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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

463 replies

Unsurree · 30/03/2026 15:29

I just don’t know if I am the problem. In a nutshell we bought raw bacon to put in nets to fish for crabs. DH was putting the raw bacon in while dd 3 was watching.

Affer he filled the net and put it in the water so dd could hold it, I asked him if he would go into the pub opposite to wash his hands.

He got really cross and stormed off muttering. There’s lots of moments like this and I just wonder if it’s me?! I don’t think it is but I would welcome other perspectives as he clearly thinks I’m unreasonable. For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs etc and I thought it was a small thing to do to wash hands to be safe. AIBU?

OP posts:
VivaciousCurrentBun · 31/03/2026 08:04

DH lived in Germany for a while where they eat bacon raw, it is however prepared and made in a different way than in the UK. He is however blasé about bacon because of this. A wipe would have been enough for me and always carried them when kids were little.

GlovedhandsCecilia · 31/03/2026 08:01

"Everyone’s day goes nicer then doesn’t it -"

@Tacotuesdayfan that sounds so sinister

"EVERYTHING goes NICER when you do as I SAY, doesn't it EVERYBODY???!!!"

Mumtobabyhavoc · 31/03/2026 08:00

Happytaytos · 31/03/2026 06:52

Another head banger after your responses. The sea is dirty, probably more so than bacon! Which bit of that are you not understanding?

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Another meanie. Oh, well.. 😔

godmum56 · 31/03/2026 07:57

Tacotuesdayfan · 30/03/2026 18:00

It’s just risk mitigation that’s all :) I’d also expect everyone to wash their hands after faffing with the activity too.
Providing OP didn’t ask in a horrible way, even if the husband didn’t agree that it was necessary, to make OP comfortable he could have just done it without beefing. Everyone’s day goes nicer then doesn’t it - no domestic and a risk reduction! Just a nice way to show their feelings have been considered.

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but it wasn't the end of the activity, it was midway through. I mean how many times are people expected to break off doing something?

Happytaytos · 31/03/2026 06:52

Mumtobabyhavoc · 31/03/2026 02:03

We? You're not sounding very nice. 🤔

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Another head banger after your responses. The sea is dirty, probably more so than bacon! Which bit of that are you not understanding?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 31/03/2026 02:03

sittingonabeach · 31/03/2026 00:59

@Mumtobabyhavoc that’s what we are doing after each of your responses too

We? You're not sounding very nice. 🤔

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 31/03/2026 01:30

Carry hand sanitiser if it bothers you

sittingonabeach · 31/03/2026 00:59

@Mumtobabyhavoc that’s what we are doing after each of your responses too

Mumtobabyhavoc · 31/03/2026 00:32

RedWineCupcakes · 30/03/2026 22:56

You're right, you don't get it.

Where was the raw bacon? And what were they doing with it?

Hint: it was at the sea side and involved crab nets.

The moment you touch anything else involved in the activity, the washed hands are... no longer washed.

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good gawd. 🙄

frustrated head GIF
RedWineCupcakes · 30/03/2026 22:56

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/03/2026 22:36

It's about raw bacon.

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You're right, you don't get it.

Where was the raw bacon? And what were they doing with it?

Hint: it was at the sea side and involved crab nets.

The moment you touch anything else involved in the activity, the washed hands are... no longer washed.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/03/2026 22:36

sittingonabeach · 30/03/2026 22:33

@Mumtobabyhavoc you can keep quoting that but in reality if you were crabbing how often would you wash your hands? Every time you touch the line, hook, crab, handle, sea water (knowing what floats in our water)

It's about raw bacon.

Misunderstanding You Dont Understand GIF by ALLBLK
sittingonabeach · 30/03/2026 22:33

@Mumtobabyhavoc you can keep quoting that but in reality if you were crabbing how often would you wash your hands? Every time you touch the line, hook, crab, handle, sea water (knowing what floats in our water)

Indigomelon · 30/03/2026 22:32

Even if bacon is cured there’s still a risk it could contain tapeworm larvae, toxoplasmosis, trichinosis. Probably best to wash hands.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/03/2026 22:32

RedWineCupcakes · 30/03/2026 22:27

Nice attempt at deflection.
You can't separate the bacon from the crabs here.

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You can't what? 😂😂😂😂

You Crazy Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live
RedWineCupcakes · 30/03/2026 22:27

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/03/2026 22:25

Interesting. Perhaps you could start a thread about that.

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Nice attempt at deflection.
You can't separate the bacon from the crabs here.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/03/2026 22:25

RedWineCupcakes · 30/03/2026 22:21

And how many times should you wash after touching a crab?
Context is so important. This wasn't food preparation. Crabbing kit and the harbour are far more likely to be contaminated than a few bacon bits.

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Interesting. Perhaps you could start a thread about that.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/03/2026 22:24

sittingonabeach · 30/03/2026 22:21

@Mumtobabyhavoc you still haven’t said how many times you would wash your hands

Should you wash your hands after touching raw bacon?

wash hands in warm, soapy water after touching raw food (such as meat, poultry, fish and eggs) and before handling ready-to-eat foods (such as salad vegetables) keep raw meat/poultry/fish as well as unwashed raw fruit and vegetables separate to ready-to-eat foods during storage and preparation.

As needed.

sittingonabeach · 30/03/2026 22:21

@Mumtobabyhavoc you still haven’t said how many times you would wash your hands

RedWineCupcakes · 30/03/2026 22:21

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/03/2026 22:09

"It is safe to touch raw bacon, provided you wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water immediately afterward to avoid spreading bacteria like
Salmonella or Listeria. Raw bacon is uncooked, cured pork and can harbor harmful bacteria or parasites, so it should never be eaten raw, but handling it is safe with proper hygiene."

I hope that helps. 😊

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And how many times should you wash after touching a crab?
Context is so important. This wasn't food preparation. Crabbing kit and the harbour are far more likely to be contaminated than a few bacon bits.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/03/2026 22:09

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 30/03/2026 19:21

So how often would he need to wash his hands to be acceptable?

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"It is safe to touch raw bacon, provided you wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water immediately afterward to avoid spreading bacteria like
Salmonella or Listeria. Raw bacon is uncooked, cured pork and can harbor harmful bacteria or parasites, so it should never be eaten raw, but handling it is safe with proper hygiene."

I hope that helps. 😊

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/03/2026 22:07

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 30/03/2026 19:20

Bacon isn’t exactly raw meat.

However if you’d said it was raw chicken I’d agree with you.

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"It is safe to touch raw bacon, provided you wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water immediately afterward to avoid spreading bacteria like
Salmonella or Listeria. Raw bacon is uncooked, cured pork and can harbour harmful bacteria or parasites, so it should never be eaten raw, but handling it is safe with proper hygiene."

Twatterati · 30/03/2026 21:58

InterestedDad37 · 30/03/2026 15:39

I hope he stormed off sideways 🦀 🦀 🦀

😂 brilliant!

Happyjoe · 30/03/2026 21:56

Hallamule · 30/03/2026 19:45

Lol not like everything else then.

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Really? Is that the best you could come up with?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/03/2026 21:55

Rhaidimiddim · 30/03/2026 19:21

A 3-y-o is more likely to get ill from whatever's in the sea water than from supermarket bacon.

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Is it cleaner and safer being from a supermarket? I guess that's why it's Super? 😊

Satarn · 30/03/2026 21:46

ImmortalSnowman · 30/03/2026 21:11

Any pub round here, you would have to buy something to use the toilets. Might as well enjoy your purchase.

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Exacly and thats what id be doing, enjoying my purchase or 2 maybe 4.