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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

463 replies

Unsurree · 30/03/2026 15:29

I just don’t know if I am the problem. In a nutshell we bought raw bacon to put in nets to fish for crabs. DH was putting the raw bacon in while dd 3 was watching.

Affer he filled the net and put it in the water so dd could hold it, I asked him if he would go into the pub opposite to wash his hands.

He got really cross and stormed off muttering. There’s lots of moments like this and I just wonder if it’s me?! I don’t think it is but I would welcome other perspectives as he clearly thinks I’m unreasonable. For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs etc and I thought it was a small thing to do to wash hands to be safe. AIBU?

OP posts:
JeepersItsTheKraken · 30/03/2026 15:35

Makemineacosmo · 30/03/2026 15:34

What people, the op only posted 4 minutes ago? 🤣
I would have expected him to wash his hands purely because it's not very nice to have raw meat on your hands. His reaction sounds over the top, but I think you're making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill too.

Show quote history

The vote

CookingFatCat · 30/03/2026 15:35

Does he understand it’s like touching raw
chicken?

it depends how you spoke to him, ‘don’t forget to wash your hands’ or ‘go and wash your hands immediately’ and tone - you aren’t his mother and maybe he didn’t need you to tell him?

Reliablesource · 30/03/2026 15:35

Are you always neurotic about hygiene? He was about to do crab fishing so his hands were going to get dirty anyway. If hand hygiene is such an issue, why don’t you carry wet wipes and/or hand sanitiser like most people and then no one needs to be sent to a pub to wash their hands. You have a 3yo, small children are continually getting their hands dirty. Fuss over nothing.

redskyAtNigh · 30/03/2026 15:35

If DH was fishing for crabs it's likely that his hands were in contact with lots of other "not very clean" things. As long as he wasn't planning to lick his hands or eat, it would surely make sense to wash hands when finished?

tartyflette · 30/03/2026 15:34

Hoolieghoul · 30/03/2026 15:33

YANBU. Washing hands after touching raw meat is a basic hygiene principle, but even if he disagreed that it was necessary or had been planning to wash them anyway and felt nagged or whatever it is, storming off in a huff is shitty behaviour. There was nothing stopping him from calmly and kindly explaining his side of things to you, except that he's disrespectful and stroppy.

Bacon is not raw, it has been cured and possibly even smoked too.

Makemineacosmo · 30/03/2026 15:34

JeepersItsTheKraken · 30/03/2026 15:32

Wow the fact people have deemed you unreasonable shows the low hygiene standards some people have. You should always wash your hands after handling raw meat. It's gross not to.

What people, the op only posted 4 minutes ago? 🤣
I would have expected him to wash his hands purely because it's not very nice to have raw meat on your hands. His reaction sounds over the top, but I think you're making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill too.

Hoolieghoul · 30/03/2026 15:34

bunnypenny · 30/03/2026 15:33

Didn’t he wash his hands in the sea??

That well known surfactant, the ocean...

tartyflette · 30/03/2026 15:33

What bugs are on raw bacon? It is already cured and is perfectly safe to even eat when ‘raw’, just like Parma ham, or Spanish jamón, for example

Hoolieghoul · 30/03/2026 15:33

YANBU. Washing hands after touching raw meat is a basic hygiene principle, but even if he disagreed that it was necessary or had been planning to wash them anyway and felt nagged or whatever it is, storming off in a huff is shitty behaviour. There was nothing stopping him from calmly and kindly explaining his side of things to you, except that he's disrespectful and stroppy.

bunnypenny · 30/03/2026 15:33

Didn’t he wash his hands in the sea??

Original poster
Unsurree · 30/03/2026 15:32

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 30/03/2026 15:31

I think this sounds a bit bonkers.

@ItsOnlyHobnobs me or him?!

OP posts:
JeepersItsTheKraken · 30/03/2026 15:32

Wow the fact people have deemed you unreasonable shows the low hygiene standards some people have. You should always wash your hands after handling raw meat. It's gross not to.

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 30/03/2026 15:31

I think this sounds a bit bonkers.

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