a hotel which has had people sleep in the bed before her doesn’t want people sleeping in her bed so off you pop to the tiny but room!”

If you’re away I don’t see the problem, except if you haven’t previously had guests sleeping in your bed - that needs to be discussed if it’s a new thing.
If he’s expecting you to be there and entertain, or shop and cook for the visit, then it is not right that he didn’t discuss with you prior.

I think if you’re really honest with yourself it’s the fact that he’s still acting like it’s his house that is bugging you. Speak to him about that.

Like hell would a three year be in my bedroom without me supervising every single second! I’ve got valuable stuff in there, in sentimental, financial and work terms.

I don't really expect to be asked. We often make arrangements for friends to visit and "inform" the other. And there is basically an unspoken rule in our house that guests have our bedroom because it is the only room which is not affected by early morning routine.
I don't do any special cleaning for guests either.
I especially don't care if I am not going to be there at all. The whole town can stay over, as far as I am concerned as long as the house is back to normal when I get home.

I wouldn’t mind except for the part of them using my bedroom. That’s not on.

Ah well the prep work would be the biggest issue for me. If your house will be as you'd want it fir visitors anyway then theres less of an issue.
I do still think that as they will be using your bed it would have been polite of him to ask you though

This

You won't be there, it's still weeks away, and it's not creating any work for you. I think you're overreacting because it won't affect you in any way.

You have a rosy view of men.
In my experience majority of men wont even register that any preoccupied work needs doing for guests ahd it will be left mostly up to you. And you will be societally judged for it if you dont do it and you'll know the guests will probably on some level judge you... so you are forced to do it. And if its been sprung on you at short notice its extra shit

Just an assumption, based on my fella!
I’m probably wrong though. A lot of men probably would clean & get food for guests.

Yeah its disrespectful to not discuss it with you. Especially as they'll be sleeping in your room.
Id be really angry actually.
Id never invite anyone to stay overnight without discussing it with my husband. Its both of ours home. Its his personal space too. You need to make sure its ok by both of you.

This is pretty odd, why would you assume that someone who has invited guests to stay with them would not do any preparation for those guests, to the extent of not even providing food for them?
I get that you might want the house clean to your own standards before people stay, but presumably OP's partner is a grown-up and is aware his guests will need to eat...!