Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

I would just rinse out my hands in the sea or use a bit of sanitiser - mainly so I didn't have bacon-y smelling hands. I wouldn't be worried about getting bugs from touching bacon fora few moments - that is a bit mad TBH.

this made me snort wine out of my nose. Despite hurting, I still REALLY appreciate this comment 😂

When we go crabbing we usually wash hands when it's all finished as you will probably be picking up the net again anyway. Or a dollop of hand sanitiser until handwashing can be done.

You were crabbing, presumably you know crabs are dirty and he would have had to wash his hands again if you caught anything? Better to wash after the whole event, otherwise he would be in and out of the pub all afternoon!

I always have hand wipes if we go out for the day, especially with a three year old.

Yabu to tell him to go to the pub. He could have just washed them in the sea

Like others have said, wash them in the sea

We’ve been crabbing loads of times and have never washed hands properly in between each bacon laden net! We just used some wipes each time and told the kids not to put their hands in their mouths 🤷🏻‍♀️ then washed them properly at the end.
I can’t imagine him having to traipse off to the pub to wash his hands each time. That’s bonkers! I miss going crabbing.

Yes I agree with this. Directing him to do it is quite controlling.

She is crazy! I am not surprised he stormed off!

Surely if you're crabbing, you're repeatedly getting your hands dirty??

Does she expect him to wash them every 5 minutes?

It all depends on how you said it/asked.

Sensible to wash hands but poor planning to go to an activity that requires hand washing and not take something to clean hands with. Wipes or hand sanitiser would have done.

Basic hygiene for sure - but rinsing hands in the sea or using a wet wipe would be ok!

Was he planning on putting his unwashed fingers in DD's mouth and rub them around the inside of her cheeks?

Or were you concerned his salt water washed meaty fingers even touching DD's skin would be problematic?

Also, you bought the bacon with you right? So you knew you'd be handling raw meat, but you couldn't get it together to bring soap or wipes to sanitse? You thought instructing your grown arsed husband to walk to a pub and use their toilets (without a drink RUDE!) was the way to go?

Fuck me.

I actually said I would feel comfortable if he washed his hands afterwards as I was worried dd would put her hands in her mouth. He then huffed and puffed and was quite unpleasant and said I was over the top and crazy. I then said please don’t be unkind I just want to ensure dd isn’t exposed to raw meat. That’s when he stormed off muttering

How does him washing or not washing his hands affect your daughter? You said you were worried she would put her hands in her mouth. Ok, I can understand that but it doesn't make any difference to her if he doesn't wash his hands.
If you'd asked him to take her to wash his hands this would make sense but according to you, you asked him to wash his hands.
So did you ask him to take your daughter to wash her hands and wash his at the same time or just ask him?

If you were that concerned about her being exposed to raw meat you either shouldn't have bought the bacon to use for that purpose in the first place or you should have bought sanitizing wipes and spray at the same time as the bacon.

He was unreasonable for storming off - not sensible adult behaviour.
You were both a bit daft for not bringing wipes or similar - it’s annoying to head over the road to wash hands as you’re bound to need to do it more than once for this type of activity.

The most unreasonable people are the couple of posters on this thread who think raw bacon is edible. It really really isn’t. Not the same as cured ham like prosciutto etc. It’s not as cured as that sort of thing. It’s still raw pork.

Yes we used to pinch the little bits of bacon that fell off the bacon slicer at the local shop when the shopkeeper went to wrap up the sliced bacon. I am sure he used to turn a blind eye to us children doing it. My DM used to tell us we would catch worms from eating it. We never did. My Nan had a special pair of scissors that she kept for cutting the rind off bacon.
Are you going to eat the crabs that you catch @Unsurree ? Through handwashing after the whole activity is completed seems to make more sense to me.

For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs

Whatever hours he works, it should not all be on you. He can take time off like any other parent.

I would have taken hand sanitiser to an activity like that, but if not, I wouldn't have run immediately to wash them in a pub bathroom. I'd have just waited until after the activity.

Don't you have to keep putting more bacon on anyway, because the crabs eat/steal it? You're going to be handling bacon (and crabs) every time you catch anything.

How many times was he supposed to go back and forth to the pub without buying anything?

He called OP over the top and crazy then stormed off muttering, but it's OP who's hard work...?

why not carry a pack of baby wipes or an anti bacterial wipes ?

Mens pub toilets probably more germ ridden than a bacony crab bucket.

Jeez. He could wash them in the sea surely. Or wipes? I mean he’s going to be handling the crabs in a few minutes. People go nuts these days about hygiene - he’s not a little kid who’s going to be sucking on his fingers.

If you've been typing this on a smartphone OP I hope you sanitise it regularly- filthy things, covered in germs.
And if you keep it in your handbag, you might as well just go and lick a toilet seat, honestly.
And what if DH washed his hands but then had to touch the door handle of the gents and the person before him hadn't washed their hands?
Strangers' willy germs everywhere...

It doesn't bear thinking about.

I wash my hands at home when cooking raw meat and sanitise the surfaces it comes into contact with. But it's not like river water, or crabs are really that clean either...I always carry those packs of wet wipes so I might just use one of those and wash properly when I got home.