Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

I would assume it’s more the patronising tone you took with him if you said it as you’ve come across in your posts.

You give the impression that you are a bit neurotic about hygiene so I’m guessing this was the straw that broke the camels back.

Your DD was far more likely to pick something up from the water than the bacon so I can see why your DH was a bit exasperated.

You told him to wash his hands in case she put her hands in her mouth? How in batshit does that work?

Is he ever allowed to be a grown up ?

He was crabbing!

What is he supposed to do - put bait in net, run and wash hands, catch crab, touch crab, put bait in net, run and wash hands, repeat!

Bacon is cured it’s not the same as raw pork chops. My son loves bacon that much he has a couple of times eaten it raw. I would go prepared with some hand gel and wipes. My hands would feel a bit weird not washing after.

Asi from that crab fishing is cruel the way they are shoved on top of each other in buckets. I wouldn’t have the issue of not being able to wash my hands because we just wouldn’t do it.

It’s just quite naggy.

Unless he wanted to risk spending the next few days with food poisoning then nope definitely weren't unreasonable!

It's just common sense touch raw meat = wash hands after!

We’ve crab fished for years and never worried about washing hands until after the whole thing. I think you’re being too precious about hand hygiene in this situation.

It’s more ignorance of the activity. He was about to handle the raw bacon, nets, and dirty crabs from dirty estuary water all over again in a few minutes so there was no point in washing hands at the pub before they were done. Surely with a 3 year old you’d have some sort of wipes with you anyway.

After crabbing of course you wash your hands thoroughly but not in the middle. Especially if you’re relying on a business allowing you to use their bathroom, as they are more likely to boot you out if you keep coming in multiple times.

Honestly I think you’re being a bit bit shit. You’re fishing for crabs but want a sterile environment 😵‍💫😵‍💫
Surely you carry babywipes or hand sanitizer with you as you have a toddler??

I'd see your point if it had been, say, raw chicken. With cured bacon it seems more of a personal choice so I'd leave it up to him. But you can also try explaining again why it's so important to you and asking for his cooperation. Wipes would have been a great compromise especially as there might not have been a pub nearby that allows non-patrons to use their loos. It seems like having to ask another adult to go into a pub and wash their hands all the time, rather than trusting them to decide what's needed do it themselves, would be tiresome and annoying for both of you.

On the other hand, I'm not sure why he didn't just say 'no; I don't think that's necessary" and carry on rather than doing it but humphing and muttering.

Take hand sanitizer next time? Buy cooked mackerel or something not raw. Don’t tell an adult when they have to wash hands?

While crabbing there isn’t always somewhere to wash hands. He is an adult and I would have thought he can decide to wash his hands. Hand sanitiser or bottled water would have helped. Plus surely he needs to keep topping the net up/handling the crabs etc.

Sounds like you were lining up a fun activity and it was then stopped for handwashing. Seems a bit OTT.

Just take wipes with you if you are that precious. You probably killed the moment asking him to go wash his hands like a child.

It most def was reasonable.i would be the same as you.unless i had some hand gel in my bag etc

Bacon isn’t raw.

Also going into a pub just to wash your hands doesn’t go down well generally as you aren’t buying anything.

Carry sanitiser in future if it’s an issue

Yes, at the end of the session, but there's not much point washing your hands only to then be handling crabs from the estuary.

I suspect his response was one of those "I can't get anything right" moments and wonder how many times a day he gets asked to do something differently to his way, with the implication that he cares less for DD.

Oh this is one of my issues! I am very anxious about raw meat and my husband... is not.
It completely does me in.
Tbf my DH doesn't ever storm off but he does sigh and roll his eyes.
Im aware it may be some level of unreasonable anxiety from me but ive seen him literally put his hands to his mouth after touching raw meat before.
I absolutely hate it.
I think your husband was being unreasonable to storm off even if he thought you were being silly. Its not very kind to react to anxiety in that way.
My DH has some driving related OCD stuff and I do gently make fun of it sometimes but id never storm off or react angrily as I know how it feels to be anxious about something

Dh is an obsessive handwasher, I knew this about him before I married him. Because I know he has anxiety about unclean hands I always carry both hand sanitiser and individually wrapped Clinell wipes in my handbag. There are also Clinell wipes in the glovebox of the car. He also carries them with him in a bag.

As you are very concerned about hand cleanliness then you should make sure you have wipes in whatever bag you have with you. Before the children ate anything I would always ensure their hands are clean with the wipes. We all still do it now in restaurants if we will be using our hands to eat.

My thoughts, too.

The tyoe of person who woukd be like "now wash your hands" is the type who just wants to dominate the activity. Why not leave him to enjoy crabbing with his daughter instead of having to intervene and give an order.

Agree with this, if you're out fishing/crabbing then I wouldn't expect to have to urgently wash hands after placing bate. What do you think those fishing do at fishing lakes?

So double the reason to wash his hands, no?

Yes, I agree

Bacon is cured. It wont harm him